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Help reqd re clothes for burial - pls be sensitive

13

Comments

  • whitewing
    whitewing Posts: 11,852 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Thank you so much everyone for all your help, which has been gratefully received by next-of-kin.
    :heartsmil When you find people who not only tolerate your quirks but celebrate them with glad cries of "Me too!" be sure to cherish them. Because these weirdos are your true family.
  • jannyannie
    jannyannie Posts: 797 Forumite
    How would they have normally dressed? I would include anything that they particularly liked, including underwear and shoes. It's important that people have dignity in life and death.

    Sorry for your loss x
  • when we lost my mum in law we took her best clothes and her underwear and shoes for her and the undertakers even bought her a pair of tights(id not thought of that and we really appreciated their thoughtfulness)im sorry to hear of your loss and i hope you are feeling as well as can be expected,my thoughts are with you at this sad time x
    :p dee mum of 3 "before you buy ...think,how many hours have i worked to pay for this?,do i need it? or can i get it r&r in tesco!! hee heee:A
  • hubs asked me to mention that we also buried his mum with her handbag she carried it everywhere and just in case she needed it in heaven, inside we put her lipstick photos and other sentimental stuff
    :p dee mum of 3 "before you buy ...think,how many hours have i worked to pay for this?,do i need it? or can i get it r&r in tesco!! hee heee:A
  • rls1973
    rls1973 Posts: 781 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 500 Posts Combo Breaker
    ms_london wrote: »
    Sorry to hear your news!

    When my grandad died, he was buried in what he would usually wear, including his cap, and wallet with a 20 pound note in it! :rolleyes: Typically my grandad, always had his wallet on him, and it wouldntve been right to give him a wallet with no money. I know it sounds daft, but it was my grandad all over!! Bless him!!

    It is down to individual choice and no right or wrong answer. I hope some of our replies help and ease your mind!! xx


    my best friend and her mum visited her grandad in the chapel of rest and put a cigarette in one hand and a whisky miniature in the other, not at all disrespectful, this was a loving gesture if you see what i mean: this was normal for him! the undertaker knew this and was ok with it

    anything the relatives want is fine

    she did say though, they had shaved his moustache off which they didn't like as it wasn't normal for him
  • louidog
    louidog Posts: 517 Forumite
    I dressed my nan in her favourite dress, put her glasses on her, gave her a packet of ciggies and wrote her a long, long letter and put that in an envelope and put that in with her too.

    When mum died I dressed her in an outfit she had worn about 10 months earlier at her 67th birthday gathering. She was ill and at the time I just knew she would not get to see her 68th. I also went and got 2 of the most beautiful bunches of roses and put a bunch in each of her arms. She loved flowers and she looked so beautful with the roses eitherr side of her.

    I am so sorry to hear of your loss whitewing xx
    My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being, hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
    -Erma Bombeck-
    ~ Member of the MSE Celebdaq Minileague ~
  • msmiller
    msmiller Posts: 52 Forumite
    Just sending my best wishes to you, I'm so sorry for your loss x
  • Ticklemouse
    Ticklemouse Posts: 5,030 Forumite
    1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    My condolences too.

    When my dad died, he was cremated and I believe they had to remove his shoes because of the leather - same if you put a belt on them too. However, if you want them to wear these items in the chapel of rest, then the funeral directors will oblige.

    My mum sent a full set of clothes - undies, socks and vest because that's what he always wore. He wore a favourite suit with shirt and tie. I remember we all stood in the bedroom with the suit and went through various shirt and tie combos :D

    Apparently when my FIL died (I never knew him) he was dressed in a shroud and my MIL said that when she saw him it didn't look like him. She'd rather he had been in his (clean) overalls - he was a plasterer and that's what people knew him in.
  • Savvy_Sue
    Savvy_Sue Posts: 47,477 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    when my mum dies, she wishes to be cremated, but clearly we'll have to put some knitting in with her! She's never without it!
    Signature removed for peace of mind
  • whitewing
    whitewing Posts: 11,852 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Dear All,Thank you so much for your kind help. I can't begin to describe how comforting it is to be amongst friends like you. It feels so personal to be talking about your relatives and what happened when they went. We decided on suit and tie, with string vest, pants and shoes. He wouldn't have felt right going to church in anything else. We kept his watch for sentimental reasons; his dressing table wouldn't look right without it on at the moment. We were all with him when he passed away, so I don't think any of us feels the need to visit him in the Chapel of Rest. But it still feels good to know that we have done what we feel is right with regard to how he will be looking now.I loved the idea of the bunches of roses/flowers. I am sure that will become a family tradition for the ladies of the family in future. Surprising how much is symbolised by the little loving gestures.Bless you all; you have helped so much xxx
    :heartsmil When you find people who not only tolerate your quirks but celebrate them with glad cries of "Me too!" be sure to cherish them. Because these weirdos are your true family.
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