The KonMarie method

GreyQueen

rosie383 wrote: »

Can you post a link to this please?

Well, I'm not Buffy but I am on-thread:

http://jershaanddup.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/konmari-checklist1.pdf

ETA; among the clutter on my noticeboard was a lot of papery stuff, principally relating to travel. Such as an OOD travel insurance policy from 2006. Doh! When I have taken the notice board down, I shall remove the hook and fill and sand the hole prior to repainting the door, something which was on the cards anyway.

Anyone else craving clean, lean, uncluttered lines in their home (said by a woman with linen stacked everywhere atm?)

LizzieR

GreyQueen wrote: »

Anyone else craving clean, lean, uncluttered lines in their home (said by a woman with linen stacked everywhere atm?)

Yep - definitely! Although I am a long way off this right now! Hope the linen is all drying nicely and you can soon put it back in its nice dried out cupboard


Trying to Konvert my folks to the cause and seem to have had some success... About 3 weeks ago I helped my Mum fold all her T-shirts, long sleeved tops, jumpers etc from a jumbled shelf to a very tidy and easy to find everything shelf. We also folded her drawer of scarves (well, one of them anyway...) so she could see them all. I've not mentioned it since, but yesterday she commented at how much easier it was to find everything as she can see it all - she can also work out what she no longer needs and can send to the CS. Although she's struggling with guilt at getting rid of things - I told her that if there was anything I'd given her that she no longer loved/needed then I'd prefer she gave it away so it can enjoy a new lease of life and she doesn't feel guilty every time she looks at it! Hopefully that should help... My Dad is also starting to do more - finishing off lots of little jobs that have been hanging around for months and putting things where they belong - although that could just be because spring is in the air!


Well, the sun is shining and the allotment awaits, so I'd better be on my way. Have a good day everyone!

iQueen

GreyQueen wrote: »

Well, I'm not Buffy but I am on-thread:

http://jershaanddup.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/konmari-checklist1.pdf

ETA; among the clutter on my noticeboard was a lot of papery stuff, principally relating to travel. Such as an OOD travel insurance policy from 2006. Doh! When I have taken the notice board down, I shall remove the hook and fill and sand the hole prior to repainting the door, something which was on the cards anyway.

Anyone else craving clean, lean, uncluttered lines in their home (said by a woman with linen stacked everywhere atm?)

Thanks for the link, GQ... I spent over an hour, last night, looking for (and not finding) that list! Er... it was stored on my computer all the time! :embarasse

rosie383 wrote: »

Can you post a link to this please?

Thanks, rosie383 - you read my mind!

GreyQueen wrote: »

Good morning, campers!

I must have a dose of KM Fever as I was lying in bed at silly o'clock and decided to declutter a dress. I've worn it a lot but have reluctantly come to accept that it really isn't doing anything for my figure and would benefit from rehoming with someone else via the chazzer. So that will go in the next donation bag.

I also decided last night to de-mount a cork noticeboard from the inside of one of my cupboard doors and donate that. It seemed like a good idea at the time but is a magnet for cluttery stuff and looks appalling.

Thanks, again, GQ. I have discovered 2 cork boards that have been unused for over 10 years and was wondering where to use one. I've answered my own question, haven't I? :j

I've come to understand that a lot of decluttering is about being brutally honest with myself. If you feel the need to keep every single thing you ever bought/ were gifted, it's as if you are so stubborn that you aren't prepared to admit the following:

1. I can make bad decisions and these items are reflective of that.

2. My life can change over time and these items are part of an earlier and no longer applicable version.

3. I have people who give me things who don't know my tastes that well and have badly miscalculated in their gift selection.

Sooo, decluttering can be about the realistic acknowledgement of personal imperfection. Not in the sense of beating oneself up over it, that's what happens whenever you see the item. But in the sense that you can learn something from each mistake and say that was the lesson that item had to teach you, and now it can go on and do something else.

That's what I love about the KM method - there is no 'sackcloth and ashes' and 'poor me' whining, and endless excuses, and guilt, which is what I found on hoarding websites!

This thread, and one on another website, are uplifting and inspirational because 'we are what we are'. We have made mistaken purchases, some of us have been lazy (that's me!), whatever, - we are now where we are, and determined to change our situation. :T

This morning I rang up, to sort out the few shares I received years ago. I have (somewhere!) a couple of unpresented cheques... going back to 2007! Luckily, I don't have to find them, just destroy them, when I get to kondoing my paperwork mountains. A small windfall will arrive within the next month. Yay!

