Has your child attended Catholic school when not Catholic?

Jagraf

onomatopoeia99 wrote: »

I can't give you the experience of a parent, but I can give you one of the child.

I'm an atheist and attended a Catholic school from age 4-12. My parents aren't Catholic but they didn't want to send me to the local secular school, so I was baptised (being baptised a catholic was required for admittance, mine was done just before the start of the first school year) then had first communion and confirmation as those were part of school lessons and again required, and Mum used to take us to church on Sunday as the school expected it (you got a priest round your hose asking questions if you missed it too often).

Everyone that attended that school took catholic mass in the school hall or sometimes the affilliated local church, apart from two girls who were Polish catholic rather than Roman catholic. There was an hour of RI (not RE, it was instruction, not education) every day.

Do not force this on your child, unless you want them to resent you for it for the rest of your life. Yes, I mean that. It is something I still feel strongly about, more than 30 years later.

I think its changed a lot since then. This sounds like my c of e school 30 years ago too. My daughters experience is unrecognisable compared to yours or mine.

Also I think parents make better decisions nowadays, they are not so scared of holy people!

olgadapolga

As a non-Catholic (non-anything after my daughter's experience at a Catholic school) I would say DO NOT SEND YOUR CHILD TO A CATHOLIC SCHOOL.

My CoE daughter went to a Catholic School - the best school in the area at the time. It was a dreadful experience. After a term and a half we removed her from the school because of the abuse she suffered (mental and physical) at the hands of the staff, abuse that we were totally unaware of because she was told by the school not to tell us!

Now, it may be that it was just particular school but after speaking to my mum who also went to a Catholic School, albeit 50 years prior) and had similar experiences, I would have to make the judgement that it is all of their schools. My mum told me that I would regret sending my daughter to a Catholic school and I really wish that I'd taken her advice; that decision was the one I have regretted the most of all the bad decisions I have made during my life.

The school placed extremely heavy emphasis on the religious aspects, more so than on the basic education. Praying multiple times a day and more religious instruction than anything else. Children weren't allowed to be children. They strongly believed in humiliation tactics with all ages of children (my daughter was four). Friends weren't allowed to sit next to one another. Lessons were not interactive, the children weren't allowed to speak at all (even to the teachers). They were punished for every minor transgression.

My daughter was so keen to go to school and learn and they put her off totally. Not only that, my daughter left there 10 years ago and is still suffering the effects of the emotional abuse from that school.

We did complain to the school, got nowhere. Complained to the Governors, they closed ranks. Complained to the LEA, they told us that it was a matter for the school to deal with. We got nowhere until I wrote to the local diocese then the apologies flooded in but it was way too late. Hopefully some good will have come of it, if only for the poor children still there.

They also liked to ask for money, and lots of it! Every week a letter was sent home, expecting "donations" (allegedly voluntary!). The "building fund" was the worst, £50 per child per term was requested. I suspect it was so that they would maintain that the actual education was "free", they were just asking for donations for the building maintenance.

Please don't send your child to a Catholic school. I did, and it was the biggest mistake I ever made and one that I will regret forever. They did terrible, irreversible damage to my beautiful, beautiful child

j.e.j.

Octobergirl wrote: »

Has / does anyone send their child to a Catholic school when they are non-practising? Has this caused any difficulties or issues? I'm concerned about the seeming lack of moral guidance at my child's school, it seems to be academically outstanding at the expense of any emphasis on social or emotional nurturing.

We have a catholic school well regarded with spaces at the end of our street. I shall be making an appointment to visit, but wondered if any non-Catholics had any experience?

I used to go to a Catholic school, and many of the teachers were nuns. However, most of the kids who attended were not actually catholics! So I suppose it would depend on whether your child is going to be the only non-catholic among a majority of catholics, or if the school have a lot of non-catholics attending.

Fwiw, yes faith schools do tend to be better than your average run of the mill state school.

j.e.j.

olgadapolga wrote: »

As a non-Catholic (non-anything after my daughter's experience at a Catholic school) I would say DO NOT SEND YOUR CHILD TO A CATHOLIC SCHOOL.

My CoE daughter went to a Catholic School - the best school in the area at the time. It was a dreadful experience. After a term and a half we removed her from the school because of the abuse she suffered (mental and physical) at the hands of the staff, abuse that we were totally unaware of because she was told by the school not to tell us!

