In the Lowest Hour

moneyonmymindsam

Muffintops thanks so much for your valuable input ...great ideas - so genuine thanks I hope I can sustain this!!! My life is getting less messier and things are on the up...I am always positive so it's not like me to get so down. Please do Drop by anytime and thanks so much for your messages :kisses: ...p.s I kiss a lot !!!

moneyonmymindsam

Happy Shrove Tuesday

moneyonmymindsam

Elusive edinburghlad I have pm'd you

MuffinTops

I know I had some blips in the beginning, but I think that was more due to making this a habit than anything else. As you can see on my diary, I'm far from perfect, but I have enough knowledge now that my sprees are less frequent and I take things back!

It's nice to hear that you're usually quite upbeat as that will force its way back through for you soon, I hope. Especially as you're in a great place for support.

I do love a double cheek(y) kiss! Thank you!

Did you celebrate Shrove Tuesday? I didn't because I'm so rubbish at pancake making! Now I feel sad that I went without!

I've subscribed so will pop in regularly!

Knitting_Nora

Right. *cracks knuckles* We've got some work to do here....


First up, I've totally stalked you having seen some of your comments on other diaries I 'frequent' (read: stalk).


Secondly (you'll get used to the numbering). I'm going to be totally bossy and ask you to change your signature on the bottom of your posts. Yep, I'm *exactly* that rude! I know - from bitter and horrible experience that it's hard to believe, but I promise that your life is only a mess if you allow it to be. No matter what happens around you - it's completely your decision about how you react to stuff or deal with challenges (I'm from Essex - "challenges" was not the word in my head...;)). Don't get me wrong - we all have that 'curl under the quilt and hope it all goes away' feeling. So much so that some of us literally do crawl under the quilt for a while - me included. But the brain is a funny thing - sometimes you can fool it into feeling better, even when it doesn't want to! I know, cool, right? The trick is to smile even when you don't feel like it. Say and write positive things about yourself and your life, even if you don't believe it in that moment - because by doing that, you're telling your brain to release happy chemicals instead of sad ones. You're literally choosing to be happy. Now, you don't get to be much more in control of your own destiny than that, do you?!!


Soooo, since you're very clearly picking up your life again, pleeeease change that blooming signature from a negative to a positive. Might I suggest *offers bribery of virtual coffee and chocolate* something like:


"Sure, I'm in debt - but I'm getting it sorted, 'cos that's how I roll"


Because you are in debt, you are dealing with it, and frankly m'dear, it is how you're rolling these days. Totally kicking the unmentionables out of being out of control! :T

Thirdly, redo your SOA and include everything in one place for yourself. You don't need to publish it here - it's whatever works for you. But you need it all in one place to help unscramble your brain.


Fourthly, pay off what is reasonable each month - I get that you want to pay of everything instantly, but if you leave yourself too short then you're just building in problems down the line. I say this, because often we place more pressure on ourselves than banks, credit card companies etc do because we feel guilty about overspending. It's an unhealthy cycle - and it's one that led to me ending up with approx. £65k of debt a few years ago. So consider me a horrible warning! :rotfl:


Slow, steady and manageable is the only way to get properly on track. If you're not sure where to start with that, then talk to us, or have a chat with the advisers at the Citizens Advice Bureau - either way, get yourself a bit of a plan in place which you can then leave to work its magic while you concentrate on the next point.


Fifthly - be your own best friend. Seriously - we're all so bad about this. But take five minutes every day just to hug yourself and remind yourself you're doing ok. Because you are. I promise. Any then maybe take 15 minutes each day to get outside and enjoy the fresh air, smile at the birds in the sky or whatever floats your boat (it's the fresh air that's important). Even if it's raining, get out of the house or the office - of course, rain's best when you're on your way home to a warm bath and clean pjs. And after that, maybe take an hour to do something silly, or fun, or just wonderfully freeing - and free. And when you've got that down pat, maybe take half a day and do something you've never done before....


And keep coming back here. Talk, rant, ask questions, be silly and breathe with us. Because if there's one thing I learned with these diaries, it's that you never know how much your experience will help others as well as yourself.


Nora.xx

MuffinTops

Hello Sam,

In case you don't know Nora very well she really is one of the loveliest people on this board and although you've hopefully understood her tone, she really does say these things with care and love.

I do understand allowing yourself to feel a mess, but I think Nora could be right in the fact that our bodies believe what our brain tells it and that we are our worst enemies. You don't sound a mess to me and I'd love to hear you being kind to yourself.

I meant what I said on my diary. You are doing me the power of good reading your diary as I often get those "ahh, yes, I remember that" moments, and even the "oops, guilty" times too. Is there anything any of us could do to help you feel more of what we see (strong, able to deal with "issues" before they become problems, caring and just an all round lovely person)? If there is, please jsut say. I will happily cheer you on from the sidelines every day that I can.

I hope today is going well for you and that you're currently really busy having a nice time and that you'll update us all with your mischief later.

:kisses3:

MTx

Knitting_Nora

Oooo, thanks MT - yes, I do mean it with lots of love, enormous hugs and loads of support!

:smileyhea

So sorry - I really hope I haven't offended, upset or down-right terrified you! I forget that not everyone is used to me!


But seriously, I think you're doing so well already - far better than perhaps you realise?


So I'm here to be your personal cheerleader. Just, maybe not with the cartwheels and short skirts if that's ok with everyone? I may have eaten a bit much cake...


Lots of hugs (and a slice of apology-cake)


Nora.xx

moneyonmymindsam

Hi Nora
I knew when you cracked your knuckles you mean business
Agree about the signature. I need to look after myself a whole heap better and am going to change the "always putting me last"
Genuine Thanks for all the time and effort you put into stalking me :ROFL: and your messages
:kisses:

edinburghlad

Good morning! The midnight poster is back. You have been quiet the last couple of days. Hope all is well?

moneyonmymindsam

Muffintop as always thank you for keeping me on the up

Have had a boost today as ebay sales currently totalling £34 and a few days left to go.

Spoke to my boss today about reducing my hours a tiny bit so I can focus on getting sorted.

:kisses: as I know your a sucker for a double kiss :)