son eating me out of house and home

spender

I have one that constantly eats the same as yours. I have now bought fishfingers, plenty of bread, baked beans, tins of soup etc. I find that if I do not buy the easy to consume items he will stick the oven on to make a fishfinger sandwich. You can buy 10 fishfingers cheaply or at the moment 18 for £2.00 from Tesco. The protein fills him up and the bread is cheap (I have converted him to wholemeal). He has now discovered cheese (after hating it) so I buy cheddar and Ritz Crackers (or own brand) as his treat. I also make a carrot and lentil soup which is cheap and very filling and surprisingly young and older kids love it! He will also boil himself some eggs now once I showed him. All the protein seems to fill him up for longer.

I hide the nice stuff in the bread maker, it is the last place hiding place I have found!

He does a huge amount of sport and is nearly 6ft now so I just accept I have to feed him huge amounts but by not having all the "treats" he has to find something to curb his hunger.

If only I could get his 17 year old tiny sister to eat more!

AngelOfTheNorth

So you're offering more filling, proteiny stuff and he's refusing a lot of it? Makes no sense- although I guess chicken is at least cheaper than red meat so you could replace one with the other and save a bit there!

atolaas

Take him food shopping with you. Show him how far your money doesn't go. He may be more responsive when he realises that you aren't "having a go" or "being tight", but there is a genuine problem that needs to be sorted out. It can't hurt to try! Good luck to you

TBagpuss

You can also bulk out some of the items you do make - add red lentils to spaghetti bolognese, chickpeas or lentils to curry, haricots, or chickpeas to casseroles etc. It adds extra protein, gives a 'slow burn' s he'll stay fuller for longer, and its cheaper than meat.

Teach him how to make porridge for breakfast.

SEPARATELY| from the issue of hunger, sit down and talk to him.MAke sure that you are absolutely clear that he needs to pull his weifght with things sch as washing up, and that eveytime he steals from you, or lies about it, you will hold back money from the money you give him, to cover the cost plus an increasing level of penelties - maybe £1 extra the first time, £2 extra the second time.

BE honest. tell him you cannot afford to feed him and yourself if he keeps steraling food and that if he cannot or will not change how he behaves with regard to food, you will have to stop giving him the child benefit and any other pocket money he gets, and use that for food, and he will need to get a part time job to cover his own lunches and any socail life or entertainment he wants

gfplux

He is disrespectful, selfish and needs waking up.

carmina_piranha

Last time my teenagers used all of the milk without replacing it for us in the morning my husband turned the internet off for 24 hours and told them next time he has no milk left it will go off for 48 hours! There's no need to completely empty the milk, it's basic manners to leave enough for a cup of tea or walk to a 24 hour supermarket and buy some more.

My teenagers are told what they can eat when they get evening munchies - porridge or toast with marmite/cheese/peanut butter etc. and if they want something else they know where the shops are. They are almost adults, and they have so much more free time than I do.

If he is leaving half of the meal you make for him, why not re-heat it later if he's hungry?

rev229

I have a DS 18 and although he used to eat lots like OP it has definitely modified. However we still hide treats etc as they would be gone! Only problem is I forget where they are��

[Deleted User]

If he likes game consoles or a pc, I'd take them away, and tell him you need to sell them to buy food. Give him a list of all the supermarkets in the area, tell him to get a job to help feed himself. Tell him if you can both work on cutting food back.., u'll be able to buy them back.

This might make him think in a way nothing else would and be prepared to talk, and most importantly listen.

Have you asked him what food he likes to eat? Can you work with him to make a menu he will eat? And only spend half what you are spending on snacks now. He'll be hungry enough to eat what you make for dinner etc.

Definitely lock food away.

All of above will hopefully make him more prepared to work with you to solve the problem.

eskimo26

When my parents started fostering we soon learnt we need private storage, we stuck a fridge/freezer and a cupboard in a tiny cupboard room and all the things intended for eating as and when go down stairs and the rest stays locked away allowing us to ration it.

Teenage boys need a lot of food but we managed to moderate it, they hve cut down their consumption as a result but it wasn't easy going because it is still very much a case of if it's in sight it won't last long and we've been caught out more then once when getting lax.

More then once we have come in from shopping and left the bags in the hall while we rested a bit and they ALWAYS get raided and it's rarely little bits it's usually several chocolate bars rather then one [which we wouldn't mind so much!]

Having said that since we flagged it up as an issue our Albanian boy has become quite sensitive and always asks before helping himself, there is no excuse for selfishness or lying tbh.

Our albanian boy use to come home from school and have a tin of beans, half a plate of fresh chips, half a block of chedder or feta [every day!}, gherkins, tomatoes and a huge portion of fried sausage then eat his dinner too and we don't serve up small portions at my house lol. Nowadays it's quite rare for him to do that.

Oh we also bulk buy in costco or makro only the things that are substantially cheaper and are worth it. They still use softener, loo roll and other consumables like they expect them to disappear.

I think in part it's psychological, if we replaced the liquid softener with tablets for example they wouldn't be able to pour it out like it was water. They've done tests with portion sizes and generally people will finish things regardless of size.

We found budgeting by portion size rather then cost helps as they don't seem to care what size things are they finish them regardless! Ah the world of teenage boys.

Fruit is always available in a bowl in our kitchen btw but the expensive stuff is rationed or no one else would get any. We don't have things like chocolate or crisps just lying around because they wouldn't last a second. The rest we bring down in sensible quantities and it's all minimal cooking like baked beans etc. but the fact there is some work involved makes it less convenient for them so they don't eat as much, i think one lady mentioned fish fingers for example though ours have grown out of their frozen food fetish.

theoretica

I think there are two separate issues here.

The hunger of the teenage male - he has a top up cupboard, but doesn't fancy it. Why not? Can you give him a budget and take him to the shop when you go or get him to give you a list?

Eating food planned for the future - similar behaviour will make him a very unpopular housemate! If you can't trust him locks have been suggested (with the food he may eat out so not starving him, even by his standards). You could try labelling meals in advance so he is not just eating pizza he is eating Thursday's dinner with a fall back for you , perhaps one that he dislikes - or he needs to cook the meal from the contents of his cupboard. However, I wonder if changing the family diet for a while might be an option - no pizza in the house, no pies, no chocolate bars. Replacing it with pasta, flour - ingredients. At the least he would learn to cook!

And why is he wasting food? Left overs can be put aside for later, and only as much as he will eat dished up.