Moving In With Girlfriend

fivetide

Mojisola wrote: »

For a relationship to work you have to be prepared to talk about things and to compromise.

Amen to that. The lost art of conversation.


We don't know how long the OP and his OH have been dating. It could be a whirlwind romance or it could be a serious future together. The second makes everything a lot less risky as you would generally like to think:


a. they will be buying their own place together in the future
b. she isn't going to chuck his stuff in the street over who ate the last Digestive

Worry_Wart

This is how we do it.

My boyfriend pays £300 a month into my savings account - this is a bit less than the going rate for renting a room in this neck of the woods. I also pay at least £300 a month into this account. All bills come out from there. If we split up, and he wants a stake/some cash back, then I can just go through this account and tot up all he's contributed, minus half the bills, and then give him this cash, as it's just sitting there.

I pay for all house repairs. I also do most of them (or get a professional in), but he does help out sometimes. I buy everything for the house (furniture etc). If we split up he takes nothing except what he moved in with.

I doubt we'll ever move to a bigger house as this is big enough, and I doubt I'll ever add him to the mortgage as he earns a lot less than me and doesn't have a great credit file. I'll probably have paid the mortgage off before he starts earning decent money, if ever, as he is happy pottering along earning a pittance doing something he enjoys.

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Fencer wrote: »

So I think this thread has gone way beyond what I was expecting. The arrangement as I see it will be beneficial on both sides. I will be paying vastly less per month than I currently am at the moment while paying for rent.

I know it's realistic to think about what would happen if we were to split up, so I appreciate the time you have all taken to discuss this (and it's opened my eyes to things I hadn't even considered), but in all honesty - I would walk away knowing that I have saved cash. I'd never try to take a claim on the property that she took time and effort to get a deposit for, having not bothered doing the same.

In an ideal world, I'd have property too. We'd both sell and get something nicer together. I have been less sensible with money over the years though and have landed quite luckily into a situation where we can both contribute to our future together.

Why do you think it shouldn't be cheaper. Its cheaper for her as well. Living as two is always cheaper than living as one.

pickledonionspaceraider

OP I bet you are wishing you never started this thread

Let me start by saying congratulations on your new life about to start

Anything to do with other peoples finances seems to inflame some posters, if they do not like how a complete stranger is sorting their finances. Threads such as these often descend into hysteria

This is an exciting time for you, its a new relationship and you are excited, do you really want to be reading this doom and gloom about your future split up?

For what it is worth, I think you have it spot on, you are paying half, which is fair, and she wins because her bills go down, and you win because your bills go down - then in the future maybe move to somewhere that you have both put into. Neither of you have anything to loose - but everything to gain

Do whatever works for YOU as a couple

Love is a wonderful thing!

onlyroz

Marisco wrote: »

Then why not just be "girlfriend and boyfriend", why move in together if you don't think it will last, saves all the financial rubbish getting in the way. Then when you do feel it's long term, buy/rent something together with both names on it. That way both have a stake in the future, rather than one "owning" and the other paying "rent".

I'm sure that you wouldn't move in together if you didn't think and hope that it would last. However, in the modern age I think moving in together is the step before sharing all finances and property.

Fencer

StuC75 wrote: »

Also they may be already spending time at each others places, so its a natural evolution.Granted its not the most romantic , but its a hell of a perk.

We spend every night together as it is, it's just that some of my stuff is at her place and some of her stuff is at my place and some of my stuff seems to always be at the wrong place when I need it.

Guest101

Fencer wrote: »

We spend every night together as it is, it's just that some of my stuff is at her place and some of her stuff is at my place and some of my stuff seems to always be at the wrong place when I need it.

Tell me about it.... Playstations are a !!!!!! to carry around

King_Nothing

If it was me personally, I'd offer to pay half the mortgage and half the bills. I wouldn't go back retrospectively, and pay extra because they stumped up the deposit, or have been paying the mortgage already for "X" amount of time, I mean you wouldn't go back and retrospectively pay for half their groceries, and bills from a time when you weren't living there, so why would you do it for the house itself?

StuC75

Been in that position myself.. Hope theres enough wardrobe and bathroom storage space - now that will be the real confrontation point :-).. Seriously though good luck, its something that you will both benefit from, both in terms of the relationship and financially too..

Fencer wrote: »

We spend every night together as it is, it's just that some of my stuff is at her place and some of her stuff is at my place and some of my stuff seems to always be at the wrong place when I need it.

Fencer

StuC75 wrote: »

Been in that position myself.. Hope theres enough wardrobe and bathroom storage space - now that will be the real confrontation point :-).. Seriously though good luck, its something that you will both benefit from, both in terms of the relationship and financially too..

Thank you

It will make life much easier too. As I said, we spend each night together anyway, it just means we won't be swapping houses. At the moment we take night about to cook and the amount of times we are bringing food from one house to the next is unreal! lol