Can you start divorce proceedings early?

brumvixen

I've been advised that unreasonable behaviour is simply changed behaviour so have been advised things like

living apart
sleeping separately
socialising separately

etc etc


doesn't have to be mud slinging

Skint_yet_Again

WIN79 wrote: »

.....
We have been separated for 14 months, however, they didn't leave the country (we were living in the same house but not sharing anything) until April 2014.

OP - it may be too late to use unreasonable behaviour anyway if it is time restricted, so unfortunately you may just have to wait for the 2 years.

I waited 2 years - me and ex split up and he then met someone else. He wanted a divorce so I suggested I file for adultery but he refused and asked me to file on grounds of unreasonable behaviour - I said what unreasonable behaviour should I state as there wasn't any apart from the fact that he was now sleeping with someone else ie adultery !

He didn't want me to state adultery as the grounds as this was not the reason we split up. I didn't want to cause any animosity (as we had a 6 year old and had to keep contact with ex) and so as I was in no rush to get divorced we waited 2 years.

I know its hard to wait when you are eager to get on with it (the divorce) and move on.

peachyprice

WIN79 wrote: »

As they are no longer in the country it will take longer as paperwork will have to to and fro and from past experience my ex is rather, shall we say, slack!!

I think abandonment (ie leaving the country) is good enough grounds for 'unreasonable behaviour!

sax11

You can start proceedings and make up any old rubbish as 'unreasonable behaviour'

my ex wife did it as a way of getting the divorce through quicker (i knew she was writing it)
As long as you know the ex partner will not contest it, it should be fine.

WIN79

Cant use abandonment as we had been split up for 2/3 months before the ex left. The marriage had broken down before the decision to leave came into play and ex would not agree to this anyway.

Think ive just got to suck it up an wait till December.:mad:

CP26

My ex and I split in May 2012 and I didnt start unreasonable behaviour divorce until mid way through 2013. We had no issues with the courts and this delay at all.

I think the 6 month time limit only applies if you're still living together when you apply for the divorce.

We were going to wait for 2 years but I just wanted it over with so got the ball rolling. As others have said you don't need to mud sling. I was really careful with my statements as I didn't want to cause any animosity.

I said things like 'Ex worked opposite hours to me and made little effort to spend time with me. This made me feel lonely.' The statements were pretty bland but hard to argue with as they were fairly subjective.

From what you've said you could say things like.

'Ex said he no longer found me attractive. This made me feel unhappy.'
'Ex did not want to engage in marital relations. This made me feel unwanted.'
'Ex no longer made efforts to spend time with me and spent long hours at work. This made me feel lonely.'

The closing statement is usually along the lines of:
'On X date X, ex left the marital home as our marriage had broken down. We have been living completely separate lives since this date.'

As long as you both agree to the divorce the courts won't pay that much attention to the reasons you've given, particularly if you've obviously parted ways and moved on.

TBagpuss

Skint_yet_Again wrote: »

Wouldn't leaving the country be desertion ?

Interesting article here (yes I know its the Daily mail)

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-8792/Grounds-divorce.html

it suggests there is a time limit involved and the divorce needs to be under way within six months of the last incident of unreasonable behaviour.

No it doesn't. If you are relying on Unreasonable behaviour r adultery then you cannot reconcile for more than six months and then continue with the divorce based on the original allegations of behaviour or adultery, or you are deemed to have 'accepted' them by reconciling.

OP, if either of you has now started a new relationship, it would be possible for the other to start proceedings based on adultery - it is not necessary for the adultery to have been the reason for the marriage breakdown, or for it to have happened before you split up.

In the alternative, either of you could use 'unreasonable behaviour' It does not need to be 'bad' behaviour, it can be a n accumulation of little things, which meant that you *personally* no logner wanted to go on being married.
You cannot simply say that you grew apart, but you can say things like "I felt that he was no longer interested in me which made be feel rejected" or " I felt that she had no interest in our having a physical relationship, and was unwilling to discuss this, making me feel she had no interest in rebuilding our relationship" - although it has to be one of you saying that the other has behaved 'unreasonably' there is no reason why the two of you cannot agree on what will be said, so that it does not cause further problems.

You cannot issue 2 years separation papers early even of you both agree. However, it is possible to be separated but still living in the same house, so if the 14 months is when one of you moved out, you could count any time before that when you were living separately (separate beds etc) under the same roof, provided that you had both concluded that the marriage was over.

Desertion is not an option as you have to have been deserted for a minimum of 2 years, and 'desertion' is defined very closely, an agreed separation does not count.

WIN79

Thank you everyone. I think its best while i am waiting to familiarize myself with all the paperwork needed. Don't really want a solicitor involved and ex wont file, so will be left up to me. We have no assets so to speak of so should be relatively straight forward, although I have read through some papers and it looks rather complicated.

Gloomendoom

It isn't that complicated if it's mutual and you are on speaking terms. You probably won't need a solicitor. We didn't.

I would advise that you get a financial clean break order though.