The Garden Fence - help and support in tough times

mardatha

Thank god that's one problem I haven't had. After 6 pregnancies I'm still able to drink tea nonstop lol.

monnagran

Sorry MITSTM, I can't use that excuse. I adopted my children. Mine is age plus overweight. The overweight is being addressed, the age business doesn't seem to have a viable alternative, or at least not one that I fancy at the moment.

Anyway my problem is very slight most of the time, just inconvenient - to coin a phrase. And yes, I do my pelvic exercises, when I remember.

Come on troops, I can't be the only one.

x

Floss

No you're not Monna

Fuddle don't be too long on your break love, we'll miss you.

MITSTM it's not just related to childbirth, and as Fuddle said, when the mother and/or baby's wellbeing is at risk then the medics will take appropriate steps to get the best outcome. I also tore badly with DS2 and by the time push came to shove (literally!) he was distressed due to cord issues. I would much rather have stress incontinence and a 28y.o. son than neither.

Knit_Witch

Monna I haven't had kids and have the problem, mine is due to a broken pelvis after an accident though!:eek:

[Deleted User]

Just to put a bit of balance into the debate I never had any kind of problem when I was pregnant with the girls, had one tiny tear when I had the second one and nothing at all with the first, was up and about within hours of both and have no related health problems in later life because I had my babies. It IS the best decision I ever made, it has been the most tremendous fun and adventure helping them to grow into the competent, decent, accomplished and useful to society individuals they have become, their contribution has helped and is helping many people to be healthy and educated and to achieve their potentials in life too. I have loved all aspects of parenthood, am adoring being Oma and wouldn't have done anything differently for all the tea in China!!!

candlelight_2013

I had to be cut with both my DDs, but that was a small price to pay.

I always knew I wanted children, I had a miscarriage in between my 2 DDs, so have 4 years between them.

I am incredibly proud of them and without DD2 I wouldn't have 3 of the most wonderful young people in the world. My DDs and my wonderful DGC have brought so much happiness into our lives and continue to do so.

It is a very personal choice to have children or not. Some ladies of course are unable to have them for medical reasons and some choose not to have them for social or other reasons.

I was happy to stay at one, but Himself who was an only child said he was lonely, so we thought it best to have 2. I was one of 3 girls and we could argue for England:)

We are not all the same

Candlelightx

nursemaggie

Monna Stress incontinence is easily fixed with a sling see your GP. You get in fairly quickly, it does not take long, your not cut and assuming no problems with anesthetic (rare these days) you should be home same day.

It does not fix urge incontinence,can also be caused by childbirth or multiple pregnancies though has many other causes. Trouble with this is it is a whole bladderful when it goes. I did my exercises after my first two, in hospital ten days then over 40 years ago, and physio came every day. I did them for over 20 years. It did not stop either stress incontinence or urge incontinence.

When DS was born out in 2 days no physio had forgotten half the exercises. Main reason I did not do them was my father died when DS was only six weeks old. Was travelling up and down the M1 every weekend and then stayed with mum until had to go back to work when he was 13 weeks.

Not long after was nursing mum, working full time with no help at all from ex. That enough confessions for you Monna.

Your so right Fuddle you hear of so many delaying cancer treatment to have their baby.

All mine were premature and I lost 4 before having DD in addition to the midwife every day I had the prem nurse too. The prem nurses came for a couple of months. Baby clinics are also available until they are two.

DD had DGS in Saudi Arabia, no midwives, no help with breast feeding, no baby clinics. She found a breastfeeding group on line when he was three weeks old. We get a lot of help.

As I was working at the maternity hospital when DD was born I guess I know things some people miss but I am sure we were told about tears. When everyone went to learn how to bath a baby I went too.

Sister said "You don't need to know how to bath a baby."

"I do." I said

"Yes I know it's different when it's your own.

mancbird

I would love another baby but don't think it will be possible. I've been pregnant 3 times (lost a baby between my boys) and had hyperemesis each time. It has gone worse with each subsequent pregnancy and I was in and out of hospital with the last one. I've not had any lasting problems from the births (one forceps, one c-section) but I can't abide ginger now I lost count of how many times well meaning people asks me if I'd tried it for sickness!

Softstuff

Monnagran, you're not the only one "blessed" by inherited traits. I have my mothers and grandmothers fine hair (so fine for many years they both wore wigs), my mothers huge boobs (no chance of wearing a dress, at my thinnest my waist was a size 8, but I still needed a 16 top) and a weight probkem from both sides of the family, but I did inherit mums baking skills and artistic talent, nans light hand with pastry and sewing skills and grandads mind. Rough with the smooth.

I was told by my doc that it's abdominal /pelvic trauma that causes incontinence in ladies as they age. Child free women are less likely to get it, since childbirth is a heck of a stressful thing on a womans body, that isn't to say all women with kids will get it, some women just come out the other side in more of one piece than others.

Though I haven't had kids, not sure how I'll be long term. The last time a surgeon viewed my insides, he was a bit surprised at the mess in there! Fortunately I'm "reserve mum" to a friends kids, I can see how wonderfully rewarding being a mum is, but also how it's the most difficult job going.

moneyistooshorttomention

One quick google later of "abdominal pelvic trauma" and up came, for instance:

https://www.ak.cuhk/edu.hk/web8/abdominal_and_pelvic_injury.htm

and the causes they mention there are gunshots, stab wounds and car crashes (ie seat belts I gather saving your top half at the expense of your bottom half).

Now Mona - is there something you're not telling us here? ie about a "past life" as a gangsters moll?:rotfl: