Renovations and Repayments.

AlexLK

gallygirl wrote: »

If you had an extra £200 a month would you spend that as well? I expect so - in which case, you could probably live on £200 a month less. Save FIRST then spend what's left - it really is as easy as that, it worked a treat for me .

Gally, did you really need to ask that question?? If so, I think you've forgotten who you're replying to.

I save what I earn as additional income from buying and selling nice old things. That I can cope with as I'd not have the money in the first place if I just decided to keep the item or the cash used to buy it.

Not really sure how we could save first? I presume that would require us to learn how to budget?

hiddenshadow wrote: »

I also carry this to any unexpected savings - if I've budgeted £50 for a weekly shop but get it done for £42, I send the extra £8 to savings/OP immediately, rather than leaving it in the following week's spend and "letting" myself spend £58.

If the money is "gone" (either actually via OP to mortgage or virtually in savings) you have to be creative about your spending - otherwise you can be slack/lazy (or I can, anyway, I specialise in lazy ).

:rotfl: You're presuming we budget for food etc.? Personally, I haven't a clue how much we spend on anything but very set bills.

No idea how much money I could put into mortgage / savings which I think is the problem?

gallygirl

AlexLK wrote: »

Not really sure how we could save first? I presume that would require us to learn how to budget?

Em yes, that's the general idea :rotfl:.

AlexLK

maman wrote: »

I'm sure you'd feel better about saving more money as it would be another area where the new Alex would be taking control. The answer has to be in the 'not having a clue what we spend every month'. If you're confident that you're getting best value for your utilities and other essentials then the way forward has to be what you're spending on food and incidentals. Not sure about petrol. Is it because your cars aren't fuel efficient or that you just drive around when you don't need to? Maybe now you and MrsK are on a better footing you could work on this together. Why not try the spending diary again?

The utilities (inc. 'phones / internet / insurances etc.) are the only things I feel sure we're getting the best deal for. Not really sure how to go about getting the best deal for food and incidentals, to be honest.

We do a lot of driving but Mrs K's daily and my LR are good on fuel. My "summer" daily (i.e. not awful weather) does 15mpg (which I know isn't great), Mrs K's 5 Series does 20-25mpg and the LR does about 25mpg also. However, during the summer we can spend about £100 per week in the fun cars, just going for drives out. Not during the summer Mrs K fills the 5's tank every week, I fill both tanks of the Jag and £25 in the LR or if bad weather, a full tank goes in the LR.

Mrs K is very good at starting fancy looking spreadsheets but telling me that I must fill them in. I don't and once it gets behind, I stop altogether. Know this isn't the right attitude to have but I'm really not an organised person.

maman wrote: »

Personally I'm in the fortunate position where I don't need to save money but that doesn't mean I want to fritter it away with nothing to show for it.I resent being ripped off with ridiculous prices charged in some shops or being caught out buying bits and pieces in expensive convenience stores just because I'm disorganised. So I treat getting the best value as a challenge and then the money I don't use can be spent on things of my choosing.

You are a kind son but was 4 hours really essential? That's draining for you and unnecessary. Could it be that because you have a gap in your own routine because LittleK has gone to school you're just drifting with the time gained. Just think of the progress you could have made in the bathroom in that time. I really think a coffee and a chat for no more than an hour is enough and then you leave saying 'I have to get on'.

Absolutely agree that I don't want to be (or like being) ripped off.

You do have a point re. father as to be honest, I try to avoid being at my house. Today he spent three hours divulging how much I cost to raise (he has no problem with spending diaries ) and how I still don't know how much it costs to raise a child and it will fall to them. :mad: Do need to do some work on this house, you are right about that.

I suppose your point about raising children becoming some mothers raison d'etre rang true for me as a father because I see my son as why I persist with life. Also because I enjoy teaching him new things. As much as I know it's good for him to be at school and with others of his own age, I resent the fact I am no longer able to educate him full time. Nothing more rewarding than that moment something new 'clicks', in my opinion.

Debsnewbudget wrote: »

Hi Alex
Spending diary can be done with your favourite fountain pen, a new ink colour, a piece of paper and 5 minutes every night :rotfl:
I think both you and Mrs K might be on board this time to just mark down how much you are spending with no pressure on her to stop her lunches or coffees.
Just a fact finding mission for you both over a few weeks and then you know where the money has gone, or is going.
It might lead to a further discussion about what you can best do with your money at a later date, but again, no pressure.
Knowledge is power, and helps decision making over things like if we cut back on ....... Then we can get the dream bathroom so much sooner
Good luck

:rotfl: I've tried that before but found it too difficult to remember exactly how much I'd spent. I can't stand being given receipts, so throw them away the minute they're given to me. By the same token I really do want to start to take some responsibility for my finances.

No idea how Mrs K would react to another spending record experiment, to be honest.

Replace that bathroom for an E-type and I might start to become interested enough to actually follow through ...

AlexLK

gallygirl wrote: »

Em yes, that's the general idea :rotfl:.

See, this is the problem. I really don't understand how people budget or how they manage to do it for 1-2 weeks before just deciding it's impossible.

What happens if you run a strict budget but want to buy something like a new coat or have a spontaneous meal out at a nice restaurant? I just cannot see how it works.

hiddenshadow

AlexLK wrote: »

See, this is the problem. I really don't understand how people budget or how they manage to do it for 1-2 weeks before just deciding it's impossible.

What happens if you run a strict budget but want to buy something like a new coat or have a spontaneous meal out at a nice restaurant? I just cannot see how it works.

You make a conscious decision - maybe the budget is too strict (do I really a new coat? Is there a special occasion for the restaurant outing?) and should have allowances for coats/dining out/etc. Maybe I can take money from one of my other goals (is it worth buying that car 1-2 months later to buy the coat/have that meal now? which do I want more? do I just want that meal out because I'm lazy and don't feel like cooking? do I just want that coat because I want the rush of having something new?).

At the end of the day the decision itself doesn't really matter - you do what works for you. Maybe you spend £500/mo on petrol which would horrify me, but I would spend £500/mo on horse upkeep which you never would. For me, the fact that the decision is conscious and planned (even if only for 30 seconds before I act on it) means I can look back on my spending and be happy with it. When I think about how much I used to fritter away because "hey, we make good money" and "we don't really spend that much on treats, so why not this [one/second/third/Nth] time..." that I get :mad: with myself. Now I still look for ways to trim our budget (because I want to me MF earlier), but if we decide to treat ourselves to an extra takeway one month, or take advantage of sales to do extra shopping for household items, I don't mind because I know where the money came from (reducing our home maintenance savings for a month, making up our mortgage OP amount from our allowances, etc), so it's not just a constant ???? with regards to where our money went (and how/why it got there!).

heartbreak_star

AlexLK wrote: »

See, this is the problem. I really don't understand how people budget or how they manage to do it for 1-2 weeks before just deciding it's impossible.

What happens if you run a strict budget but want to buy something like a new coat or have a spontaneous meal out at a nice restaurant? I just cannot see how it works.

You either have a set amount of "mad-money" in the budget, or you just don't do it.

You buy things you NEED, not things you WANT.

HBS x

slowlyfading

AlexLK wrote: »

What happens if you run a strict budget but want to buy something like a new coat or have a spontaneous meal out at a nice restaurant? I just cannot see how it works.

Because every budget should have some wriggle room, or money specifically for this reason. I have some budget templates on my blog, if you want to have a look

maman

Alex, I really can't believe that an intelligent man like you can't get the hang of how to budget!!


I think what you mean is it's all too much trouble and you don't want to make the effort.


For example, on the food budget, the expensive way is to either just walk around the supermarket throwing things in the trolley with no idea what you plan to make with the ingredients or to call into a local shop several times a week buying bits and pieces for a couple of meals at a time. That's disorganised and expensive. You need to plan and only buy what you need and preferably in a shop that charges sensible prices. I reckon with a packed lunch for LittleK, breakfast and an evening meal for everyone you could probably spend about £50 per week if you tried, £60 would be generous. I'm assuming MrsK still eats out at lunchtime and you have Sunday lunch at your parents (unless that's permanently off??;)). There will always be some bits and pieces for you to have for lunch assuming you're not at your dad's listening to his latest monologue!:rotfl:


If you want help and ideas just ask.

smallholdingsister

It's all about intentionality, Baby!

AlexLK

hiddenshadow wrote: »

You make a conscious decision - maybe the budget is too strict (do I really a new coat? Is there a special occasion for the restaurant outing?) and should have allowances for coats/dining out/etc. Maybe I can take money from one of my other goals (is it worth buying that car 1-2 months later to buy the coat/have that meal now? which do I want more? do I just want that meal out because I'm lazy and don't feel like cooking? do I just want that coat because I want the rush of having something new?).

At the end of the day the decision itself doesn't really matter - you do what works for you. Maybe you spend £500/mo on petrol which would horrify me, but I would spend £500/mo on horse upkeep which you never would. For me, the fact that the decision is conscious and planned (even if only for 30 seconds before I act on it) means I can look back on my spending and be happy with it. When I think about how much I used to fritter away because "hey, we make good money" and "we don't really spend that much on treats, so why not this [one/second/third/Nth] time..." that I get :mad: with myself. Now I still look for ways to trim our budget (because I want to me MF earlier), but if we decide to treat ourselves to an extra takeway one month, or take advantage of sales to do extra shopping for household items, I don't mind because I know where the money came from (reducing our home maintenance savings for a month, making up our mortgage OP amount from our allowances, etc), so it's not just a constant ???? with regards to where our money went (and how/why it got there!).

Thanks, Hiddenshadow.

You make some excellent points. I would like to know where our money goes, I think I'm actually afraid to find out, to be honest.

In the past (and now) we haven't been disciplined and in some ways it's quite nice to be ignorant to how much we spend - don't have to do anything about it that way. However, I know it's not a good way forward.

Bluefire wrote: »

£400 out of our budget each month at the moment is listed as 'spare/petrol'. This covers DH's commuting bill of around £100 per month, with room to spare for extra petrol if we go anywhere & money to cover meals / weekends away etc. Granted as we're currently overpaying like mad we're not spending it (the leftover £300 gets overpaid most months) but next year when we stop we'll have a lot more wiggle room.

Thanks. Having a "spare" amount of cash to spend on whatever we like (or to save) does sound like a good idea. If we could be disciplined enough to do that, we wouldn't just spend everything we had left over after the bills are paid.

heartbreak_star wrote: »

You either have a set amount of "mad-money" in the budget, or you just don't do it.

You buy things you NEED, not things you WANT.

HBS x

I think you know I'm not very good at distinguishing the needs from the wants, HBS.