Dilemma

swingaloo

There are some very harsh remarks on here about it not being my business and me not being sure of my facts neither of which is true or fair.


As for seeing the bank statement, it wasn't really possible not to.


Since I posted yesterday our friend has been to see us because he as well has seen the bank statement and is fuming. He has also found out some other things which he has shared with us as we are the ones he turns to when there is a problem.


Im now in a position where I don't need to do anything at all as the ball is now in his court as to how he deals with her dishonesty.


As I said before there is a lot more to this which he has previously discussed with us and when I discovered the latest yesterday I didn't want to pour more oil on his already troubled waters.


But I posted asking for advice, I wasn't 'assuming' anything, I simply stated the facts I knew for sure.


My only concern is helping a friend who is being taken for a ride by a dishonest partner.

Poppie68

I would of advised you to of reported your suspicions...if everyone minded there own business and looked away some fraudsters would carry on stealing from the state...I'm sure no one would say or look the other way if they knew or suspected someone else stealing from a bank account...... It's no different.

swingaloo

Thanks Poppie68, at least someone understands Im not just being nosey and trying to make 2+2=5.


Im just very concerned for a friend who is being used and possibly dropped into a lot of trouble because he cant, in his words, 'Bring himself to throw her out on the street' and it is my business if the friend unloads all his worries and makes it my business.

AngelOfTheNorth

swingaloo wrote: »

There are some very harsh remarks on here about it not being my business and me not being sure of my facts neither of which is true or fair.

Ok, so in what way is it your business? Also, I find it quite hard to believe you know for certain she walked out of her last job, for example. Or are you now going to drip feed us that you were there when it happened?

swingaloo wrote: »

As for seeing the bank statement, it wasn't really possible not to.

No. The sort of detail you claim to have seen, you looked at it while it was out. It may not have been possible not to notice the statement was there, it was possible not to look as closely at it as you did. You need to own that.

AngelOfTheNorth

Poppie68 wrote: »

I would of advised you to of reported your suspicions...if everyone minded there own business and looked away some fraudsters would carry on stealing from the state...I'm sure no one would say or look the other way if they knew or suspected someone else stealing from a bank account...... It's no different.

Actually, it's totally different, as is 'knowing' from 'suspecting'. And if everyone reported every suspicion they ever had to the state, considering how poorly informed a lot of people are, the system would collapse under the weight of baseless suspicions and pointless investigations. Not that it really matters here, as OP has introduced a convenient get out...

swingaloo

AngelOfTheNorth wrote: »

Ok, so in what way is it your business?


Have you read my last post- Its my business because my friend has made it my business over the last 6 months whilst numerous things which Im not going to go into on here have been going on which he has confided in me about. Are you the type of person who will sit back and let a friend of yours get hurt and set up by someone else and just turn a blind eye because I am not.




Also, I find it quite hard to believe you know for certain she walked out of her last job, for example. Or are you now going to drip feed us that you were there when it happened?



I don't know why Im needing to defend myself on this! But anyway as you find it hard to believe I will explain how I know.
She sat in my lounge 2 days after she walked out telling us all about it, she had a row with the boss and told her to stuff the job because she had been reprimanded for shouting at another member of staff. That came straight from her lips so wether you 'find it hard to believe' or not that is a fact!




No. The sort of detail you claim to have seen, you looked at it while it was out. It may not have been possible not to notice the statement was there, it was possible not to look as closely at it as you did. You need to own that.[/QUOTE]


I didn't need to 'look closely' it was 2 foot in front of me.

Just for the record 'Where you there?'

Mojisola

swingaloo wrote: »

A friend of ours has a partner who we feel is taking him for a ride and I feel sure she is about to land him an a whole lot of trouble.

I know from other things that have happened that she is a very dishonest person and now I have a dilemma

I know I could ignore it but as I know that our friend is getting tax credits Im sure that not only is she making a fraudulent claim but also that his claim for tax credits will also be wrong as her income would be offset against it.

swingaloo wrote: »

Since I posted yesterday our friend has been to see us because he as well has seen the bank statement and is fuming. He has also found out some other things which he has shared with us as we are the ones he turns to when there is a problem.

Im now in a position where I don't need to do anything at all as the ball is now in his court as to how he deals with her dishonesty.

My only concern is helping a friend who is being taken for a ride by a dishonest partner.

I'd much rather have a friend like you who looked out for my interests than the other posters who would have kept quiet.

Many years ago, a close relative was devastated when his wife left him with loads of unpaid bills and was completely crushed when he found that several of their close friends knew what she was doing but hadn't said anything to him.

AngelOfTheNorth

You would have needed to look closely at a bank statement two feet in front of you to see entries like Carers Allowance, yes. Unless it was in like size 96 font. One doesn't need to have been there, only to have some familiarity with bank statements and human eyesight. As such, you nosied at someone else's bank statement, which you had no business doing. Backtracking won't work.

Poppie68

I actually wrote knew or 'suspected' money being taken from a bank account...and again if people suspect even without knowing the full facts it should be reported, after all something must get their attention to suspect it in the first place....if everyone waited until they had 100% evidence more people would be getting away with theft.

Pollycat

swingaloo wrote: »

Any advice/opinions please.

swingaloo wrote: »

There are some very harsh remarks on here about it not being my business and me not being sure of my facts neither of which is true or fair.

Just hang on for one minute here.

You asked for advice/opinions.

You got advice/opinions.

Just because everybody didn't rise up as one and urge you to report this woman, doesn't mean the responses were harsh.

It just means that other posters don't agree with you.

swingaloo wrote: »

As for seeing the bank statement, it wasn't really possible not to.

It was on the coffee table.
Unless you have excellent eyesight, of course it was possible not to look.
Even if you have excellent eyesight, it would have been obvious it was a bank statement and you didn't need to look.
You wanted to look.

swingaloo wrote: »

Since I posted yesterday our friend has been to see us because he as well has seen the bank statement and is fuming. He has also found out some other things which he has shared with us as we are the ones he turns to when there is a problem.

Im now in a position where I don't need to do anything at all as the ball is now in his court as to how he deals with her dishonesty.

That's pretty good (not to mention convenient) timing.

swingaloo wrote: »

As I said before there is a lot more to this which he has previously discussed with us and when I discovered the latest yesterday I didn't want to pour more oil on his already troubled waters.

I'm curious as to what advice you were expecting then.
You didn't want to tell him.
But you hate benefit cheats.

swingaloo wrote: »

But I posted asking for advice, I wasn't 'assuming' anything, I simply stated the facts I knew for sure.

My only concern is helping a friend who is being taken for a ride by a dishonest partner.

So if you 'knew the facts for sure' why would you baulk at telling your friend?
Especially as he'd previously shared some information about his partner with you.
You didn't sound that sure in your first post.