Had a bit of a Barney with the missus

Guest101

Atomix wrote: »

Shes annoyed because youve moved on with your life, unfazed by her melodramatics (ie asking you to leave). She probably expected you to be an bended Knee begging to come back.

the only hold she has on you, is the kids. Hence the problems your encountering....

Ask her outright what her problem is? She kicked you out - right?

I did do that to start, but then stopped as i could see she wasnt having it.

Whether just anger / frustration or punishment.

Will see how this weekend goes, as dont want to rock the boat too much, but thanks

Gigglepig

Scrapaholic wrote: »

Our son has an ex wife and they have two children . If things are going along ok in her life she doesn't bother him and they share care of the children (2 separate homes) without too many problems . Things go along more or less stress free. As soon as a problem/ stress occurs in her life everything changes . She complains the children are badly behaved and that DS isn't putting them first etc and she creates stress for everyone . In your case , it sounds similar . You might not know what's been happening in her life and she might just be taking things out on you. She might feel that she can still hurt you through keeping the children away from you . I think some women enjoy spreading stress and unhappiness about . I hope things settle down soon . Try and keep positive , don't drink too much . If she does phone you to talk or maybe to come and pick the children up and you've drank too much to drive etc , she could use this in an argument against you . She might even imply you're unfit to care for them . Try and reduce your stress , not by smoking more though, you need good health to look after and enjoy time with your children .

From the woman's perspective who knows, perhaps she finds the ex totally unreasonable and really hard work the whole time, which means she can smoothe things over when she's ok but can't cope with him when she's run down.

cavework

You make a lot of assumptions about your ex's feelings and behaviour.
Do you think she finds you controlling in your relationship and is standing up for herself?

duchy

You are seeing it as creating some space ..........
The other side of that is that you are leaving things to fester and grow.

If three weeks hasn't resolved anything maybe some counseling together might get communication going ?

Guest101

duchy wrote: »

You are seeing it as creating some space ..........
The other side of that is that you are leaving things to fester and grow.

If three weeks hasn't resolved anything maybe some counseling together might get communication going ?

I'm hoping communication opens up once things calm down.

- I've suggested that but she's not keen on counselling.

Guest101

cavework wrote: »

You make a lot of assumptions about your ex's feelings and behaviour.
Do you think she finds you controlling in your relationship and is standing up for herself?

Well I could say the same about ur post

I dunno. Honestly.

I'm making educated guesses as communication isn't really on going at the moment.

I don't think I'm controlling. I work, I come home, I see kids, I cook, I clean/tidy. - obv not all the time, but I try do my share.

She handles finances, as she's better with money. Other than that, I dunno.

Feel like we weren't spending enough time together. But December can be stressful. And in general life can be.

Anyway good news: she's confirmed I can do this weekend so win there.

cavework

I hope you get things sorted .. your reply to me does seem a bit sarcastic.. but that could just be me.. no problem
perhaps a bit of TLC and appreciation is missing, even though you think you are doing enough and if you really want your relationship to continue it might be the time to consider this
It's tough being a Mum or Dad , you can find others forget you are still an individual ,with opinions and can still be considered attractive.
Your partner (either sex or same) might now be giving all their attention to the children believing this is expected which can leave you feeling unimportant in the relationship
Good luck
xx

Guest101

cavework wrote: »

I hope you get things sorted .. your reply to me does seem a bit sarcastic.. but that could just be me.. no problem
perhaps a bit of TLC and appreciation is missing, even though you think you are doing enough and if you really want your relationship to continue it might be the time to consider this
It's tough being a Mum or Dad , you can find others forget you are still an individual ,with opinions and can still be considered attractive.
Your partner (either sex or same) might now be giving all their attention to the children believing this is expected which can leave you feeling unimportant in the relationship
Good luck
xx

Only the first line I promise

I do get what u mean. I was always attentive, paying complements etc.

And I know kids are the priority, but Ye sometimes felt that way. I'm sure she did sometimes too.

Hope so, I miss my family and last few weeks arguing hasn't helped at all.

purpleshoes_2

I dont understand why you post threads under different usernames. You posted several threads last year under another name, you got loads of advice, you took little of it. You then started another thread at christmas under another user name. Now this.

She told you a year ago she didnt want to be with you anymore. give her space and concentrate on the relationship with the kids.

If she doesnt want to be with you anymore accept it and move on.

purpleshoes_2

Shes your ex partner. If she doesnt want to reconcile, accept it and concentrate on the kids. Seriously. you cant force her to want to be with you if thats not what she wants.