Must get on with kondoing NOW! Need space to use the wool combs that I will be buying next month. :j

The kondoed towels and tea towels, for the local kennels, are in the washing machine, for delivery next week. I shall be rounding up all the komono that I have discovered (so far!) for the tip, and clearing space to tackle some sub-categories of books today. Might also have time to put some things onto Freecycle, too.

Have a good day, Konverts! :heartsmil

GreyQueen

I think the issue with Stuff is that it seems easier to acquire than dispose of, but this is an illusion in most cases. With the exception of big stuff like furniture and appliances, most Stuff came into our homes one bag or one box at a time, carried by hand.

Thus, logically, we could remove it in the same way, by taking a carrier bag or two with us when we go about our errands and un-shopping it to the chazzer.

I have also seen alternative methods such as a box of no-longer-wanted books on the floor of someone's home when hosting our book group and an open invitation to take anything you'd like, with the criteria that IT DOESN'T COME BACK LATER. Or a box or pile of stuff by the front wall with a Free! notice on it.

Of course, some times there are very real reasons why we need to do a massive declutter all at once, against the clock, but mostly, it's manageable if you apply yourself to the task steadily.

I regularly talk to council tenants who have refused to allow us to upgrade their homes because it would involve moving Stuff. It's a wicked shame when clutter prevents a new and more efficient heating system, new double-glazing, rewiring or bathrooms. I also regularly talk to people who have gone into their last decade or two of predictable lifespan with a lot of clutter issues still unresolved, and it only gets harder to deal with things as strength, vision and possibly ownership of a vehicle decrease as age advances.

I really don't want to be one of these people in 20 years time, and will aim to live well with less.

iQueen

GreyQueen wrote: »

I think the issue with Stuff is that it seems easier to acquire than dispose of, but this is an illusion in most cases. With the exception of big stuff like furniture and appliances, most Stuff came into our homes one bag or one box at a time, carried by hand.

Thus, logically, we could remove it in the same way, by taking a carrier bag or two with us when we go about our errands and un-shopping it to the chazzer.

I have also seen alternative methods such as a box of no-longer-wanted books on the floor of someone's home when hosting our book group and an open invitation to take anything you'd like, with the criteria that IT DOESN'T COME BACK LATER. Or a box or pile of stuff by the front wall with a Free! notice on it.

Of course, some times there are very real reasons why we need to do a massive declutter all at once, against the clock, but mostly, it's manageable if you apply yourself to the task steadily.

I regularly talk to council tenants who have refused to allow us to upgrade their homes because it would involve moving Stuff. It's a wicked shame when clutter prevents a new and more efficient heating system, new double-glazing, rewiring or bathrooms. I also regularly talk to people who have gone into their last decade or two of predictable lifespan with a lot of clutter issues still unresolved, and it only gets harder to deal with things as strength, vision and possibly ownership of a vehicle decrease as age advances.

I really don't want to be one of these people in 20 years time, and will aim to live well with less.

GQ, you are absolutely correct about stuff coming in! Dribs and drabs. Some people do get unneeded stuff out the same way, but a lot of us just shove it 'somewhere' in the house and forget it... until it starts to interfere with daily living, by which time it can feel overwhelming. Luckily, my clutter didn't reach the point of where I let my basic standards go and I'm glad that I realised my dilemma, while I am still fit enough to deal with it.

Self-analysis, over the past 5 years, has helped me to understand how and why my clutter problem arose. Like most people, previously I was a competent mother, housekeeper and professional. Various life events made me vulnerable, together with loss of self-esteem and purpose after retirement.

Happily, Marie Kondo popped up, with her non-judgmental approach, and inspirational threads like this, at just the point that my positivity had begun to rise from the flames!

I really like your ideas for removing discards, in smaller ways - I find removing car-loads quite daunting! I am donating BFL quantities of books already and have several sacks of paperwork ready to be bonfired.

I am definitely becoming increasingly ruthless over discarding and 'I might not be able to relpace it' no longer figures in my thinking, with CSes being filled with other people's stuff!

So, on with the motley! Thank you for the continuing support!

jinny

My friends daughter is selling silk flower arrangements aka dust magnets
(Sorry yuk hate silk flowers)

My friend brought me a 'sample' she promptly put it on my coffee table. She gushed how lovely it looked.
I'm afraid i had to be honest and told her it wasn't perhaps my
type of thing. She put it back in her car boot. It was nice of her
I hope I didn't offend but I probably did.
I didn't want to accept and covertly put it in a charity bag
MK talks of this in her book when she offloaded her clothes onto her sister. Who didn't want the 'gifts'

Do you think I was right to be honest or should I have just taken the well meaning gift. Then discarded it after a decent time.

