The Ultimate Incentive Part 11 (or 10B) It's The Final Countdown

Cinny91

I think once family lives more than a comfortable driving distance away 100 miles might as well be 1000, Shrimpy! It's going to be weird for sure. I text my Mum to invite her over for tea in a few weeks, as OH is away with work and I know my Dad will be at football. All I got in reply was "Am I meant to be bringing Laura too?" Whoops, forgot about her existence already :o

The visa restrictions are weird, Birdie! I'd just assume that if you're granted a spouse visa in one country.. it would just apply either way?! I just hope she gets a job quickly enough, as soon as she does her OH can get a travel visa for 6 months and come straight across.

We're looking at next Summer, CMD We just want to get as much money together as possible. Your house deposit is looking awesome too! Do you have in mind where you're wanting to buy?

clearmydebts

We know the location we want to buy Cinny. We want to buy a 4 bed semi-detached. Now that we've compromised on the area we should be stretched too much on the mortgage so can start to overpay straight away.

What kind of house do you want?

Dinah93

Life is far, far too busy and something has to give. I feel like I'm constantly chasing my tail and never catching up. I've spent almost all of this week doing a deep spring clean, our bedroom, Grace's bedroom, bathroom, kitchen and 90% of lounge done. Playroom still to do. Upstairs will be a lot easier as NIM has mostly done the study (possibly all done) and the bathroom won't take more than an hour or so. The guest room is a whole other matter but it doesn't need a clean so much as exorcism.

Took Grace to the cinema for the first time, a family screening at the local performance space type place, £3.50 a ticket so much more affordable than the usual cinema.

I'm having a real self sabotage issue at the moment, I feel like I'm so short of time what's the point in trying. So I'm spending too much, eating the wrong stuff, I wish I could get it together.

NIM brought up the idea last night of selling the house, buy another one to do up. I can see the logic but it's scary. We've just got it all done, we don't love it, but it has a lot of memories. I'm really on the fence but I'm happy to get someone around to value it. So to that end he's doing DIY and I'm cleaning and polishing, hopefully we might be able to get someone around in a few weeks.

Does anyone have any ideas for bending time? I refuse to give up on my time with the kids, or use the tv as a babysitter except for me to get a shower and dry my hair on a morning, and since I'm a stay at home basically that leaves me with cutting back on sleep to make my hour and a half on an evening longer to fit more in.

Dinah93

Oh and my car has yet another issue, we're thinking about selling it... but then we need to find the extra for a new one. It's 9 years old and has 132,000 on the clock, it just feels like we could easily spend £1500+ just keeping it on the road this year and we'd be better spending it on a newer car. It's not a big issue, we don't think, but it's getting to the age/milage where it just seems to be every month it has another problem. So that's more money we need to find, and can only do so if I can stop all the spending. I'm really feeling completely lost in it all at the moment.

NIM loves his new job, I hate it. He's forever being called in for a few hours, we can't make any plans as they keep changing his days with a few hours notice, and they won't say yay or nay if he can have one guaranteed day off a week so I can start this new job. Fed. Up.

clearmydebts

You do sound fed up. Big virtual hug from here!

You will get more time to yourself as the kiddies get older. Mine are really into role play and play together really well. They also have a bit of sense now so I can be tidying up and know they aren't trying to swallow everything on the floor! I think the phase you are in now with the kids is probably the most intense you'll have. They both need your attention and you don't get much time to yourself, but this intense time does pass.

Any chance you could arrange a cinema night with friends, afternoon tea, night in the pub? I go out with my friends to the cinema once every 6 weeks and I also go to an exercise class twice a week. It's really important for mental health to get out without the kids and clear the cobwebs xxx

Dinah93

Right, self picked up and given a good shake. Tomorrow I will:

• Spend nothing.
• Finish the lounge tidy/clean
• Finish the bathroom tidy (assuming NIM puts up the new shelves)
• Clean the microwave and kitchen window so that room is 100% complete
• Photograph all mugs that have been waiting to go on Etsy for months
• Log on the Etsy paypal account, withdraw money in there and send appropriate amount to dad

Ambitious list for someone with no time, but Grace is at the farm with her grandparents tomorrow, so I just have the wee man, and he's still small enough to sleep quite a bit, or wriggle on his playmat, or sit in his bouncy chair with a toy bar.... they're so much easier to handle before they can walk, or more accurately, climb, paint and destroy. Grace was upstairs at my mums for all of 4 minutes today on her own, mum says she always goes up to say hi to the cat, well we went up and she'd got into the wardrobe, into the craft box, laid out her piece of card on the new carpet and completely covered it, herself, the adjacent door, and a large amount of said carpet in neon pink paint. The worst Ben did today was spit up some milk on his tshirt!

Dinah93

clearmydebts wrote: »

You do sound fed up. Big virtual hug from here!

