Moving In With Girlfriend

Marisco

Good god, does everyone go into relationships now with one eye on what happens when you break up? How sad

StuC75

Pay something that the OP and his partner feel is fair.

Something that is between half of what paying for rent and half of what the mortgage is (depending on the amounts in question) - half mortgage may be less than half what the rent originally was..

That way the OP is saving on there own living costs (half rent instead of full rent), and the OP's Partner saves as isn't paying the full mortgage...

The OP's partner would be safer having this money paid into a separate account until such a time that the marry or buy together..

That way its not construed as the OP paying the mortgage - so stakes a claim (which I think they were implying early on wasn't there intention)..

That gives a win-win situation early on in terms of both saving on there expenditure..

Other bills to be split 50/50 accordingly - some of this needs tailoring based on where the higher living costs are and how in tune earnings are.. How long the OP has been with partner..

Longer term 'consideration' is then what should happen re upkeep\ property maintenance, how they have a say in what decoration etc..

Fencer

StuC75 wrote: »

Pay something that the OP and his partner feel is fair.

Something that is between half of what paying for rent and half of what the mortgage is (depending on the amounts in question) - half mortgage may be less than half what the rent originally was..

Her full mortgage would actually be less than my current rent, so whatever happens I will be saving money. Rent really is overpriced here.

StuC75

its worth having eyes wide open to what is unfortunately a possibility in life..

So why not actually give some thought to how this would be handed while matters are amicable.

When it goes sour such a situation beyond the emotional turmoil of moving out, it can also be a very costly financial experience as people push for what they may be (rightly or wrongly) entitled to.

Just look at how many posts on here echo the losing of a house, partner refusing to leave, kids involved and the Man being left paying Mortgage whilst ex refuses to moves out \ claims domestic abuse or moves in new partner..

Back to the OP, pay something like half, save the rest for a rainy day.. Then use that money as\when youre married / for holidays / to then buy a property together in years to come.. Worse case you then have some money to put deposit on your own place...

Marisco wrote: »

Good god, does everyone go into relationships now with one eye on what happens when you break up? How sad

Guest101

My point is really simple though. If you rent you get security. The house/ flat/ whatever is yours. You own the lease. no-one can just kick you out. The OP here is paying towards the home and at any moment the GF could just chuck him out and he's homeless. So yes you pay a premium to rent, but you get more rights than you do like this.

StuC75

Fencer wrote: »

Her full mortgage would actually be less than my current rent, so whatever happens I will be saving money. Rent really is overpriced here.

In which case offer\discuss paying half the mortgage (with no ties implied).. Discuss how you might want to buy something together in years to come? and so should some of the rest be saved for that..

Do you envisage buying on together?, marriage \ children...would it be advisable to have money saved away for those scenarios, so that it would be a joint contribution..

how sensible are you both with money - would paying her mortgage mean that She would just have more to go out shoe shopping with (tongue in cheek ...)..

End of the day discuss it with the Girlfriend, see what her thoughts are, don't be all gung-ho, and don't be a sponger.. its about finding what works.

What happens when you go out together at present? Do you both pay or is more expected?? That could prove a good insight into what would be the starting point..

As for Guest101 observation on not having security in this position - building up good savings would be just as good as having a stake in the property - its easier to access and wouldn't be impacted by negative equity say..

BoJangles_2

I don't see the big issue. On one hand the person owning the property is saving a little by charging some rent and on the other hand the person moving in and paying some rent is saving a little by not paying as much rent as when they were renting.

It certainly isn't fair that somebody should not pay any living costs...except a little leccy or gas!

onlyroz

What are your plans for the future? Do you envisage marriage and babies? Do you think that you might want to buy a larger place together in a few years?

I'd suggest that until you are 100% certain that this relationship is "forever" you should pay half the bills and also put an amount equivalent to half the mortgate payment into a separate account. If in the future you get married (or your partner decides she is happy for you to have a legal stake in the property) then you could either use this money to pay off a chunk of the mortgage or you could put it towards a bigger house. If it turns out that this relationship is not to be then you can leave without staking any claim to your partner's house and will hopefully have made a start on a deposit for your own place.

Marisco

StuC75 wrote: »

its worth having eyes wide open to what is unfortunately a possibility in life..

So why not actually give some thought to how this would be handed while matters are amicable.

When it goes sour such a situation beyond the emotional turmoil of moving out, it can also be a very costly financial experience as people push for what they may be (rightly or wrongly) entitled to.

Just look at how many posts on here echo the losing of a house, partner refusing to leave, kids involved and the Man being left paying Mortgage whilst ex refuses to moves out \ claims domestic abuse or moves in new partner..

Back to the OP, pay something like half, save the rest for a rainy day.. Then use that money as\when youre married / for holidays / to then buy a property together in years to come.. Worse case you then have some money to put deposit on your own place...

Oh I know why it's done, I was just commenting on how sad it is that this seems to be the first thing people think of. If we take the op's situation, just reading it here, it seems to me that the op will be no different to a lodger, paying "rent" and half of the bills.

To me (and yes I'm old school, pot in the middle and everything out of it, none of this he paid/she paid malarky! ) it seems to give the op no stake in the future. Does it matter if the op ends up paying for some of the mortgage? Isn't the object of the excersize to flog the girlfriends' flat and buy something together jointly? The way it is now it just sounds like a transient relationship, with more emphasis on "what if we break up" rather than a long term committed relationship.

If it's a short term thing why move in at all? I think sometimes these days, some people just overthink everything, there comes a time when you just have to go for it, take a punt, and to hell with the consequences.

onlyroz

Marisco wrote: »

To me (and yes I'm old school, pot in the middle and everything out of it, none of this he paid/she paid malarky! ) it seems to give the op no stake in the future. Does it matter if the op ends up paying for some of the mortgage? Isn't the object of the excersize to flog the girlfriends' flat and buy something together jointly? The way it is now it just sounds like a transient relationship, with more emphasis on "what if we break up" rather than a long term committed relationship.

I think a relationship *is* transient until you've made a definite permanent commitment like either marriage or jointly owning a property where both parties have their name on the deeds. Until you've reached that stage there is no harm in being a little cautious.