Understanding my relationship with money – and taking back control!

rozeepozee

I've just inventoried the contents of my desk and jewellery box (for all the gory details see my blog (http://theabstemiouslife.blogspot.com/). I find it soooo hard to throw things away. The stuff I want to keep needs cleaning if I'm ever to use it so I'm now about to go off to the OS board to see if there's advice on cleaning silver quickly. I'm at a do tonight and want to wear some of my jewellery there. Anyone know if you can bleach silver????

lil_me

http://www.iosilver.co.uk/wip/cleaning-jewellery.asp has a few tips on there. Must say very brave of you to choose the change in your life which mean't a huge income drop but made you what seems to be very much happier.

rozeepozee

Thanks, though I can't take credit for bravery, I was just so miserable that something had to change or I might have gone mad! Some would say that leaving that lifestyle was madness but, again, I think it comes back to understanding what is important in our lives and really examining our relationship with money. I have to admit, when I left my business, I bought a lovely well-located flat with a large garden and that is a contributing factor to my level of contentedness so I can understand why people invest so much time and effort into "nesting". Comes back to maslows hierarchy of needs again? However, I honestly think if I 'down-sized' to a smaller house, I'd be just as happy. A large property brings it's own worries (even without a mortgage to pay off, it has to be maintained). I would say that location is probably more important than the size or style of the property: where I live there are nice parks, I have a good community and it's low crime. Safety and security - also Maslow's too.

gollygosh

Everything i read on all these different threads just keeps making me think the same thing. We really need to start educating people on how to manage money. Start teaching children the real life skills. If you're never shown how to do something how on earth do you learn? My parents were brilliant with money. They always managed to do everything on a really tight budget and I'm so lucky I've followed suit, but lots of people just don't get the chance to learn. How on earth can that be right in such an enlightened society?

rozeepozee

I wonder if we are really that enlightened? Life is so busy for most that it's easy to go round with your eyes half closed. How many people really examine their attitudes and motives to spending, debts and saving? I entirely agree that there should be some space in school for teaching these topics. It would make subjects like maths more relevant and meaningful too.

boadicea_2

Money represents freedom and the power of choice. If you have money, it's far easier to choose what you want to do in life and follow that path.

I've been very constrained financially over the last few years, as I've been partially supporting my mum who is ill. The difference this makes in my disposable income is massive - I have debts I wouldn't otherwise have. My mortgage is far higher because I had to wait a few years to get a mortgage (which just happened to be the years in which house prices shot up), I had to get a loan to help pay my university costs (despite working all the way through my course) which I'm still paying off, etc. And I can't move away to a higher-paid area, where I could probably get a job that paid much more, because I can't be too far away. Nor can I dream of having a family, which I'd like to (I'm 28).

Would mum's illness have affected my life as much if my surname was Rockefeller? It would still be incredibly painful to face the fact that she is ill. But I woudn't have had the money worries that has gone along with it, adding untold stress to what is already a miserable experience.

rosy

This thread reminded me of a series the BBC did a few months back on what made people happy - it agrees with the premise that as long as you have enough for the basics, money isn't really the be all and end all, and there's a lot more related info on the BBC website. This is the link for anyone interested: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/programmes/happiness_formula/

The accompanying book is also very interesting reading ( I got it out of the library yesterday and couldn't put it down! )

rozeepozee

Authentic Happiness by Dr Martin Seligman is another excellent read in a similar vein

MUSTBEFUNNY_2

An interesting thread - Rozee sounds like you have a spot of cognitive dissonance to me? I do wonder why someone would go on a debt free site where people are struggling and "confess" that they used to earn £300k+ salary and suggest that's it's normal in London....as if...

Helonearth

I will admit that I haven't a clue what cognitive dissonance is, but in Rozee's defence, this thread was moved to the DFW board by an admin. I'm not sure where it was prior to that.

I agree about the stressful job + high pay v. lovely job + normal pay thing though. I could easily commute to work in London and probably earn £10k more than I do now, but I don't want the hassle of the London way of keeping up appearances. I think that any financial benefit would be eroded away by having to wear up to date clothes and eat out all the time.