Moving In With Girlfriend

Melon91

My personal view is pay what you can afford/comfortable with... especially if moving in saves you rent money, you should contribute towards something. Half of mortgage, or what you would have had to pay in rent.

Bills - half and half, unless there is a clear uneven distribution of usage/wanting extras - and then it's discussion time!

eskimo26

Guest101 wrote: »

She's crazy!

If you pay half the mortgage, you gain a claim on the property. An actualy legal claim to have money, and possibly force a sale - if things dont work out.

Sounds good to me, make sure you have a paper trail OP.

Jojo6789

Hi All

I'm jumping on this thread (first time ever posting so be nice to me!) because it's relevant to my situation so I'm sharing in the hope that it's ueeful to the original poster and also to see if anyone has any thoughts on how we have approached this situation that may help us.

I have two flats, both with mortgages. One I rent out, the other my OH and I live in. He moved in with me. I owned both flats prior to our relationship. We are getting married soon. I earn significantly more than he does - double in fact. This doesn't bother me. For the past year living together, we have both been receiving our salaries into our own individual bank accounts, and have both set up a monthly standing order into a separate account in my name, which is used for paying household bills including mortgages, as well as saving for the wedding. I put in £1000 more than he does each month and unofficially my contribution is for household and his is for the wedding. By keeping these funds together we benefit from a higher interest rate. However after the wedding we will set up a new joint bank account. He will pay via a new standing orderinto the new account which will be for savings, and I will contribute where I can. I will continue to maintain my existing standing order to the household account and pay our bills through that - mortgages, gas electric council tax etc as they are my flats and I want to protect them just in case. We have both signed an agreement that we drafted (so not sure how legally binding it would be, but it shows intent at least) to that effect that also say if we break up, he will gets the savings account as it's basically his savings, and I keep my property as I paid for them.

Hope that helps and all thoughts, suggestions and feedback welcome!

duchy

After the first five years of marriage all property becomes joint marital assets and if you divorce he'd be likely to be able to take 50% of all the marital assets .

If you don't want this perhaps marriage isn't the greatest of ideas.

tgroom57

Going back to the original post, I'd say pay what she suggests -even though you would like to contribute more. Following her suggestion gives her instant kudos for managing money, whereas trying to change this arrangement (in any way) says she's made a poor choice.

I've taken on board what you said about the saving on your accommodation costs (rent) - she will also be saving on her accommodation costs.

There will be plenty of opportunity to buy new appliances etc. And a lot further down the line, if you have children there will be many years when your contribution will be more!
Good luck.

StuC75

I agree with this in regards to the comments made by Jojo6789, that once the marriage moves outside of the short marriage timescale, that the properties become joint assets, especially with one being the Marital Home.

duchy wrote: »

After the first five years of marriage all property becomes joint marital assets and if you divorce he'd be likely to be able to take 50% of all the marital assets .

If you don't want this perhaps marriage isn't the greatest of ideas.

BarginBetty79

Talking from experience I would suggest that what ever you decide to do, make sure you get it down in writing.

Many moons ago when I was young and madly in love I moved out of my rented flat and into my (ex) partners house, paid half his mortgage, half towards the bills and improvements for the property even though I earned a lot less than him. At the time I thought doing everything 50:50 was the fairest way of paying expenses.

That was until he decided the relationship wasnt working and he wanted me to move out as he was going to sell the house. I ended up with no money and renting a room at my sisters. After taking some advice from friends I contacted a solicitor to see if I could get back some of my expenses after he made a nice profit and was told I wasnt entitled to anything.

So the moral of my story is make sure you cover yourself for every eventuality!

StuC75

How many moons ago, since in recent times people can stake a claim, if they are able to afford the cost and effort to pursue such a claim.

Having a stake in the property can be fantastic when times are good and there is equity to be made in the sale or remortgage;

Yet a short look through the posts on MSE will also show other issues that people have had when the house is in negative equity or was in time repossessed; and being pursued for shortfall..

In this case the OP is quite sensible and sensitive in what expectations may be, and already recognises that what would then be paying is less than what he's been paying on rent(some may say wasting); so isn't in anyway out of pocket from this experience..

save the thoughts of mortgages and splits of equity for when married, since mortgages can be a harder task to deal with in terms of 'seperations' with the financial liability involved.....

BarginBetty79 wrote: »

Talking from experience I would suggest that what ever you decide to do, make sure you get it down in writing.

Many moons ago when I was young and madly in love I moved out of my rented flat and into my (ex) partners house, paid half his mortgage, half towards the bills and improvements for the property even though I earned a lot less than him. At the time I thought doing everything 50:50 was the fairest way of paying expenses.

That was until he decided the relationship wasnt working and he wanted me to move out as he was going to sell the house. I ended up with no money and renting a room at my sisters. After taking some advice from friends I contacted a solicitor to see if I could get back some of my expenses after he made a nice profit and was told I wasnt entitled to anything.

So the moral of my story is make sure you cover yourself for every eventuality!

Medway_Gal

Make sure you get things sorted sooner rather than later. My BF moved in 17 years ago and he still is not contributing to anything other than bills (ie no payments towards my large mortgage), and doesn't see why he should.


On the one hand yes, it's my house and I am earning equity in my house, on the other-hand if he lives with me for ever, and we never move, he has then got a free roof over his head for life!


How is that fair?


If I didn't love the !!!!!! so much, I'd kick him out, but I do, so I can't.

Mojisola

Medway_Gal wrote: »

If I didn't love the !!!!!! so much, I'd kick him out, but I do, so I can't.

If he loved you, he'd be offering to pay a contribution.