DawnW

jinny wrote: »

My friends daughter is selling silk flower arrangements aka dust magnets
(Sorry yuk hate silk flowers)

My friend brought me a 'sample' she promptly put it on my coffee table. She gushed how lovely it looked.
I'm afraid i had to be honest and told her it wasn't perhaps my
type of thing. She put it back in her car boot. It was nice of her
I hope I didn't offend but I probably did.
I didn't want to accept and covertly put it in a charity bag
MK talks of this in her book when she offloaded her clothes onto her sister. Who didn't want the 'gifts'

Do you think I was right to be honest or should I have just taken the well meaning gift. Then discarded it after a decent time.

I think you were right to be honest. She will get over it if she is a bit miffed.

GreyQueen

I'll go to great lengths to avoid offending someone, jinny, but sometimes that has meant taking a distinctive item to a chazzer in another town, rather than my own city.

I think it's very difficult with decor objects like those flowers, or pictures or knick-knacks. If you accept graciously, and the giver is a regualar visitor to your home, will they expect to see X in pride of place and be offended if they don't see it? You could end up with the ridiculous situation of having a shelf or cupboard of set-dressing items you bring out to display just before the giver arrives.

I don't give decor objects because they are such a very personal thing and I feel it'd be a case of me intruding my taste into their living space. I prefer to give consumables, of a kind I know they'll favour. A friend is having a big birthday next month. She likes gin. I shall get her a bottle and she can enjoy it and then recycle the bottle, and I shan't have contributed to clutter at her minimalistic home. She is an occasional light drinker, not an alcoholic, and it'll probably last her a year, but I wouldn't give booze to a problem boozer, of course.

You have to be careful with gifts. A woman who is a friend of a friend bought two vases (not a pair) of the same type from bootsales one year, and displayed them in her living room. They were joyous for her, in MK terms.

What happened next robbed them of joy; every friend and family member who saw these non-paired vases assumed she collected this particular type of thing. Note, they didn't ask, they made an assumption. And therefore, as a collector, she would be made more joyous by having more of them. So they carefully scoured secondhand marts and bootsales for these particular items and presented them in triumph at her birthday and at Xmas until her sitting room was harbouring 20 + of these things.

The proliferation of them was annoying and robbed the original two of their joyousness and it went on as a matter of irriation until she very publicly divested herself of 'her collection'.

Sooo, I think you need to be careful about what you accept into your home as it can have long term consequences. Perhaps you could say that you have a dust allergy and therefore cannot have ornaments/ silk flowers/ knick-knacks for the sake of your health? Sometimes, a little white lie might be easier than the truth. HTH.

jinny

Thank you for your replies. It isnt easy is it? I bake a lot and always take a loaf of bread or a cake when I visit friends. Like you say GQ I do make quite sure that the recipient isnt on a diet and truelly appreciates the gift.
I have texted my kind friend and explained I'm getting into minimilism and enjoy my bare walls and sparse furnishings
I havent heard back yet as I know she is out tonight. We have been friends for so long. so athough hasnt got my taste right even after all these years, she will be fine.
I did cause a stir amongst friends and family last xmas when I anounced I didnt want any cards and I wouldnt be sending any. I have friends from different religions so wished them all a happy seasonal holiday. Im extending that to birthday cards as well this year. They will get a food gift instead.
Im looking forward to my senior eccentric image im allowed im old enough:rotfl:

GreyQueen

I'm 50 so probably not allowed to be eccentric yet, but have always had Isshews with Stuff.

Many moons ago, when I was very very poor, a friend gave me two pairs of very nice socks for my birthday. She explained that when she'd been very poor, socks were always in short supply. She was right! They lasted for years and gave me joy.

When I moved into this tiny flat, a friend asked me what I wanted for Xmas. After the usual demurring that I didn't need anything but, if she insisted, something very small and consumable would be nice.

Clever lady got me a calendar of lovely photos of nature, which gave me 12 months of joy, a nice bottle of bath product, which lasted several months, and a bag of chocolate-covered nuts which lasted.....ummm..... about half an hour?:rotfl:

I thought that was an excellent gift, don't you?