childminder letting kids play xbox 18+

bigmomma051204

onlyroz wrote: »

I have experience with a wide variety of childcare having used nurseries, childminders and after school and holiday clubs. Regarding childminders, your kids should not be going into the bedrooms. There will be designated areaa of the house the children have to stick to, having been deemed to be safe etc. As for video games, the holiday and after school club we use has a Wii and a PS3 - and they have very strict policies over which games can be played, and that can change depending on the ages of the children attending that day. In General they wont allow a game rated higher than PEGI 7.

I wouldn't necessarily withdraw your kids immediately if you have no other concerns but I'd certainly want assurances that this won't happen again and I'd keep my eyes open for alternatives. Are there any holiday clubs? Around here there is a choice of three, two run in the grounds of local primary schools and one in the sports centre of the secondary school.

I agree with some of your points... If I can just disagree with one point (the one highlighted in red)...

The problem with "assurances that this won't happen again" is that the OP would have to tell the childminder that the situation with the 18+ games was unacceptable. When in fact, the childminder SHOULD know this already. So - if she didn't think THIS particular situation was unacceptable - a 6yr old & 8yr old playing on an 18+ rated video game which includes extreme violence, explicit language & swearing and also scenes of a sexual nature, then what ELSE might she think is acceptable in future? Which OP might never find out about? :cool:

RuthnJasper

singhini wrote: »

I personally don't think you have a leg to stand on.
The children should be with their mother not a child minder!
Why are you not looking after your own children?


does your work come first or your children??

With respect, not everyone is fortunate enough to be able to afford being a stay-at-home parent. The OP did not ask about the status of her childcare arrangements, but about inappropriate "entertainments" being made available whilst under the childminder's care.

She doesn't need a lecture on her life.

bigmomma051204

singhini wrote: »

so who's the best person to look after your kids - you are (and that was the point in my original post. I am the best person to look after my children)

The "best" person to look after child is certainly NOT ALWAYS a parent. This is a REAL bugbear of mine - similarly to how many people say "you're their mum, you know best"... :eek:

The statistic that a large majority of children who are abused or murdered by their parents, is a sad fact but one which I do feel has to be pointed out solely to you!!

bobbybuttons

Thanks for all the replies and your opinions on this. I have just been through all my paper work and i did actually sign a contract but there is nothing in it that states i have to pay to withdraw my children. I only use the childcare through the school holidays as i work school hours. Yes i would be better off looking after them myself at home and would probably be better of money wise as childcare is expensive but i enjoy going to work after having 7 years off to raise my children and feel lucky to have found a job within school hours.
I have to see this lady everyday so its really awkward but my children are my top priority and what my children saw in this game of a sexual nature will always be with them and its such a shame at this age and can't be undone:(

bigmomma051204

bobbybuttons wrote: »

Thanks for all the replies and your opinions on this. I have just been through all my paper work and i did actually sign a contract but there is nothing in it that states i have to pay to withdraw my children. I only use the childcare through the school holidays as i work school hours. Yes i would be better off looking after them myself at home and would probably be better of money wise as childcare is expensive but i enjoy going to work after having 7 years off to raise my children and feel lucky to have found a job within school hours.
I have to see this lady everyday so its really awkward but my children are my top priority and what my children saw in this game of a sexual nature will always be with them and its such a shame at this age and can't be undone:(

So what have you decided to do about the situation, OP?

bobbybuttons

I'm going to see how this meeting goes on Monday with this other childminder, see how i feel about the place , will take the children to see how they get on with her and how she is with them.

bigmomma051204

bobbybuttons wrote: »

I'm going to see how this meeting goes on Monday with this other childminder, see how i feel about the place , will take the children to see how they get on with her and how she is with them.

And about the childminder who will probably continue to allow (other peoples) young children to play sexually explicit, violence laden games whilst in her care...?

onlyroz

bigmomma051204 wrote: »

I agree with some of your points... If I can just disagree with one point (the one highlighted in red)...

The problem with "assurances that this won't happen again" is that the OP would have to tell the childminder that the situation with the 18+ games was unacceptable. When in fact, the childminder SHOULD know this already. So - if she didn't think THIS particular situation was unacceptable - a 6yr old & 8yr old playing on an 18+ rated video game which includes extreme violence, explicit language & swearing and also scenes of a sexual nature, then what ELSE might she think is acceptable in future? Which OP might never find out about? :cool:

I think that the issue is that the children were allowed unsupervised into a private area of the house for an extended period of time. I'd want to know whether this was normal or a one-off oversight.

Loz01

Madmel wrote: »

I'm a teacher and as a staff we have been warned about the appropriateness of certain video clips on e.g. YouTube. I use YouTube a lot in my lessons because there is some fantastic stuff on there for my subject, but I have to screen everything first before I let the kids watch it. If there is even one 14 year old in the room, I am not allowed to show a 15-rated film unless I have the permission of the parent or guardian. Failure to adhere to this is viewed by my school as gross misconduct.

Sorry OP to hijack the thread but I have a quick question - my niece is 11, in Year 7 and their teacher made them watch The Boy In The Striped Pyjamas because they were learning about the holocaust. Just checked and its a 12 rating, does this mean the school were supposed to contact the parents to check? My niece isn't 12 until June but obv some of her classmates already are. I asked her how it was and she said half the class were in floods of tears lol which isn't surprising.

bigmomma051204

onlyroz wrote: »

I think that the issue is that the children were allowed unsupervised into a private area of the house for an extended period of time. I'd want to know whether this was normal or a one-off oversight.

I disagree. That is NOT the issue. Because if that was the only issue, then it would not be a massive safeguarding concern. A couple of children heading off upstairs when childminders busy with toddlers/babies - with the invitation of the childminders son, is no "Biggie"... Okay, so she might need to have a talk with them and moan that they shouldnt be going into her private home areas, but actually that is more to do with HER privacy, rather than their safety unless there are identified hazards in those areas.

For example - If the OP had discovered that her sons had accompanied the childminder's son into the childminder's bedroom to play Nerf guns, or perhaps to play a game of Match Attax football cards away from the annoying (yes they can be!) toddlers downstairs, would you be saying the same thing? Would, in fact, the OP even have posted about that on here....? I suggest not. It implies that a 6yr old and an 8yr old require direct, constant attention from the childminder, which they don't. They DO require that the childminder checks in with them regularly, ensuring that they are playing appropriately and are safe whilst in her care.

The OP wouldn't suggest,surely, that when at home, she consistantly is aware of every step her children take throughout the house and wouldnt allow them to play in their bedroom, unsupervised, if say a friend came over to play?

Nope - the ONLY issue here is that she has apparently knowingly allowed a 6yr old & 8yr old to play an 18+ rated game which is chock full of explicit language, extreme violence and many scenes of a sexual nature. THAT is the problem. Not that they snuck into her bedroom :cool: