Help reqd re clothes for burial - pls be sensitive

whitewing

Thank you all so much for your kind help. Next-of-kin is very grateful. You are such lovely people. I love this website - how on earth did I ever manage without it? (I didn't!)

Broken_hearted

I would like matching underwear, shoes, hair done and full make up. As people always say it's the thought that counts so send in what you feel is right for the person.
I'll remember you in my prayers tonight and ask for some comfort in your loss. Hugs.

lil_me

Sorry to hear of your loss, decisions like this are never easy.

It may seem a little insenstive of me to post this. When a very good friend of mine passed away his Mam bought him a suit to wear, I know in my heart he would have absolutely hated it and would have prefered to have been in his U2 tshirt, pair of comfy jeans and trainers. When I went to see him at the chapel I actually laughed, thinking oh blimey for the third time in your life she's got you in a pair of trousers and shoes, never mind a suit. Many of his close friends thought the same, we of course didn't mention it to his Mam.

From experience with funeral directors as long as there isn't anything that will cause problems, they will usually follow all of the families wishes. Underwear and shoes I have always known to be taken to wear, but on a website I looked on when looking for similar advice it said shoes are not normally used. A biker friend was burried in his full leathers, just how he wanted.

ms_london

Sorry to hear your news!

When my grandad died, he was buried in what he would usually wear, including his cap, and wallet with a 20 pound note in it! :rolleyes: Typically my grandad, always had his wallet on him, and it wouldntve been right to give him a wallet with no money. I know it sounds daft, but it was my grandad all over!! Bless him!!

It is down to individual choice and no right or wrong answer. I hope some of our replies help and ease your mind!! xx

MRSTITTLEMOUSE

Sorry to hear of your loss,I can't add anything other than others have already said,except that if it is a cremation you probably won't be allowed shoes because the soles are usually rubber and this is one of the things not allowed in a cremation.
A close relative is an undertaker and he says that whatever the person or family wants is acceptable.

Becles

Sorry to hear your loss.

Make sure you explain how his hair looked. When my Grandma died, Dad went to see her in the chapel of rest, but her hair was all elegantly styled and she had loads of make up on. Grandma never wore make up and had a "wash and wear" hair style, and Dad said it just didn't look like her at all.

JennyW_2

I'm sorry to hear your sad news.

When my father died, the funeral directors asked us to bring in clothes, (we chose suit, shirt, tie etc) plus they requested shoes and underwear.

suzukibabe

When my mum died, we were given the choice of a shroud or her own clothes.
We opted for her own clothes and underwear, as for shoes, my mum lost both of her legs a few years before she died so we did'nt need to worry which ones would have gone with her oufit.
We also took a picture of mum in with us so they could get her hair and make-up right.

My thoughts are with you.

kymrob

its lovely to think this website can cover so many different topics on so many different levels. i have never really lost anyone who is close to me but i wondered the same question!
(i want to be in my pjs with a duvet and pillar!!)

sorry to hear about your loss

Penny_Watcher

My condolences for your loss whitewing.

My OH's best friend is a funeral director. He's always said that there is no right or wrong in this matter. It's whatever the deceased person's family feel happiest with.

He suggests that the family send everything that the person would have worn in their daily life as if they were going to an important occasion. People are ofter buried wearing their glasses