Can u ever afford children?! Help please

Outnumberedbysmallpeople

I guess in a way i was fortunate in that our family started before we had took a step on the property ladder, renting is alot cheaper than mortgages in some areas and we were lucky enough to not have a mortgage to have to worry about.

I know many mortgages offer a "baby break" - i don't know how viable/wise they are but i do know they exist.

The tax credits system can help out, even if it doesn't help with extra cash it can usually help with assistance for childcare costs on returning to work, as can the nursery voucher scheme (would need to talk to your employer about these- again i don't know much about them but i do know they exist)

We have 4 kids and in terms of daily expenses children cost what you allow them to cost- my kids could all cost several times more if i saw clothes from next and gap as a necessary, they could cost alot more if we didn't accept hand me downs for the younger 2, they could cost alot more if we felt a fee paying school was essential- it's all relative. As it is they are perfectly happy in tesco clothes, at state schools and waiting for birthdays/christmas for big toys.

I'm quite an earthy mother which makes parenting a newborn alot cheaper- we don't use a pram we baby wear (easier with 3 others to keep up with too!) I breastfeed so again around £5-£10 saved a week there in not needing formula.

I do appreciate though the cost of being able to afford a child isn't actually can you afford a child it's can you stay afloat with the loss of one income after having committed to debts & out goings based on an income of 2, in theory most people can stay afloat on one income provided they haven't already committed to debts etc based on the dual income.

I also agree with the PP who pointed out about priorities changing saving more money than you realise- gym memberships, evenings out, beauty treatments, lunch with friends, eating out all can be sacrificed to free up cash.

WestonDave

The big stumbling block is housing costs. Too many people have ended up with mortgages (or rents) that take up so much of their combined incomes that they couldn't manage without one. This is compounded by the fact that in order for the second earner to go back to work will cost often as much in nursery fees as they bring home in net wages. There is little that can be done about that short of changing careers or moving house.

If you can overcome that basic issue then if you are prepared to do whatever it takes then yes you can afford it. I should point out that kids have a remarkable talent for stripping you of any pride and style that you thought you had! All over the country previously sensible senior managers are crawling round the floor making "wibble" noises at their offspring, or playing horsey etc because they know its easier that way than coping with a bored/tired/ill little one! Once you get to that level its no big step to buying your shirts in Asda rather than M&S, getting toys and equipment secondhand, and frequenting charity shops!

Basically what they want is your time not expensive stuff so don't make the mistake of working every hour they are awake to be able to afford toys and treats.

[Deleted User]

Thanks to everyone who's posted.

It has made me think.... maybe we'll save a bit more money, wait a few more months and then see what the situation is then, DH is due a pay review soon, so you never know.....

I think the main thing is the mortgage, but I know that we'll just have to do what it takes if it means taking on extra jobs for money.. I'm sure we'll cope.

I do think this site could get very addictive tho!! I have learnt alot already.

black-saturn

Theres never a right time to have a baby. Whatever situation you are in you will always cope.

Ebay is a good source of cheap baby stuff.

Yorkshirechick

I'm 17 weeks pregnant with my first baby and we're worrying about how we're going to afford it, but I'm sure we'll find a way.
My partner and I both earn a good wage, but as we didn't plan to have a baby so soon, we've only just moved to a 4 bed detached house. We can pay all our bills comfortably at the moment and have spare money to go on holidays, but will take a big drop in money once the baby arrives.
I'll lose around £1200 a month for 6 months while I'm on maternity leave, and then if I go back to work 3 days a week, I'll lose around another £600 a month plue have to pay nursery fees for 3 days of around £300/400 a month.
I'm lucky in that both my partner and I can work from home a few days a week. BUT we'll just have to cope and do the best we can.I'm sure we can come to some kind of arrangement with work around flexible working.

If the worst came to the worst for us, we'd have to move somewhere smaller, or rent. While I really don't want to do that as I love my house, obviously we'll have different priorities once the baby arrives.
Whatever we have to do - we'll manage.