Now, it may be that it was just particular school but after speaking to my mum who also went to a Catholic School, albeit 50 years prior) and had similar experiences, I would have to make the judgement that it is all of their schools. My mum told me that I would regret sending my daughter to a Catholic school and I really wish that I'd taken her advice; that decision was the one I have regretted the most of all the bad decisions I have made during my life.

The school placed extremely heavy emphasis on the religious aspects, more so than on the basic education. Praying multiple times a day and more religious instruction than anything else. Children weren't allowed to be children. They strongly believed in humiliation tactics with all ages of children (my daughter was four). Friends weren't allowed to sit next to one another. Lessons were not interactive, the children weren't allowed to speak at all (even to the teachers). They were punished for every minor transgression.

My daughter was so keen to go to school and learn and they put her off totally. Not only that, my daughter left there 10 years ago and is still suffering the effects of the emotional abuse from that school.

We did complain to the school, got nowhere. Complained to the Governors, they closed ranks. Complained to the LEA, they told us that it was a matter for the school to deal with. We got nowhere until I wrote to the local diocese then the apologies flooded in but it was way too late. Hopefully some good will have come of it, if only for the poor children still there.

They also liked to ask for money, and lots of it! Every week a letter was sent home, expecting "donations" (allegedly voluntary!). The "building fund" was the worst, £50 per child per term was requested. I suspect it was so that they would maintain that the actual education was "free", they were just asking for donations for the building maintenance.

Please don't send your child to a Catholic school. I did, and it was the biggest mistake I ever made and one that I will regret forever. They did terrible, irreversible damage to my beautiful, beautiful child

Oh, please!!

No, not all religious schools are like that, OP. Be it Jewish, Muslim, Catholic or whatever. If you're in any doubt, maybe try talking with the parents of the children of the school you're thinking of attending (or even former pupils!). You get good schools and bad schools. Catholic schools are no exception.

tooldle

I went to a catholic school from the age of 11 through to 16. I am not catholic. Yes we did have to attend mass (in school time) usually once a week or so. Overall was it good. Yes, I loved it. Wether you believe or not, I feel the structure offered by an organized religion teaches a lot. The best way to describe it in my opinion is that the code of conduct was very clear to all pupils.
Pupils who practiced other religions did not have to attend mass.

Jagraf

I have to say religion didn't really come into it when we chose a school. We went to see the school and based our decision on whether we liked it or not. I feel no threat of religious or non-religious environments at all.

It's a bit like asking if you will get struck down by the gods if you visit a church :eek:

Everyone will have different opinions based on their experience of school. If you asked whether someone liked their PE lessons, or their local butcher, you will have the same mixed responses.

Octobergirl

Thanks for all your replies. I'm totally hAppy for him to attend mass, prayers etc and make his own mind up. I was concerned with the possibility of him being ostracised or not being allowed to join in lessons, but as has been pointed out, this may happen in any school. Thanks, you've given me lots to ponder over. X

FBaby

You need to go and see the school to get a proper idea. Our local catholic secondary school is just a good school above all and as a result many 'supposed' catholic go and attend, ie. those who suddenlt remember they believe in the faith in year 6! Kids who only started going to church in year 6 and promptly gave it up by Christmas in year 7 are doing just fine, probably because there are a few of them and it is accepted.

However, my friend had a different experience of her daughter starting at her local catholic school. She wasn't practicing, but was keen on her child going there as she has learning difficulties and needed the structure she thought that school was more equipped to provide. However, she got in because of her priority as a child with special needs, and after only one term starting doubting her choice. She felt that there was more preaching than she had been told when speaking with the Headteacher and more pressure to adhere to very strict rules.

Her child stayed one year, but my friend saw her child self-esteem and confidence going down during that time and made the hard decision to take them out and moving them to the other local school. They have been there for 3 years now and is thriving.

tyllwyd

A friend of my daughter from nursery went to Catholic primary as a non-Catholic. One comment her mother made was that she did find it more difficult to make friends because a lot of the children already knew each other from church.

AmyTurtle

My brother went to a Catholic comprehensive and had no issues at all except that he didn't take communion in the chapel.