Common law rights

Kynthia

You should have a will, and ask your solicitor for advice in the meantime about ensuring your partner couldn't contest it or sue your estate for support (I've heard this happening when a partner was financially dependent on the deceased yet wasn't in the will). Don't allow your partner to contribute to any major works incase he sues saying he has a beneficial interest in the property. Consider getting a cohabitation agreement signed which makes it clear he's not entitled to a share of the place. Do not get married as prenups can be overridden by divorce courts so there's no way to ensure your husband wouldn't be able to claim a share of your assets.

Kayalana99

Just take your time, let him move in for a few years and see how you go. You might find being sensible with money will rub of on him, or you may find that it drives you insane when he can't pay his half towards the electric bill.

Just remember their is no rush to get engaged and get married, me and my OH were quite young when we got together, but roll on 20 years it would probably of been similar situations as OH was already in minimal debt when he met me on a full time wage with no out goings but money wise we have grown on each other and I'm a little less frugal and he's....improved...greatly.

Personally, I just don't think you can really know someone until you've lived with them.

sulphate

Mojisola wrote: »

For me, the issue isn't that he doesn't have as much money as she does; it's because he's reckless with money.

If the would-be husband was willing to change his ways and not become a financial drain on the OP, why doesn't he start now and prove to himself and her that he can be financially responsible?

Exactly, someone can be poor and still be financially responsible.

This guy is in a lot of debt with no stable income, and simply won't be able to contribute to the OP's household when he moves in. This will likely lead to friction and resentment long-term unless he makes an effort to change his ways. Getting a job would be a good start.

rumncoke222

Hi i Do appreciate your comments honestly, he is hopeless I agree, well this year he's decided to sort himself out, time will tell I Suppose.

to answer your questions Filey, i Suppose my answers will tell you all to tell me to run away even faster, but here goes.

I've known him a year, he's always been irresponsible with money, it's been the curse of him all his life from what i can make out.

I've made a will yes, with my children as beneficiaries, he's 41 and I'm 52.

He doesn't claim benefits, he has done once or twice but it has to be done online, they then arrange an interview but in the meantime agency work comes in for him so it rarely gets to the getting any cash stage, but sometimes he has weeks with no income at all seriously, and money may not be everything but he still has to eat and pay rent. Hence he's lived in about 12 or more places in the last 5 years as the rent doesn't get paid!

So I May come across as a mug, I'm not I'm quite smart really and I Know he thinks the world of me, he has proved that in other ways but this is the reason he can't hold down a relationship.

InsideInsurance

Mojisola wrote: »

For me, the issue isn't that he doesn't have as much money as she does; it's because he's reckless with money.

The OP's original post here is insufficient to say that he is reckless, just says he has debts, CCJs and no perm job. For all we knew he may have given up work to look after a terminally ill partner/ child and has struggled to get back into employment afterwards. Its very harsh to say just because someone has current issues that they have automatically been reckless.

Now, the above subsequent post would suggest its possibly been recklessness but that wasnt available when everyone else was posting about running a mile or kicking him into touch etc. Bit sad that everyone always assumes the worst even if it does subsequently get proven to be true.

Peter333

InsideInsurance wrote: »

I know this is MSE but really? Even for here judging the value of a partner purely by the size of their wallet is low.

Assuming the OP has any emotional consideration as to who their partner is then they would be best to get proper legal advice. Prenuptual agreements do have some legal standing (as per http://www.theguardian.com/money/2014/feb/27/pre-numpial-agreements-legally-binding-divorce-law-commission) but cannot be as sweeping as simply saying the partner gets nothing at all on divorce

I would proceed with a certain amount of caution if with someone who has historic financial issues but certainly wouldnt run a mile just because of that.

Virtually EVERY person on this thread has said the same as me; run a mile, he sounds reckless, be careful etc, and he seems to be a waster- and yet I am the ONLY one you have called LOW for saying what I said.

Any particular reason for singling me out?

Serious question.

Peter333

No reason. Obviously.

Fact is, everyone agrees.

Nuff said.

surveyqueenuk

I don't agree.

He clearly wants to work so I wouldn't call him a waster. He just needs to secure a permanent full time job. I know that this is difficult in the current climate though.

Maybe, just maybe, he loves OP and wants to spend the rest of his life with her?

sulphate

surveyqueenuk wrote: »

I don't agree.

He clearly wants to work so I wouldn't call him a waster. He just needs to secure a permanent full time job. I know that this is difficult in the current climate though.

Maybe, just maybe, he loves OP and wants to spend the rest of his life with her?

That's lovely and everything but there is more to a relationship than just loving someone, compatibility in all areas is important and any relationship will come under strain if one person is very good with money and the other is in serious debt with no income.

pollypenny

Well I may be cynical, but the age difference just reinforces my feeling!

The guy is seeing OP's pound signs!

One CCJ perhaps I some have sympathy, but not numerous CCJs.