Should my flatmate's partner contribute to cost of bills?

Pollycat

You've titled your post "Get real".
Really?
My response to you in red:

carmelbrulez wrote: »

Firstly, only the owner of the property is allowed to charge people to use the place.
The OP isn't wanting to charge her for using the place - she's asking for advice on whether she should ask for a contribution.
The rent will - obviously - stay the same.

As far as he or she is concerned you have an agreement with him and you have to stick to it or be thrown out.
The OP does not have an issue with the landlord or the rent charged.
She is perfectly entitled to broach the subject of her flatmate's friend contributing to any additional cost.

Visitors do not pay rent. You must have visitors sometimes.
She's not a visitor, she's regularly staying overnight in a flat that does not have her on the tenancy agreement

I'm sure that if the OP had visitors that stayed as regularly as her flatmate's friend, then there wouldn't be an issue.

Are you saying that when someone visits you you want to charge them to use the toilet or water or gas or electricity or hve a shower?
Ridiculous analogy and nothing like what the OP is saying.

If your flat mate has a partner who uses the room with them how does this cost you money? It does not.
Yes it does if she consumes food bought by the OP and the flatmate.
Yes it does if she uses the shower - last time I looked water wasn't free nor was electricity.

If they park their car where you want to park yours then you tell them not to - it is about being firm and tactful not turning it into a financial thing.
Who mentioned parking cars? Certainly not the OP.

Nobody is going to pay to use your place on top of paying for their own place.
Then the OP's flatmate should spend more time in the place she is paying for.

Presumably your flat mate will get fed up with sharing with you two and having his partner around a lot anyway and they will move out and find somewhere that is more suited to a pair.
Yes, that may happen. Or the OP may decide to move in with her boyfriend or even get a different flatmate to share with.

If you want to stay friends with them then instead of looking at this as a financial thing where you make a profit - which I doubt their partner will be daft enough to go along with anyway
I don't see it as the OP wanting to make a profit at all.
-
remember that these things happen when you share. If you want it to be perfect to suit you then do not share and have all of the expense yourself.
The OP contracted to sharing a flat with 1 person, not 1 person plus the girlfriend.
I'm sure she was aware of what it means to share a place -and must have been happy with the original arrangement.

I used to rent out rooms in a large house I owned. The house had an enormous kitchen. I soon learnt that it was a mistake to allow people who rented a room off of me to share the kitchen.
They would take over some of the fridge, freezer, use all of my pans and plates and cutlery, often leaving washing up, wanting to cook when I was cooking, wanting to sit in the kitchen watching tv for hours, food disappearing from the cupboards and fridge etc in other words taking the room over.
Telling them they have to pay would have been ridiculous and would not have given me my kitchen back. So I brought in a rule that they either ate out all the time or they had a meal that I prepared and they paid for. They could not cook in their room or i the kitchen or eat in the kitchen.
That is a totally different situation.

You need boundaries and rules, you cannot remove them in place of a few pounds.
The OP's flatmate also needs boundaries and rules.

But what your flat mate wants to do in his or her own bedroom should be up to them. I do not see how you can complain if they have someone in there every night if they are paying their share. If they want to sit in the kitchen or lounge whre you are then taht is different, they are invading your space.
We don't know if the flatmate & his friend spend all their time in his room/space.

carmelbrulez wrote: »

p.s.

Instead of getting angry if she uses the washing machine and worrying about the cost just say she cannot use it and can use her own in her place.

Did the OP say she was angry?

Did the OP mention the washing machine?

You appear to have read a lot into the OP's initial post that I can't see.

BoJangles_2

carmelbrulez wrote: »

p.s.


Instead of getting angry if she uses the washing machine and worrying about the cost just say she cannot use it and can use her own in her place.

Not 'if' they want to remain friends....

