The single track road - life on a different path

MeandO

Ahhhh, sweetheart colleague just brought me a big mug of coffee, full to the brim and said 'you look like you need this'. i thought 'how lovely'.... then I realised that was a round about way of saying I looked like cr&p today! :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

MeandO

Just had a text from the ex to say he's completed on his house.

Happy it's done, but tinged with lots of sadness, more than I anticipated after 14 months of trying to get to this position.
It was never meant to be like this and, with the way we get on so well still, I will always wonder if we should've tried harder. Throughout this, we've both said it would be easier to deal with if one of us had done something wrong to the other, or not been very nice. But that's not the case and I wouldn't want that for DS's sake.

Whoever phrased the term 'rollercoaster of emotions' hit the nail on the head.
Feeling sad.

Anyway, I'm off to choose and buy blinds for his house for him tomorrow.

whilst he's away.

with his money.

at his request.

lol!

liltdiddylilt

Bless your heart I know what you mean about the sadness and what-if's. Think those sorts of feelings should be popped into a box and brought out when you have a bit of time to think it through a few weeks after he has gone. You will feel shocked rigid when he actually goes, even if it is round the corner and he will be back a couple of days later to see son...

I also need more coffee. I start my day at work with 2 giant mugs of coffee side by side on my desk

So so jealous of Iceland and the Northern Lights. My besties little sister went to Norway for 3 weeks... incredible. She even stayed in the ice hotel overnight! Such amazing picture but by goodness it is cold. It is on my bucket list too!!

I had something else to say but I've forgotten. I'll be back xx

Aha. It was about joint life insurance. That isn't a good idea. Basically because it will only pay out once. So if something happened to ex, and his house was paid off, the policy would be null and void for you. This could happen in 10 years time, when some illness has happened which makes you a worse candidate for cover and therefore your premiums would rocket as you would have to get a new policy. Think it through. I had a joint cover, and then worked for an IFA and was told I was silly.. and that the original IFA who set it up was a crook. And it turned out he was too.. Hope you don't mind me popping that little nugget in there anyway. It is your decision at the end of the day. But I was told to get single cover on a house we both owned, let alone two separate houses xx

MeandO

You must be psychic (or were you hiding behind my sofa?!?:D), because we talked about the life insurance last night and the same thing dawned on us. I've been looking at single ones today and it is actually no more expensive, so that's what we now plan to do. Thanks Lilty x

Good idea on the metaphorical box too, I'm going to steal that one if you don't mind. Will a tupperware do though? He's used all the boxes in the house to pack. :rotfl:

I'm swaying from choking back the tears to jumping round all excited, would like to settle somewhere in the middle soon.:o:(


As for Iceland, I'm so disorganised, it's unreal (and not like me). You can tell my heart's not really in it, it's come at a bad time really.
I haven't had a thought about what to pack, don't really own much cold weather gear, so am planning on just wearing everything I own at the same time in layers. I'm sure that'll work.:D
I haven't even thought about currency yet either...

Hope the coffee's kicked in. Another colleague has just placed a humungous M&S choc chip shortbread cookie on my desk, sure the sugar might help wake me up (that's my excuse and i'm sticking to it ).

I predict sugar crashes and hitting the wall around 4pm!

xx

MeandO

Scary stuff now.

Money has been transferred to my account by ex, it was a little less than we thought and I told him to keep a bit more back to cover his moving in costs. He earns less than me and I will worry about him being short of money otherwise. I know he is worried about his monthly bills.

Anyway, the overdraft has been cleared and CANCELLED. Yep, I felt brave and cancelled my overdraft - it's just too easy to slip into it otherwise. This really terrifies me though, first time since I was 18 and at uni that I haven't had an overdraft facility. :eek::eek::eek:

For now, I've paid £1,000 off of the credit card, which leaves the balance outstanding at £5981. More than I would've liked, but I may be able to pay a bit more off at the end of the month, but don't want to run the risk of leaving myself short.

I have also topped my ISA up to £250, that is the start of my possible redundancy/emergency fund.

The birthdays/Christmas pot has been rounded up to £60 and the car & house maintenance pot now has £100 in it for starters.

Now to be a good girl for the rest of the month...:o

liltdiddylilt

Wow...

Well done you on all the above activity. better to keep some money back (both you and ex) than be left overstretched at the end of the month. Set some ridiculous limits - no toiletries until you have used the ones you've got (even the ones you bought and hate!) ... toilet roll challenges. Adding in soda crystals to make the washing powder/liquid go further. Bake instead of buying sweets and chocolate. If you do have to buy some, find a Mr L's. Their chocolate is 35p for 100g and is AWESOME. I buy 10 bars and work my way through guilt free... which is why I can no longer fit into my work clothes :rotfl:

Set your budget for groceries lower than you think you can manage.. and go like hell at trying to stick to it. Mine is a game. What random meal can I have to stretch it out this week.

Tonights was... NY Deli chicken (chicken breast, covered in leftover bbq sauce, slice of bacon, cook for 20 mins, add cheese, cook until bubbling.. ) and homemade egg fried rice (rice, peas, onion, soy sauce, white pepper, sesame oil, egg.. legendary!) - random, covering two continents, but so good!

