Common law rights

bossymoo

Crikey, I'd be very wary! Of course he wants to move in, it will be rent free!

People like that don't change because they get bailed out - the change has to come from within. Ask anyone on the DFW board expect it would be difficult to remain financially separate whilst living together.

It would be a definite no-no for me. Or a "sort out these problems and then we'll reconsider". Not working, lots of debt, rent arrears - alarm bells anyone?

sulphate

As you have pointed out, your financial circumstances are very different to the extent where you may find you are incompatible in this area if you move in together. I would think very carefully before progressing further in this relationship.

RAS

He will bleed you dry, then divorce you for half your assets.

rumncoke222

Hey, you lot are more cynical than I Am! But I know where you're coming from and I Have friends who tell me the same.

But as in all things in life, it's not that easy. I don't think he's with me for what I Have, but I Would say that wouldn't I?

Filey

I am tempted to say are you must be out of your tiny mind if you marry or even cohabit but I won't because it would be rude and unsympathetic. I will say however that you are being very wise in asking for advice in the circumstances. Not at all cynical and over cautious.

I can't help wondering what it is about this man you find so attractive.
!!!!less is a word that comes to mind. Of course he may be in this predicament through no fault of his own,

Some questions. How long have you known him? Has he always been irresponsible with money or is this a recent hole he has dug himself into. How old are you both? Have you made a will? Is he keeping himself at the moment or are you helping him out? If he claims benefits then if you cohabited I think your income would be taken into account.

All kinds of things come to mind. But whatever else you don't do, don't get married.

RAS

Tell him that when he is financially solvent you will consider living together.

AngelOfTheNorth

If you have a lot of assets, and children, and you want to pass the former to the latter, don't get married. Otherwise, you're taking a risk. You might also consider whether you could start gifting anything to them now- this is for IHT purposes as much as anything else.

InsideInsurance

Peter333 wrote: »

JMO but if I were the OP, I would run like wind away from this man. She is solvent and has lots of money (apparently!) and a house paid for in full, and he is financially vacant and has no assets.

What are you getting out of this relationship 'rumncoke222?'

I know this is MSE but really? Even for here judging the value of a partner purely by the size of their wallet is low.

Assuming the OP has any emotional consideration as to who their partner is then they would be best to get proper legal advice. Prenuptual agreements do have some legal standing (as per http://www.theguardian.com/money/2014/feb/27/pre-numpial-agreements-legally-binding-divorce-law-commission) but cannot be as sweeping as simply saying the partner gets nothing at all on divorce

I would proceed with a certain amount of caution if with someone who has historic financial issues but certainly wouldnt run a mile just because of that.

Robisere

My DD had 2 wasters like this man until she found the guy she has now. He is a worker, been laid off 3 times and just moves mountains until he gets another job, does casual work until he gets it. Now he has a great job, he's a quiet, calm man who is just what my headstrong DD needs.

I say, do not at all costs let this man move in. However much you say you love him, for you this can only end one way. Tell him you need time to think and it could be a long time, then study his reaction. that should tell you all you need to know. You can still be friends, go out together, but let him into home your life at your peril.

Mojisola

InsideInsurance wrote: »

I know this is MSE but really? Even for here judging the value of a partner purely by the size of their wallet is low.

I would proceed with a certain amount of caution if with someone who has historic financial issues but certainly wouldnt run a mile just because of that.

For me, the issue isn't that he doesn't have as much money as she does; it's because he's reckless with money.

If the would-be husband was willing to change his ways and not become a financial drain on the OP, why doesn't he start now and prove to himself and her that he can be financially responsible?