The Ultimate Incentive Part 11 (or 10B) It's The Final Countdown

clearmydebts

Dinah93 wrote: »

Both bank accounts have tipped slightly into the red, less than £30 each but it's not a state I like to be in. I really need to start making more money to break us even.

The list making last night really helped, I found I was very focussed from early on. Ben woke me early and I was tidying and cleaning before 8am because I already knew what the plan was. However I worked as hard as I could and it still wasn't all done, which goes to show I set myself an impossible amount to do with 2 children, rather than I'm sat on my behind all day and then whinging nothing is done.

Tomorrow we're off to Newcastle to the Hancock to see the dinosaurs as Grace has been asking lots of dinosaur questions the last few days. Mum will drive as my car is going into the garage for repairs, and it's free entry. Mum always buys lunch too so I'm going to aim for another no spend day. I won't get too much done though with being out all day and NIM likely working late, so I'm on my own with the children all evening.

Technically NIM spent today, coffee with his former boss, loaf of bread, some flowers for me (he's a romantic at heart, but an MSE in the head, there were remnants of a yellow sticker!) but for me this isn't so much about having a no spend day, but for me to not spend on little bits of fabric, toys and books on amazon, baby wraps are my current big weakness - a real issue at £100-£140 a go and some months I've bought 4 or 5.

So for tomorrow:
Clean microwave
Put away all bedroom clothes
List 5 mugs on Etsy
Email ELC - got a 20% off code for Grace's birthday, however it wouldn't work. They told me once the order is dispatched my card will be charged, so email then and they will refund the 20%. I bought a few little bits to keep as stocking fillers for Christmas, and the Mr Maker craft box was half price in the sale so got that for her birthday. She's very into her arts and crafts at the moment when at home, so I'm sure she'll use it all. She's into most things to be honest, animals, reading, painting, gymnastics and her beloved ballet. Likes to ice skate, enjoyed her first cinema trip, happy at the park. She's an easy child to keep happy - so long as you're doing something every minute of every day!

Short list but I need it to be doable on a busy day. Anything else I get done will be considered a bonus.

Tried to book tickets to the yoga training course for the new job, but the lady who hired me says she can't book me on the course until I give her availability - no use training me if I can't do any useful hours basically. NIMs boss is away until Tuesday so I won't know until then at the earliest.

Hi Dinah,

Might be a good idea to do a new SOA so we can see if we can help with that?

A few things occurred to me, and before I start, these are only being said with your best interests at heart, so feel free to ignore me if you want!

Selling the house - I think it's a great idea to get a valuation. I suppose you just need to be aware (I'm sure you are aware) of the stress of selling and then buying another house and trying to time it all, added to that the packing up of the house and also trying to keep it presentable for viewings. I suppose it all depends on the valuation but it might be better off to wait until NIM's job settles down a bit and ou feel more in control. I just worry that you will take it on and it might be the tipping point?

Work - not sure what your financial situation is but do you need to work? Can NIM's job cover the bills and the debt repayments? If you clear the debt can you survive on his wage? It seems to me that you are doing bits and pieces of work to bring in the money, but would a part-time job (with set hours) be an option? Personally I work days a week and I find that great. I do my days and then come home and have 5 days with the kids, rather than trying to fit in bits and pieces of work around when they are in play school. When my OH worked abroad for the year I used to do my current job from home. It was 7 hours per week and I used to try and fit it in around naps or when the kids had gone to bed (I was on my own during the week so had to do it all). I was absolutely exhausted with the stress of it all. When I started doing the 2 office days the stress was lifted completely. I am lucky that the kids are minded by their Nana and Great aunt but at the beginning we used childminders.

Another thing that I've stopped doing is buying gifts for Xmas when I see money off etc. When you are in debt it doesn't matter if there is money off, it's a false economy, you are just adding to the debt. Plus I found with the kids that their tastes change so much at a young age that something that was gotten in a sale months previously isn't necessarily what they would like now. I have started to save a bit per month in a present fund so I can buy something for the person at the time, or nearer to the time. It hit a nerve when you said about buying stuff all the time; not so long ago that was me. Hence the shopping ban I have imposed on myself. It was a habit for me, but it really has impacted on our credit card balance.

Hope all or some of this is making sense.

Birdie85

Wise words from CMD I agree with stopping buying presents all year. It's a vicious cycle, we complain about the children having too much stuff and no money, buy them stuff for birthdays and Christmas and 'Just Because', then complain about having so much stuff and no money! It's true about it being a false economy too, better to put a little money aside and buy what you can afford for birthdays and Christmas rather than add to your debt/take away from debt repayment throughout the year.

And STOP buying wraps! Seriously, they're so expensive and it's a treat you can't afford. You have plenty. You justify it by saying it's for the baby but mostly it's because they're pretty and you like them. Would you/NIM be happy if you bought 4-5 pairs of expensive shoes every month? No. This is the same thing essentially. Tough love but you need it, I'm sorry. Choose 2/3 favourites and sell the rest. Every time you see a new one that you fancy, put the money in a savings account/pay off the CC instead.

Enjoy your day out today, hope Gracie likes the dinosaurs and good luck getting your list finished. Hope NIM's work settles down, maybe he should give them a month or so 'settling in' time then say that as a family man he needs set hours and nothing more.

wendz86

Sounds like you are doing loads already so I agree with the others. I have to fit in housework on a weekend day and usually end up with Poppy following me around 'helping' as she isn't great at playing on her own. Otherwise I have to fit everything in the evening after she has gone to bed . To be honest I probably do a minimum when it comes to housework but we are out most the week so guess it doesn't get as bad.

Do you think it would be worth waiting a while till the kids are older for the house thing as sounds like it would be quite a lot of work.

tinkerbel

Wow, I've missed so much!! I hope can remember everything I want to say..!

Cinny - that sounds great that your sister is coming home!! Is she happy about it or are they leaving the US on a bad note? I hope she is happy!! What kind of work will she be looking for in the UK? It will be SO nice to have her back nearby again!!

CMD and Cinny your house deposit funds are really looking good!! well done! a large chunk of mine (it is house savings and also general really) has just been allocated to a holiday eeek! I think we got a good price though and just hope food and other bits while we are away aren't too expensive.. also need to book a cheap hire car.. the rest of the fund is okay but when there are no plans to buy in the near future it all feels a little futile really.. I have so many more holidays in my head that I want to go on...!! New York is definitely on the agenda once the weather gets a little warmer!

Dinah congratulations on the job!! I didn't really know you were into yoga but that sounds excellent! well done!! I think it will be fab to have that bit of time away from the house and to build up a skill / keep something on your CV will be good too! And it seems the mug business is ticking over too if you get to make regular withdrawals and hopefully it will grow without so that the same designs are making you more money for less effort going forwards (if that makes sense)

I have to say that on some of the other bits, i really agree with CMD and Birdie with the tough love. I think you know it too really which is probably a bit annoying as (I know I do this) I feel angsty and mad at myself which is the worst!

I think it is best to perhaps get the house valued, but just for 'fun'. You have so much going on with two littlies that it might be best to wait until Grace is in School (or about to go to school if you need to move nearer to a school you want her to go to) because some of my friends are buying and even just single people/couples buying places, it is super stressful! Also i don't know what the market is like (a quick look online suggests a 11% increase compared to 4 years ago in the place I think you live) which might not really be enough once you consider the stamp duty on a new place, the fees and the stress of viewings/moving.. Obviously you know best though!!

Also with the slings/baby wraps.. wow i did not know they were that expensive, or that you bought so many!! definitely get those ones you sold followed up and start collecting some of the cash back!! I think Birdie made a great analogy with the shoes and while I don't want to sound negative, I think that that is an obscene amount of money (the 4 x £100 - £140 PER MONTH is sticking in my head !!) obviously don't know anything about them but that sounds like a lot. I don't have a house or any kids or any (except a humungous student loan which I am choosing to ignore at the moment) and I don't spend anything like that on myself/treats per month. Why don't you just try to not buy any but try to 're-discover' the ones you have for a few months? This is what I do when I want new shoes/boots/dresses, I just look in the older stuff in the wardrobe and usually find something I had previously forgotten about which is pretty decent... I'm anxious I sound really harsh but i truly mean this in a nice way like I hope you would say to one of us if/when we need it..

you put me to shame though with all of the things you manage to cram into a day - its so much! I literally go to work, come home, make some rubbish food and go to bed usually! I can't wait until the weather is warmer and the evenings are lighter.. it feels so dull at the moment and no-one seems to be in a good mood I have a few weekends to look forward to though and have planned to go to my mums for four days at Easter which will be nice

Wendz that sounds fabulous with the baby doing well ! Is Poppy looking forward to being a big sister?

Lara44

Dinah93 wrote: »

From the house? We think it's come up in value though the work we've done probably in the region of £29-£35,0000. So if we sold we should have a decent pot of cash, but we'd need it to either go towards the purchase of the next house, or doing it up. I'd give my right arm to be able to buy another house and have enough left in the pot to clear the debt, but I just can't see it happening.

That's quite a lot of increased value Plus you've got your original deposit and the several years of equity from your standard mortgage repayments. Would it be worth getting an agent in just to see? I am so nosey I would also just be curious. I do take CMD's point about it being very stressful though!

I guess another concern is could you get another mortgage with NIM's salary only? Maybe it's more of a medium term plan?

Oooh wrap addiction. I'm gutted I never got on with wrapping, I imagined myself to be a wrapping Mama but I'm a full buckle girl in the end How many have you got? Enough to hire them out as a sling library and make some £££ :j

clearmydebts

Hi Dinah,

Hope all is okay and the valuation went well.

Dinah93

clearmydebts wrote: »

Hi Dinah,

Might be a good idea to do a new SOA so we can see if we can help with that?

I will in a few weeks, we don't know what NIMs new wage will be yet, and his february wage packet won't be a full month's. Also my SMP ends on 7th March

A few things occurred to me, and before I start, these are only being said with your best interests at heart, so feel free to ignore me if you want!

Selling the house - I think it's a great idea to get a valuation. I suppose you just need to be aware (I'm sure you are aware) of the stress of selling and then buying another house and trying to time it all, added to that the packing up of the house and also trying to keep it presentable for viewings. I suppose it all depends on the valuation but it might be better off to wait until NIM's job settles down a bit and ou feel more in control. I just worry that you will take it on and it might be the tipping point?

No I see where you're coming from, I do think it would be a lot to take on at this point. I don't see the harm in getting the valuation though, just so we know where we stand.

Work - not sure what your financial situation is but do you need to work? Can NIM's job cover the bills and the debt repayments? If you clear the debt can you survive on his wage? It seems to me that you are doing bits and pieces of work to bring in the money, but would a part-time job (with set hours) be an option? Personally I work days a week and I find that great. I do my days and then come home and have 5 days with the kids, rather than trying to fit in bits and pieces of work around when they are in play school. When my OH worked abroad for the year I used to do my current job from home. It was 7 hours per week and I used to try and fit it in around naps or when the kids had gone to bed (I was on my own during the week so had to do it all). I was absolutely exhausted with the stress of it all. When I started doing the 2 office days the stress was lifted completely. I am lucky that the kids are minded by their Nana and Great aunt but at the beginning we used childminders.

NIMs wage more than covers our bills, I have no need to work I just quite like the sound of this job. I'm going to be working one day a week, possibly one and a half, more than that isn't an option really, putting two of them into childcare would have cancelled out my nearly £30k wage, and I doubt I'd be on that with anything I find now. The other issue is hospital appointments, with me working one day a week and NIM having them then he can do appointments that day, and I can do the others. There hasn't been a week this year we haven't had at least 2 appointments, it's a lot to expect an employer to be giving me time off for 2,3,4 times a week so I can take them. None of them are likely to be ending in the next year either, many of them will go on for at least the next 3 years. Perils of preemies.

Another thing that I've stopped doing is buying gifts for Xmas when I see money off etc. When you are in debt it doesn't matter if there is money off, it's a false economy, you are just adding to the debt. Plus I found with the kids that their tastes change so much at a young age that something that was gotten in a sale months previously isn't necessarily what they would like now. I have started to save a bit per month in a present fund so I can buy something for the person at the time, or nearer to the time. It hit a nerve when you said about buying stuff all the time; not so long ago that was me. Hence the shopping ban I have imposed on myself. It was a habit for me, but it really has impacted on our credit card balance.