You will get more time to yourself as the kiddies get older. Mine are really into role play and play together really well. They also have a bit of sense now so I can be tidying up and know they aren't trying to swallow everything on the floor! I think the phase you are in now with the kids is probably the most intense you'll have. They both need your attention and you don't get much time to yourself, but this intense time does pass.

Any chance you could arrange a cinema night with friends, afternoon tea, night in the pub? I go out with my friends to the cinema once every 6 weeks and I also go to an exercise class twice a week. It's really important for mental health to get out without the kids and clear the cobwebs xxx

I actually went to the pub with some friends last night, a glass of wine, two whiskeys and a sticky toffee pudding - my idea of a good night. Very sedate now I'm old. Had a really good night, and spent under £30 (bought a drink for a friend whose birthday it is, my drinks and pudding, a coke for a friend who was driving as I was going to the bar anyway and I'd forgotten to bring the shoebox I'd promised for her child's school project, and then gave my remaining change to the friend who gave me a lift home as I was going to get a taxi... so actually I spent £30 on the nose. The thing is I'm happy with my life at the moment, so long as I don't have to think about trying to fit in any work or debt clearing activities, once I do suddenly the sides of my head feel like they're pressing inwards. If I could just live my life I'd be on cloud nine.

Lara44

Dinah you do SO MUCH more than me and I only have one kid!! It sounds like an interesting idea selling the house. Have you made some money you might be able to clear the debt with? Sorry for fed-upness, I get a bit stir crazy too.

Cinny, brill news about your sis!!!

Dinah93

Lara44 wrote: »

It sounds like an interesting idea selling the house. Have you made some money you might be able to clear the debt with?

From the house? We think it's come up in value though the work we've done probably in the region of £29-£35,0000. So if we sold we should have a decent pot of cash, but we'd need it to either go towards the purchase of the next house, or doing it up. I'd give my right arm to be able to buy another house and have enough left in the pot to clear the debt, but I just can't see it happening.

Dinah93

Dinah93 wrote: »

[STRIKE]
• Spend nothing. [/STRIKE] Proud, can't remember the last time I spent nothing in a day
• Finish the lounge tidy/clean Close but not there, haven't been able to mop the floor or dust all the tops
  [STRIKE]
• Finish the bathroom tidy (assuming NIM puts up the new shelves)[/STRIKE]So pleased with the new tidy, organised bathroom
• Clean the microwave and [STRIKE]kitchen window[/STRIKE] so that room is 100% complete
  [STRIKE]
• Photograph all mugs that have been waiting to go on Etsy for months [/STRIKE]
  [STRIKE]
• Log on the Etsy paypal account, withdraw money in there and send appropriate amount to dad[/STRIKE]

£119 for dad, £26 for me. Hasn't been long since the last withdrawal though.

Both bank accounts have tipped slightly into the red, less than £30 each but it's not a state I like to be in. I really need to start making more money to break us even.

The list making last night really helped, I found I was very focussed from early on. Ben woke me early and I was tidying and cleaning before 8am because I already knew what the plan was. However I worked as hard as I could and it still wasn't all done, which goes to show I set myself an impossible amount to do with 2 children, rather than I'm sat on my behind all day and then whinging nothing is done.

Tomorrow we're off to Newcastle to the Hancock to see the dinosaurs as Grace has been asking lots of dinosaur questions the last few days. Mum will drive as my car is going into the garage for repairs, and it's free entry. Mum always buys lunch too so I'm going to aim for another no spend day. I won't get too much done though with being out all day and NIM likely working late, so I'm on my own with the children all evening.

Technically NIM spent today, coffee with his former boss, loaf of bread, some flowers for me (he's a romantic at heart, but an MSE in the head, there were remnants of a yellow sticker!) but for me this isn't so much about having a no spend day, but for me to not spend on little bits of fabric, toys and books on amazon, baby wraps are my current big weakness - a real issue at £100-£140 a go and some months I've bought 4 or 5.

So for tomorrow:
Clean microwave
Put away all bedroom clothes
List 5 mugs on Etsy
Email ELC - got a 20% off code for Grace's birthday, however it wouldn't work. They told me once the order is dispatched my card will be charged, so email then and they will refund the 20%. I bought a few little bits to keep as stocking fillers for Christmas, and the Mr Maker craft box was half price in the sale so got that for her birthday. She's very into her arts and crafts at the moment when at home, so I'm sure she'll use it all. She's into most things to be honest, animals, reading, painting, gymnastics and her beloved ballet. Likes to ice skate, enjoyed her first cinema trip, happy at the park. She's an easy child to keep happy - so long as you're doing something every minute of every day!

Short list but I need it to be doable on a busy day. Anything else I get done will be considered a bonus.

Tried to book tickets to the yoga training course for the new job, but the lady who hired me says she can't book me on the course until I give her availability - no use training me if I can't do any useful hours basically. NIMs boss is away until Tuesday so I won't know until then at the earliest.