PILES

The next time your visitor is there ask for a key to her place. Just point out that it is closer to your work (;) ) and you are sure she would not mind you having the same benefits as she currently does.

fairy_lights

carmelbrulez wrote: »

I used to rent out rooms in a large house I owned. The house had an enormous kitchen. I soon learnt that it was a mistake to allow people who rented a room off of me to share the kitchen.
They would take over some of the fridge, freezer, use all of my pans and plates and cutlery, often leaving washing up, wanting to cook when I was cooking, wanting to sit in the kitchen watching tv for hours, food disappearing from the cupboards and fridge etc in other words taking the room over.
Telling them they have to pay would have been ridiculous and would not have given me my kitchen back. So I brought in a rule that they either ate out all the time or they had a meal that I prepared and they paid for. They could not cook in their room or i the kitchen or eat in the kitchen.

Letting rooms in your house but banning your tenants from using the kitchen is just nuts.

BoJangles_2

fairy_lights wrote: »

Letting rooms in your house but banning your tenants from using the kitchen is just nuts.

Absolutely!

Unless, of course, other amenities were provided.

TBagpuss

I would suggest that you first try to work out whether her being there is actually increasing the bills at all or not.
As a previous poster said, if she is often there when you and her BF are not, they that may make a significant difference to the bills.
Equally, if she was routinely brining big loads of washing and tumble drying that could make a big difference, and if you are on a water meter, then having 3 rather than 2 people taking showers evey day could make a big difference.
If you and your flatmate have a house 'kitty' for the cost of things such as loo roll and so forth then again, an extra person adds to the cost.

So for me, step one is to work out what the additional cost of her being there is, and then have a conversation with your flatmate about it.

if there are other things which are bothering you about her spending so much time there, be honest with your self about that. (i.e., if what really bugs you is that she's always there, and you don't feel you can relax and use your own home, then having an extra fiver towards the water bill is not going to solve the issue.)

If there are other factors, then think about how they could be addressed, and then have a chat with your flat mate. Be ready to consider other options and compromises, but if you start out with a clear idea about what things you are unhappy with and with workable ways of dealing with them, and be prepared to consider alternative options, you are more likely to be able to come to an agreement.

jgriggle

If the bills have gone up then it's a conversation which needs to be had, however if the partner's working as well then the chances are the heating's not going on any more than it was, they probably cook together so the fuel used to cook one meal is the same as two or three.

Unless the partner spends ages in the shower, or does a job which means he has to wash filthy work clothes every day I wouldn't worry too much about the financial side.

However, be careful about the day-to-day side of things - as others have said a couple can end up taking over a house leaving you feeling like their lodger. Make a point of NEVER feeling like you should go to your room in the evening to give them 'privacy' in the living room.

wrinkleycat

carmelbrulez wrote: »

I used to rent out rooms in a large house I owned. The house had an enormous kitchen. I soon learnt that it was a mistake to allow people who rented a room off of me to share the kitchen.
They would take over some of the fridge, freezer, use all of my pans and plates and cutlery, often leaving washing up, wanting to cook when I was cooking, wanting to sit in the kitchen watching tv for hours, food disappearing from the cupboards and fridge etc in other words taking the room over.
Telling them they have to pay would have been ridiculous and would not have given me my kitchen back. So I brought in a rule that they either ate out all the time or they had a meal that I prepared and they paid for. They could not cook in their room or i the kitchen or eat in the kitchen.


.

You sound like a right barrel of laughs to live with

Talent

You are being mugged so don't be a mug....

paul_k

Without any doubt,everyone living /staying in the flat should pay
If you are paying 50/50 now for two and a third comes to stay,well its now one third each ! simples ! no way do you subsidise another.This is common sense.
I speak as a landlord,I did share my house before letting it to a family.One day my lodger had his girl friend stay ,she was using gas/electric showers ,baths,well its not on !He was evicted !

Dont be a fool,you will end up paying extra fuel etc then there are council tax costs (if you now pay )
My rule is easy the bills are split between all who live there !