YNAB helps... every receipt you post in (don't forget these can be split up - I have categories for toiletries, household & groceries) takes you closer to the limit and you sit there wondering how to stay under it

You are doing fantastically well, and you can only take this one step at a time.. so keep going. xx

MeandO

Morning lovely people :hello:

Have been a bit AWOL this weekend, I've had a friend and his daughter to stay this weekend, so it's been bedlam and I have barely had time to turn my laptop on.

I'm shattered too. DS hasn't slept well at all, as he's had a cold which has been worse at night, so I've been like a bit of a zombie this weekend.

Lilty, you are an angel. :A Thank you so much for the ideas, I'm going to brazenly steal each one. ESPECIALLY your egg fried rice... feel free to come over anytime, just saying. But bring eggs. and rice. and peas... etc.....

I LOVE to bake (my brownies have gained me marriage proposals in the past lol :rotfl:) but with everything that has gone on this past 18 months, I have lost my baking mojo. I am slowly dusting off my kitchen chef though and have been starting to bake more lately. This weekend's offering were peanut, caramel and chocolate flapjacks (taste like snickers ) which went down very well. Even made my own caramel and partook in a bit of extravagant sugar-spinning! lol.

This month really is not the best month to start the budget for me, what with going away tonight and having to budget for spends in Iceland which, is apparently astronomically expensive. We have an apartment booked with a little kitchen though, so plan on catering for ourselves as much as possible.
Obviously I won't be using the car for 5 days or buying groceries this week though, so I'm hoping that will balance out the cost a little. I'm just going to have to get through the best I can this month and then start next month as month 1 really. The ex is still at my house until he's moved all his furniture into his place, but he will definitely be moved by next payday.

I'm not a veggie, but I rarely buy and eat meat myself unless I'm cooking for someone else or unless I really have cravings for it, so that will help with the shopping bill. DS is a real fussy eater, but is very cheap to feed. Saying that, he shocked the life out of me at the weekend by digging into the roast lamb I'd cooked for everyone with a chorus of 'mmm, I love meat'! He only had one nibble, but internally, I silently punched the air in victory. :rotfl:

Today I need to get quite a bit done before heading off, so, for my own benefit, a little list is required:

1. photocopy my student loan deferment forms and get that in the post. Thankfully (I think) I still don't earn enough to repay it monthly (I studied in London so it was a higher threshold and an older style loan).

2. Post Etsy parcels and one long term BIN on ebay that sold at the weekend, bringing in £9 or so.

3. Phone the bank and tell them I'm going abroad, so my card isn't declined, withdraw some cash for tonight's accommodation and car parking.

4. Print out a load of directions and reservation emails.

5. Cuddle my boy constantly form after school until bed, so I get enough of his cuddles to last me the week. Can you tell, I'm dreading being away from him for so long, I had to choke back the tears reading his bedtime story last night - the heart in the bottle - if you're emotional, I warn you, don't touch it with a bargepole.

I've bought and wrapped DS 6 presents, one for each day I'm not there when he wakes up, so it will make it some fun for him and he knows I'll be home the day he opens the last present.
Oh these little people are so little, but they take up such a big space in our hearts don't they.

I'm nervous about the lack of overdraft too... I'm just going to add up the rest of the payments required this month for the 12th time, to make sure I have enough money to cover it all.

Have a good day all

xx

MeandO

Well, 99% of the planned and recurrent outgoings for the month have now left my account and I'll have around £430 left after that to cover food & petrol for two weeks before netxt payday once I'm back and as little spending as possible for the next 6 days away.

If I allow around £200 for groceries & petrol for those two weeks, that should be ample.
That leaves around £200 for spends in Iceland, (accommodation & transfers are paid for) with a little buffer of £30 left in the account at the end of the month. We're not planning on any expensive & overpriced excursions, so let's hope that's realistic! :cool:

Levi-

Hey you

Sounds like your budget is realistic and should work out fine!

Nice to hear an update from ya but sorry to hear little O being under the weather and the knackerage involved with the busy weekend. Hope you make your way through that mammoth to-so list, which I'm sure you will

I'm sorry you are experiencing anxiety at leaving O and that is tainting your excitement for your holiday but I think it will subside and you will be able to enjoy yourself. The present idea is soooooo sweet and I know he will love getting those every day and what a nice way to count down to the day you come back having the last present. I reckon (in the nicest possible way) he will be having an awesome time with his daddy and time will fly. Boys time!
So you just concentrate on getting a break from being mummy and enjoying your bucket-list adventure! Make the most of it and relax. O will be fine, I promise!

We'll see you when you get back and you can tell us all about how amazing it all was. Read your book xx

MeandO

Levi, you're a gem :heart2:

Yes, my boy will have a whale of a time I'm sure and I really need to relax. about it all. His Dad has been away all weekend, so he is super-excited about seeing him when he gets back today, which is lovely.
He'll be at school all week, has his regular sporty club on Saturday and has a good friend's birthday party on Sunday, so they'll be plenty to keep him busy.
I also bought a wii from a friend last week (after getting rid of mine last summer as I never used it ) as O is sometimes allowed to use the one at after school club and he loves it. It has been set up today so should be ready for when he gets home, so hopefully he'll be too excited about that to miss Mummy.

I promise I'll read the book.
Maybe not on the plane though!

If I don't update before I go, have a fabulous week and really have everything crossed for you with the bank news today. xx