Hope all or some of this is making sense.

Makes sense, and I always appreciate your advice as I think we're often quite closely aligned on values. Most of what I bought goes in the present box for other children's birthdays, I'd run it down in the last few months. I never buy toys at full price, even things I want for Grace and Ben I set up alerts on camelcamelcamel for amazon. Still Grace's birthday is in a month, it was between 50% and 75% off and I had a 20% off code on top of that.

Birdie85 wrote: »

And STOP buying wraps! Seriously, they're so expensive and it's a treat you can't afford. You have plenty. You justify it by saying it's for the baby but mostly it's because they're pretty and you like them. Would you/NIM be happy if you bought 4-5 pairs of expensive shoes every month? No. This is the same thing essentially. Tough love but you need it, I'm sorry. Choose 2/3 favourites and sell the rest. Every time you see a new one that you fancy, put the money in a savings account/pay off the CC instead.

Oh I never say it's for the baby! I know one is the same as another to him/her. But I do use different lengths for Ben and for Grace, and NIM carries them too and he has a much longer length than I use. But it is different to shoes in that most of them go up in value not down, if I sold my collection now I guarantee I'd get more back that what I paid for it. That said I don't need as many as I have and I'm going to sell some of the ones that have gone up in value the most. I've sold a few lately but two of them on payment plans, so I'm still holding onto the slings until the last payments come in.

Dinah93 wrote: »

So for tomorrow:
Clean microwave
[STRIKE]Put away all bedroom clothes [/STRIKE]
List 5 mugs on Etsy
[STRIKE]Email ELC[/STRIKE] But don't think the refund has actually come through so need to email again

Giving up all chemicals/processed food for lent. Had yet another migraine today. I don't let my kids eat these things so why do I? Basically if it has an ingredient I can't pronounce/wouldn't be out of place in a lab/you wouldn't have in your fridge anyway I'm not eating it.

Confirmed on the training course for the new job, it looks like I'll be working Mondays and Friday afternoons with possibly Saturday mornings in the future. I've also said I'll do holiday/sickness cover if it fits in with NIMs shifts that week. Very weird to be going back to work, especially the idea of work being fun!

Been very, very good since my last post. No unnecessary spending (needed milk and ham but for me it's about cutting out frivolities not the idea of no spends entirely).

Car is costing £210 to repair, it needs the suspension arm doing as well as the brake shoes and disks.

This post has taken all day to write, between migraine and the stroppiest baby on earth. So it may not be the most coherent and I apologise!

Dinah93

Right for tomorrow:
Clean microwave
General house tidy
Summon up the enthusiasm to plan some meals
Tesco order
Book flights to Ireland for cousin's wedding (currently an aerlingus sale on until Monday so it's coming in at £232 for the 4 of us where it was over £400 when we looked a few weeks ago).
Book hotel/train for yoga training course (hotel is reimbursed, car would be about £12 cheaper but I don't really trust myself to drive 3.5 hours setting out at about 5.30am, I think I'd struggle to focus)
Either: List some mugs/sort out the paperwork mountain/list the box of snowsuits on ebay

Will be in in the morning as the boiler man is coming for the service, but then taking Grace to soft play with one of her friends in the afternoon. So going to do a few Chinese New Year type activities with Grace and hopefully get some jobs done too.

clearmydebts

Dinah93 wrote: »

Makes sense, and I always appreciate your advice as I think we're often quite closely aligned on values. Most of what I bought goes in the present box for other children's birthdays, I'd run it down in the last few months. I never buy toys at full price, even things I want for Grace and Ben I set up alerts on camelcamelcamel for amazon. Still Grace's birthday is in a month, it was between 50% and 75% off and I had a 20% off code on top of that.



Oh I never say it's for the baby! I know one is the same as another to him/her. But I do use different lengths for Ben and for Grace, and NIM carries them too and he has a much longer length than I use. But it is different to shoes in that most of them go up in value not down, if I sold my collection now I guarantee I'd get more back that what I paid for it. That said I don't need as many as I have and I'm going to sell some of the ones that have gone up in value the most. I've sold a few lately but two of them on payment plans, so I'm still holding onto the slings until the last payments come in.



