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How different are you from your siblings?
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engineer_amy wrote: »Personality wise I mean. My sister and I could not be more different.
She is 8 years older than me, and while we have similar tastes in clothes, music, decor etc, everything else is completely different. She doesn't manage money well and frequently asks our parents for loans, and should my parents ask for some assistance in looking after our grandparents for an hour or two, she is always too busy, which we have later found out wasn't true. It always seems to be the case that she will take, but is unwilling to give anything back in return.
During a conversation this week in work (we work together) about the American holiday of thanksgiving, our colleagues were all discussing what we were thankful for. The first thing that I thought of was my supportive family and friends. I was shocked and maybe a bit put out when family didn't even feature in my sisters list. After rhyming off a list 'things' including, of all things, her looks!!!!! I was just shocked at how materialistic and selfish she sounded.
Rant over!
Do any of you have completely different siblings?
Tbh this seems more about you not liking her behaviour, rather than your differences. She probably thinks the same ......
My brother and I have very different lifestyles so his priorities are different from mine. He's not so much family oriented, doesnt have kids, and he likes his material stuff which he can afford as he works hard. He's very generous whereas I watch the pennies more now. We irritate each other immensely yet love each other to bits. We both know best. Well, he thinks he does :rotfl:
I'm surprised op that you know so much about your parents relationship with your sister. My folks wouldn't tell me if they loaned my brother money, its none of my business and can cause all kinds of family feuds.Never again will the wolf get so close to my door :eek:0 -
Tbh this seems more about you not liking her behaviour, rather than your differences. She probably thinks the same ......
I'm surprised op that you know so much about your parents relationship with your sister. My folks wouldn't tell me if they loaned my brother money, its none of my business and can cause all kinds of family feuds.
Yes I agree that her selfishness annoys me at times, hence the rant.
My parents have mentioned it to me on occasion that they have had to lend her money, small amounts coming up to the end of the month before payday etc. and they have paid off her debts a number of years ago after receiving letters from DCAs to their address. They ask me how she is getting on in work and if she is safe in her job etc and they pay her car insurance and car tax every year. As my brother and I are both accountants, our parents do ask us to look at their finances from time to time so they do share this with us. We have offered to help our sister budget and manage better, but always met by a 'it's none of your business'
There is also the difference in temperaments. My brother and I are quite laid back and easy going, generally work through issues systematically to solve problems and know our own minds, whereas she has quite a temper, will go into a huff if she doesn't get her own way, buries her head in the sand if there is a problem, quite impulsive and can be easily swayed by her friends.
She will make comments to people that my brother is the 'blue eyed boy' and I am the 'golden child' in our parents eyes, while she is left out in the cold. It's true that our parents do treat us differently, buts because they are mindful of my sister flying off the handle, and some trust issues.Mortgage = [STRIKE]£113,495 (May 2009)[/STRIKE] £67462.74 Jun 20190 -
Loads
My sister is clinically depressive, artistic, probably aspergers. Her daughter is the same. Both work. She does not like ppl.
My mother was artistic, worked for national ballet and was not mentally challenged. My father hates ppl. Is probably a high end autistic person.
I am not creative at all and am not physically talented. I am average. And I don't suffer depression but I am probably seen as 'strange' as I like own company and don't 'read' ppl that well.
Brother is high flyer in IT - hates social occasions as do I and my sister. We don't do small talk.0 -
My brother and I aren't close, emotionally or geographically. I don't know how similar we are. I'd say that we aren't similar, but the reality is probably that we are too alike:heartpuls Mrs Marleyboy :heartpuls
MSE: many of the benefits of a helpful family, without disadvantages like having to compete for the tv remoteProud Parents to an Aut-some son
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engineer_amy wrote: »Yes I agree that her selfishness annoys me at times, hence the rant.
My parents have mentioned it to me on occasion that they have had to lend her money, small amounts coming up to the end of the month before payday etc. and they have paid off her debts a number of years ago after receiving letters from DCAs to their address. They ask me how she is getting on in work and if she is safe in her job etc and they pay her car insurance and car tax every year. As my brother and I are both accountants, our parents do ask us to look at their finances from time to time so they do share this with us. We have offered to help our sister budget and manage better, but always met by a 'it's none of your business'
There is also the difference in temperaments. My brother and I are quite laid back and easy going, generally work through issues systematically to solve problems and know our own minds, whereas she has quite a temper, will go into a huff if she doesn't get her own way, buries her head in the sand if there is a problem, quite impulsive and can be easily swayed by her friends.
She will make comments to people that my brother is the 'blue eyed boy' and I am the 'golden child' in our parents eyes, while she is left out in the cold. It's true that our parents do treat us differently, buts because they are mindful of my sister flying off the handle, and some trust issues.
So, really, the whole family know all her business - is she an adult now, because if so, I can see why she gets cross. I'm not saying she is sensible etc, but I can't see where it actually is any of your business. If your parents lend her money, that's up to them. I'm not sure what they are trying to gain by telling you anything - perhaps because they worry, but its not your job to put her right.
From her perspective I can see why it looks as though everyone is on at her - you might be trying to help but she's probably feeling very claustrophobic. I would be. SorryNever again will the wolf get so close to my door :eek:0 -
I have an identical twin sister. Our looks are where our similarities end. We have very different personalities, sense of humour, approaches to and outlooks on life and our taste in pretty much everything is vastly different.
Despite being like chalk and cheese we do get on. I love her to bits and respect her very much. We also know that we would drop everything and be by each others side if ever needed.The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own, no apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on or blame. The gift is yours - it is an amazing journey - and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins.0 -
There are three of us and we could not be more different.
This results in my sister and I having complimentary skillsets and we form a great team. I anchor her creative craziness whilst she adds the flourish to my rock-solid logic. The calm and steady one needs the artistic stresshead and vice versa.
Our brother has totally different priorities and little sense of responsibility.
Much as our mother would disagree, we were brought up differently, despite being in the same house and there being 4 years from my big brother to me as the youngest. I think this shaped us to some degree.0 -
My sister is fairly heartless, she has always been fairly cold and she is happy to admit it, then she also admits seeing her children for an hour a day is an inconvenience, she is a clone of mum.
My brother and I are very alike, I have slightly more get up and go as I push through a challenge where as he is likely to give up easier than myself.0 -
Out of the 4 of us, i'm the only one who ever seems to have had a relationship...
My sisters are like peas in a pod, very similar personalities and i'm just nothing like them. My brother is again, nothing like me.
I feel like the odd one out most of the time(but then i guess i am as technically i'm only their half sibling) I wish we were closer but being 10,9 and 6 years older than them, they were always closer to each other.
This is a system account and does not represent a real person. To contact the Forum Team email forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com0 -
So, really, the whole family know all her business - is she an adult now, because if so, I can see why she gets cross. I'm not saying she is sensible etc, but I can't see where it actually is any of your business. If your parents lend her money, that's up to them. I'm not sure what they are trying to gain by telling you anything - perhaps because they worry, but its not your job to put her right.
From her perspective I can see why it looks as though everyone is on at her - you might be trying to help but she's probably feeling very claustrophobic. I would be. Sorry
Hadn't actually considered that perspective before. It's good to get other opinions like this, to try and see both sides.
PS yes she's an adult -37 yo.Mortgage = [STRIKE]£113,495 (May 2009)[/STRIKE] £67462.74 Jun 20190
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