First Will, is it too complex?

Ma77hew

I don't consider it micro managing, I am trying to ensure everyone is looked after and has access to a suitable level of funds. What I was trying to avoid when I came up with the list, was any inheritance being locked away until she was say 18 and then her getting everything, leaving my sister to pick up the bill from now until then. I have zero knowledge of how these things work, having never inherited anything and never written a will.

For example someone mentioned buying a bigger house, I hadn't thought of that and its a great idea, but on flip side there is a massive difference between moving from say a 3 bed to a 4 bed and using say £100k, compared to moving up several rungs of the property ladder and using £500k. Who makes that decision, I guess I can leave some guidance for the trustee's.

Also my estimate of £15k came from google search saying average cost of raising a child to university was £11k. I added the bit at 18 as she will have finished A levels more or less and will be independent, so why shouldnt she have more choice as less will be needed to spend on her.

I also cant go back in time and put my niece through private school on the off chance that my wife and I might die, and I don't see it as unreasonable to provision for my daughter to go to private school, as that's the intention we have for her education. Bear in mind there is a 10 years age gap, my niece will have almost finished school by the time my daughter is going, so its not an issue in my mind. That being said I could leave wishes to fund her uni, and maybe any future children's education, in case that arises, I hadn't thought of this due to the age gap, but can see how it might lead to issues.

I guess we all have different outlooks and this is becoming more of a moral topic, than a what can or cant be done.

There have been some good ideas listed and it has given me a much better understanding, and a bunch of questions to ask the solicitor, so I've found it really useful.

TBagpuss

Some further points:
- your trust deed can be a separate document from the will if you don't want it to become public
- you will ned 2 trustees if the trust is for a child. It's not uncommon to have one of the two be (say) your sister and the other to be a professional such as your solicitor. Ideally, they will then be able to work together with your sister making the majority of the day-to-day decisions but with the solicitor there to keep an eye on any legal issues, and as a safeguard in the event of any problems (you trust your sister, but people can come under all sorts of pressures from financial problems, manipulative partners etc - it doesn't hurt to have someone who is not personally involved in the situation)
- discuss with the solicitor the options - most trusts for children provide for powers of advancement to meet the needs of the child. While this obviously covers things such as school fees it might also provide (depending on the total value of the trust) for covering housing costs.
- a lump sum legacy to your sister on considtion that your daughter lives with her would be possible - that way you are offsetting some of the extra cost of adding a child to the family.
- you can discuss with your solicitor, and include in a letter of wishes, guidance on what you would see are reasonable in terms of what money was advanced for - e.g. you can make clear that you feel that it would be in your daughters interests to be integrated into you sisters family and that money advanced to allow the *whole* family to go on holiday would be in her interests, for example.

Your suggestions do seem a little on the 'micro-management' side to me, and it may be that it would be more sensible to give your sister greater freedom, but to discuss with her periodically what you would want, so she is aware of your , and your wife's , wishes.

JimmyTheWig

Will your sister take your child (and any future children you may have) in and treat her as one of her own?
In which case why not leave all the money to her to do with as she sees fit?

jackyann

Reasons for concern about you specifying a private school:

The fees may become unmanageable, or your daughter may end up stuck in a school that is going downhill.

One of the local state schools may be better for your daughter:
you don't know what may happen either with your daughter or the local schools, so:
there may be a very good state school locally
she may have a special education need better dealt with at a state school
she may have a talent better fostered at a specialist state school

I wonder if you are assuming that private education is better, experienced parents will tell you it's not always so

If you leave the decision for the guardian, taking into account your wishes, and making provision to pay for education in general, you have covered all bases.

PlymouthMaid

JimmyTheWig wrote: »

Will your sister take your child (and any future children you may have) in and treat her as one of her own?
In which case why not leave all the money to her to do with as she sees fit?

Well I definitely would not do that just in case. families have a disturbing way of becoming quite dysfunctional when people die and money is on the table.

Mtl2015

I agree that you need to be flexible on some things - Your daughter might not *want* to go to a private school. There might not be a private school that suits her needs in the area by that time. Prices may drastically change. Also is your sister likely to have any more children? If she doesn't send her children to private school you could be talking 3 or more school pick ups and drop offs if she has any more. I know people who do two different schools but i think 3 would be unreasonable.

As for less being spent on her at 18... Well, i'm not sure i agree with you. She could turn out to be fairly responsible - Assuming that you intend her to buy her own clothes and gadgets, holidays etc out of the 20k per year - That would work well enough with 5k being plenty for the guardian.

However.. What if she doesn't? What if she blows her 20k a year and then expects the guardian to pay her way where it matters?

You cannot predict that so i think you do need a provision for the guardian in that scenario.

I understand that you want whats best but i also think you risk forcing your sister to have to back out if there is no flexibility.

securityguy

I understand that you want whats best but i also think you risk forcing your sister to have to back out if there is no flexibility.

As I say, I've both written wills involving guardianships for my children, and accepted the responsibility of guardianships for my nephews. I also know people who have actually acted as guardians, following the deaths of relatives. I wouldn't accept a guardianship on the basis the OP is proposing, because there's just too much to go wrong.

Suppose you and your wife die, and your sister is asked to be a guardian on this basis. What happens if:

It's not possible to take in your daughter without your sister giving up work or substantially reducing her hours (think of the school run, holiday care)?

What happens if in the meantime you've had another child?

What happens if in the meantime she's had another child?

Your daughter turned out to have special needs, perhaps caused or exacerbated by the trauma of her parents' death?

What happens if your sister and her family decide to move house to somewhere that the only private schools are hopeless?

And so on, and so on. I would accept a guardianship when there was a discretionary trust with sensible trustees, whose focus was on raising children rather than preserving money for when they are adults. Otherwise, I'd keep well away.

securityguy

I want my wife to inherit all in my death

Which is odd, given your mistrust of your sister as guardian.

Consider what the implications for your daughter are if you die, and then your wife remarries.

Mojisola

Ma77hew wrote: »

I don't consider it micro managing,

Mtl2015 wrote: »

I understand that you want whats best but i also think you risk forcing your sister to have to back out if there is no flexibility.

What really matters is what your sister thinks.

As Mtl2015 suggests as a possibility, your sister may not want to take on the role if your requirements are too exacting. I know I wouldn't.

theoretica

Just to add that you are, of course, no where near the only person to write a will as a parent and solicitors will have a library of standard clauses to adapt as needed. At least the trust funds in my parents' and my granny's will are remarkably similar for being written at different time, by different people. Both give the trustees a great deal of freedom, but the trustees need to agree. The trustees' powers include buying and maintaining property, whole or in part ownership. So in your case your sister and family could move several rungs up the housing ladder, perhaps keeping their old house rented out, but the trust and eventually your daughter would own the property.