Can u ever afford children?! Help please

[Deleted User]

Hello

Sorry if this sort of question has been posted before (this is my first post... I have been lurking tho!!)...

My DH and I have been thinking about trying for a baby for some time, I know buying/borrowing all the equipment that you "need" won't cost that much - Its the cost of living and lack of wages for a bit that we're thinking of. I know you can get SMP... Has anyone else been in this situation? Does anyone have any tips/advice of ways to "find the money??".

Like I said before, sorry if this has been answered, I did have a look through the posts, but couldn't see anything. People who I've spoken to have said that you can never really afford it you just make do - Is this the case??

Hope to have some advice soon! Thanks

LilMissEmmylou

you always find the money for the things you need if you ask me I was in uni when i found out i was pg and had to move from england back to N.ireland and sort myself out for miss Annabelle Its all worked out alright in the end despite the fact had you asked me before i found out i was pg could i afford a baby id have said no. People worry too much about the money side of babies, i say where there is a will there is a way

Elle00

Yep, you really do just find a way. I'm a single Mum on a low income and god only knows how but I just sort of always find the money from somewhere. I'm never in debt, usually have a hundred pounds to spare somewhere in my budget even!

If you sucessfully breastfeed you won't need to buy milk and your £18.10 a week child benefit will cover the cost of nappies, wipes and bags.

If you already have a home then there'll be little extra cost there and all the essential baby services are free (clinic, NCT coffee mornings, library rhyme times etc).

Clothing is very cheap from Asda and Tesco and it doesn't matter that the quality isn't "premium" because the stuff washes and wears for as long as it fits!

If you're interested in the cost of baby equipment at any time, I wrote the following article ages ago for a review website: http://www.ciao.co.uk/Member_Advice_on_Preparing_for_your_Baby_s_Arrival__Review_5622376 It'll tell you all about what freebies you can get and what I think you really need.

If one of you decides to stay at home with the baby in the early months or years then you should find the working partner can get working tax credits if you're on a low income. You may be entitled if you both work but don't earn much too.

Everyone earning less than £66k in the first year or £58k thereafter is entitled to something from Child Tax Credits and it can make a big difference. You can't really work out the calculations before the baby arrives though because for some reason, the tax credits calculations aren't accurate until they're actually processed for real (don't ask).

If you want a baby and are in a happy relationship and stable home then it's the right time.

globalds

I had my children in Japan .And had to pay from the moment they were born .The health insurance covers sickness ..my wife being pregnant wasn't classed as being sick ..So we had to pay....
But to be Honest kids are only as expensive as you can afford ...So rich people spend loads on their kids ..and people with not so much money get other people to spend money on their kids.
The trick is ...Don't worry about the money ...Their are so many things to worry about when having kids ,once you have one ...money will be the last thing on your mind.

Nicki

What do you mean exactly by "can you afford it, or do you just make do"?

Yes, you get SMP and also Child Benefit. You may also get Tax Credits depending on your circumstances. I think its very unlikely that what comes in will compensate you for all of the expenditure of having a child, nor should it IMPO. However, having a child changes your priorities usually, and where once you might have been fine about spending for example £40 in a pub on a Friday night after work, with kids you probably find a better use for this money.

I would therefore say that provided your current salary meets all of your essential outgoings plus a small amount over for luxuries, you can probably afford a child, but once it arrives you will likely find that the child is the luxury item in your life, and the holidays and nights out get scaled down a bit (or a lot!) If your salary doesn't cover your essentials or only just, then you probably can't afford it just yet.

Kimitatsu

Hiya Loopylou

If we all waited until we could "afford" kids then the human race would die out! I read somewhere that it costs an average of £23.50 a day to bring up a child from 0 to 21, that means that my kids cost me over £300 a week! Well I cant afford that but here they are standing in fron of me growing like a weed, eating me out of house and home and looking disgustingly healthy!

Our parents had less money after paying the essentials than we did and we are all here today, a child more than anything needs love affection and a stable home. The latest of everything is not important.

miss_pink

Elle83 :T

I read your review of what you need and dont when having a baby and i think its fabulous.:j Iv printed it our for Mr Pink to read lol. Its got all the essentials on it and some wee ideas where to get freebies. I love it.

Miss Pink xxx

TheWaltons_3

You can always afford children. You will go without for your children and won't care one little bit.

I get up, get my three ready in smart/warm/appropriate clothes, feed them, make sure they are OK.. then chuck on anything I can find in a hurry to start my day.

I don't buy myself Clothes, begrudge paying for my hair to be done, yet I do make sure we have got money to make our home nice and I justify that because it is our home for our family.

I work in the day and work until late some nights, when my children are in bed. They are in full time childcare and we take them out every weekend. They go without nothing.

Can we afford them? Can we hell

sarymclary

There are few people who are so financially secure that they decide to start a family. However, if you and DH are able to cope with your monthly expenditure minus one of your monthly wages, then you should be just fine.

I intended to go back to work after DS1 was born, but I managed it p/t for about 5 months before I was pregnant again and never went back to work. We couldn't afford it, but I couldn't bear to be away from DS1, and he cried all day in the nursery when away from me too. I couldn't cope with collecting a baby who looked like a swollen beetroot due to crying all the time we were separated, and who refused to sleep at the nursery too.

To me the financial costs were the least of my worries, it was the emotional costs that affected me the most. For my poor DH it was the burden of the finances that affected him the most, because he became the main breadwinner, the interest rates rocketed, and we were in awful debt.

You can never be sure of what is round the corner moneywise. My sister had her 2nd child when they thought they were financially secure; got made redundant during her mat leave, and her DH got made redundant a month after 2nd child was born!:eek:

As previous posters have said, you can make all the preparations in the world materially, but the essential thing to a happy family is a stable loving relationship, and a commitment from mum and dad to share the responsibility for any child's upbringing. How you split that responsibility fairly is down to you: I did the main bulk of childcare, my DH provided the £ for the bills, I supported any career move he wanted to make (including working abroad away from us), and he gave me a lie-in every weekend when he could!

Good luck. I'd not trade all the money and financial security in the world for my 4 gorgeous boys!:D

lynzpower

loopy, I compeley know what you mean. For us it isnt the running costs, its the lack of income means we'll not pay the rent.

LilMissEmmylou

oh and save on nappies by using reuseables (had to plug that didnt i lol) and make ur own purees, much cheaper. Its easy to afford a baby really lol