Giving up all chemicals/processed food for lent. Had yet another migraine today. I don't let my kids eat these things so why do I? Basically if it has an ingredient I can't pronounce/wouldn't be out of place in a lab/you wouldn't have in your fridge anyway I'm not eating it.

Confirmed on the training course for the new job, it looks like I'll be working Mondays and Friday afternoons with possibly Saturday mornings in the future. I've also said I'll do holiday/sickness cover if it fits in with NIMs shifts that week. Very weird to be going back to work, especially the idea of work being fun!

Been very, very good since my last post. No unnecessary spending (needed milk and ham but for me it's about cutting out frivolities not the idea of no spends entirely).

Car is costing £210 to repair, it needs the suspension arm doing as well as the brake shoes and disks.

This post has taken all day to write, between migraine and the stroppiest baby on earth. So it may not be the most coherent and I apologise!

The post makes total sense to me, but then I've had a very poorly 4 year old for the last few days so maybe I'm talking gaga too!

The yoga job sounds brilliant and more importantly sounds fun too! I love my job, I would find it extremely hard to jump out of bed on my 2 workdays if I didn't. Life is too short.

So have you any idea when you will get the house valued? It will be great to see what it is worth, will provide some clarity anyway

Dinah93

Dinah93 wrote: »

Right for tomorrow:
Clean microwave
[STRIKE]General house tidy [/STRIKE]
[STRIKE]Summon up the enthusiasm to plan some meals [/STRIKE]
[STRIKE]Tesco order [/STRIKE]
[STRIKE]Book flights to Ireland for cousin's wedding (currently an aerlingus sale on until Monday so it's coming in at £232 for the 4 of us where it was over £400 when we looked a few weeks ago). [/STRIKE]
[STRIKE]Book hotel[/STRIKE]/train for yoga training course (hotel is reimbursed, car would be about £12 cheaper but I don't really trust myself to drive 3.5 hours setting out at about 5.30am, I think I'd struggle to focus)
Either: List some mugs/sort out the paperwork mountain/list the box of snowsuits on ebay

Will be in in the morning as the boiler man is coming for the service, but then taking Grace to soft play with one of her friends in the afternoon. So going to do a few Chinese New Year type activities with Grace and hopefully get some jobs done too.

Train ticket not booked as I haven't received the email yet which says the finishing time of the course.

Lots of New Year fun done but not enough of the list. Still they're only young once and I won't sacrifice their fun time for chores if I can help it, my time is fine but I want them to have as much fun as possible growing up. Took Grace to soft play at the local garden centre this afternoon, never been to that one before, was a very reasonable £1.50, and she loved it even though it was small, but the cafe was amazingly expensive - £3 for a J20 - I only got 2 J2O's and a biscuit for Grace and it came to £8.75!

I may need to accept until Grace is back at nursery I just need to pootle along, keep the house neat and then on Monday I can start doing some extras again.

Proud to say another day with no other spends though. For me 4 days in a row is unheard of. NIM had some spends yesterday, just nappies, milk, broccoli and potatoes, as well as coffee at another soft play (we spend £12 a month so she has unlimited access to that one with NIM, they go 2-3 times a week)

So tomorrow:
Clean that stupid microwave
General house tidy
Fold all NIMs t-shirts
Book train
Wrap up all amazon returns
Wrap up sold amazon parcel
Do medicash claim for contact lenses
Book to see acupuncturist/sports masseuse to work out why I have so much pain in lower back (paid for by medicash)
Find diary (I have a horrible feeling there was a hospital appointment today. In fact I'm fairly certain of it)
Pair up the sock mountain
Make a to do list from all the email reminders I've sent myself in the last week

Longer list tomorrow but lots of very bitty things. NIM is working 10am - 8pm so on my own again, there's a gym class at the local college that's only £2 so might take Grace to that in the morning, but should have a bit more time at home. I've set up a sensory play area to amuse her for hopefully an hour or so tomorrow too.