Has your child attended Catholic school when not Catholic?

Octobergirl

Has / does anyone send their child to a Catholic school when they are non-practising? Has this caused any difficulties or issues? I'm concerned about the seeming lack of moral guidance at my child's school, it seems to be academically outstanding at the expense of any emphasis on social or emotional nurturing.

We have a catholic school well regarded with spaces at the end of our street. I shall be making an appointment to visit, but wondered if any non-Catholics had any experience?

browneyedbazzi

I'm an atheist and attended a Catholic school for a few years in my early teens.

I often felt out of place because I didn't participate in religious services or pray with other students. There were also a number of occasions where I was treated differently by teachers because I wasn't Catholic - including comments being made in front of the whole class about how terrible non believers are and that they can't be trusted etc. They seemed to feel that morality only comes from religion and so non-religious people were bad people. Not a nice thing to be told in front of your classmates at 14!

Also, there was a lot more promiscuity at the Catholic school I went to than the non-religious school I attended after leaving so I'm not convinced that religious schools are necessarily better at instilling values!

atolaas

I currently volunteer at a Catholic primary school. 50% of the children that attend aren't Catholic. Have you spoken to any of the parents who send their children to the Catholic school near you? The prospectus should outline the aims and values that they hope to instil in their children...do they mirror your own values? Good luck x

rubytuesday

Yes my daughter went to a Catholic School but she is an atheist.

It was the best school in the area at the time (although it ended up in special measures by the time she left!) and also the most local to us.

She did extremely well and was often called upon to deliver speeches in assembly, represent the school in various areas etc.

Her views were accepted as valid in Philosophy and Ethics which she studied and she has now gone on to study Philosophy (which is her passion) and Politics at university.

onomatopoeia99

I can't give you the experience of a parent, but I can give you one of the child.

I'm an atheist and attended a Catholic school from age 4-12. My parents aren't Catholic but they didn't want to send me to the local secular school, so I was baptised (being baptised a catholic was required for admittance, mine was done just before the start of the first school year) then had first communion and confirmation as those were part of school lessons and again required, and Mum used to take us to church on Sunday as the school expected it (you got a priest round your hose asking questions if you missed it too often).

Everyone that attended that school took catholic mass in the school hall or sometimes the affilliated local church, apart from two girls who were Polish catholic rather than Roman catholic. There was an hour of RI (not RE, it was instruction, not education) every day.

Do not force this on your child, unless you want them to resent you for it for the rest of your life. Yes, I mean that. It is something I still feel strongly about, more than 30 years later.

rubytuesday

Catholic Schools are supposed to take a percentage of non Catholics so no need to force anyone into anything.

My daughter's school were informed we were not Catholic when we applied - no converting and going to church etc.

lostinrates

I went to a catholic school with a lot of non catholic kids, though it was fee paying. When it came to conformation I had decided this was not for me ( only one me bet of my family is catholic) and had a long talk to the priest who was talking to those of us who might be confirmed. I told him how I felt and never has a choice been so supported. He reminded me I could change my mind and we spoke about morality in other faiths, denominations, agnostic life and aetheism and he urged me to make good, moral choices.

There were less positive experiences at times, but I thing they could have appeared in secular schools with other 'excuse'. I'm certainly not angry about time wasted in mass etc. music and something to think a about, even when I didn't agree, did me no harm. I did some pretty hefty rebelling in religion lessons. But.....this taught me something to, I learnt to rebell within the rules and playing the game.

Hedgehog99

You can give moral guidance at home if you are otherwise happy with the academic standard of the school. Whatever issues concern you, they're out there in the big wide world. Better that your daughter sees them and can discuss them openly with you to form her own opinion and a resilient inner strength of character so that she won't necessarily feel the need to follow the herd.

Savvy_Sue

Yes, DS1 went to a Catholic junior school and did year 7 in the Catholic secondary school. At the end of that time I was frankly astonished at how little Catholicism he'd picked up ...

Hedgehog99 wrote: »

You can give moral guidance at home if you are otherwise happy with the academic standard of the school. Whatever issues concern you, they're out there in the big wide world. Better that your daughter sees them and can discuss them openly with you to form her own opinion and a resilient inner strength of character so that she won't necessarily feel the need to follow the herd.

Now THAT is all very true. DS1 (and his brothers) then went on to a CofE secondary school, which seemed far more certain about its beliefs. And the parents too ... some were shocked to find there were children drinking / smoking / using drugs attending the school - hello, didn't anyone ever tell you that secondary schools are full of teenagers, and teenagers like to rebel, even if they were brought up by Christian parents and were going to church every week?

Then, there were plans to open the sixth form to a far larger number of students. So they were going to have to relax the admission criteria and admit children who had NOT been brought up to go to church every week. Oh the worry among some parents: their little darlings were going to be mixing with children from non-Christian families! However would they cope?

My view was that yes, my children were going to be mixing with a more diverse range of children in sixth form, but wouldn't that happen at University anyway? And when would I prefer that to start, while I could still have some influence, or when I was NOT seeing my little darlings every day?

Please note I'm not doubting the faith of the parents, but I don't think (in fact I KNOW) that children don't always have the same beliefs as their parents, and nor should they. We should ALL think for ourselves and make our own decisions rather than believe what we're told.

kingfisherblue

My two sons went to the local Catholic primary school. I chose it because my older son has special needs, and having visited several nurseries, they were the one that was most welcoming. Both my boys had been christened CofE, so although being christened was a requirement, it wasn't a problem for us.


Neither son was pressured in to taking their First Communion, although I was asked if I wanted them to. I declined, but wasn't made to feel bad about it. Both attended Mass when it was during school time, and a few times we attended the special Mass for carols for the children on Christmas Eve. They didn't attend church on Sundays and were not required to, although I think we would have been welcomed.


My older son went to a special school at age 11, but my younger son went to the local Catholic primary school. It's ok, not great, but better than the other local secondary school. It's smaller (about 800 kids, compared to 1200 in the other school). He is now in Year 10 and although there was a problem with bullying in Y7 and Y8, that has been sorted out.


He is treated no differently than any other pupil. He isn't fed Catholicism constantly. He learns about other religions and discusses them with his class. My son has now made up his own mind - he doesn't believe in God as Christianity describes it. However, he is wavering over believing in something.


I have no regrets sending my child to a Catholic school. Sometimes it can be a bad choice, but we have had no pressure about converting.

Jagraf

My daughter is in year 11 and has been at a catholic school all of her life. She is agnostic. I am C of E and her Dad is atheist. Her grandparents are Methodist. She helps out at C of E Sunday school.

I went to a very high C of E school years ago and I hated it, so from my perspective I seemed to have the same issues as some who went to catholic schools, so I guess it's hit and miss across all religions.

They call it mass instead of assembly and she can go to church if she wants to. The RE follows the curriculum.

I have never, once, had a problem and she certainly doesn't have an issue with it. She has had a great learning experience and hopefully enough insight into different faiths to equip her with making her own decisions.