The 'I'm less money-idiot more money-savvy' Diary

judi24

Thanks Beannie- It was ok - they think they are Stored Product Beetles - which really annoyed me as I thought I had checked everywhere for a source but they think it was some spices in the spice cupboard and they had tracked up the cavity in the wall to the bedroom attracted to the light! So spices binned cupboards cleaned and house insecticide!!!! all for a bargain price of £250!!!!!!!:eek::eek::eek:


Dolly dog and I were banished from the house this morning for 4 hours! So we took ourselves off to the nearest beach in the rain! Had a rather damp walk followed by a coffee and some people watching in a little caf! - got me thinking about all sort of stuff!


Yesterday was a particularly challenging in work started at 8 and and finished at 7 pm with not much achieved apart from a headache! - and I have got myself very stressed and tired and that's before the kids come back from their dads! Today got me thinking again about whether this was a healthy way to live and how much nicer I am as a person and mum when I am less stressed!


I was like this in my last job and one of the reasons I moved - and although I love my job and really care about the work we do and the people who do it - it is hard going! So much so that today all I wanted to do is to walk in the rain on my own! I couldn't even bear to go and visits friends or even tell my mum I was off in case she wanted to meet to chat!


I started thinking about whether I am doing the right thing for anyone trying to work full time in a stressful job, trying to manage a big house and the kids on my own! Trying to get debt free has taught me a lot about how much money I actually 'need', and I suddenly started thinking about what would happen if I gave it all up! Sold my house, bought a small house mortgage free with the equity, took a part time nursing job and claimed tax credit! - came home and crunched the numbers and it's totally possible!!!!


I think I am having a midlife crisis!!!!


Moral of the tale - don't allow Judi to spend too much time naval gazing - she gets herself into all sorts of bother!!!:mad:

TheMagician

Judi,

I know how overwhelming being a single working parent with a house, car, cooking and everything else to look after (at least studies are now finished for you!) is but do you think that claiming tax credits will make you feel happier?

The whole purpose of my career for me is that I don't and fingers crossed won't have to rely on others/government.
Does being completely self reliant and independent not make you feel good?
Does knowing that every penny in your bank account was earned by you does not give you pride?
Knowing that nobody can take it away from you or rub your face in the fact that you didn't earn it?

If you're not coping maybe you could go 4 days? One of my colleague works 4 days because she can afford it and she really enjoys it. 3vs4 is a much better balance than 2vs5.

Stay strong

Lots of love,
TheMagician

Bobarella

Judi - Sorry about the beetle incident. It really is pants having to shell out for something that isnt your fault.

judi24

Thanks The Magician - I have no intention on jacking it all in - I am very proud of may achievements in my career and really love my job, my home and my kids! - I guess I was just reminding my self that actually doing this (full time work, study, kids, house and single parenting) is actually a choice that I chose and I 'could' choose a very different life if I wanted to! It is good to be reminded every now and again that these are 'choices' that are within my gift!

I am very self reliant and independent - sometimes to a fault! and I have no intention on being otherwise! Don't worry!

I am in a much better frame of mind today! Works was ok - I left bang on 5 and left feeling like I had solved a few problems and could see a way forward on others and that I am supporting people to do an amazing job in caring for patients and families in a very special way - that I am extremely proud of! and I even got volunteered to be a model at our charity shop fashion show next month!!! :eek:

I definitely do need to look at my own stress management though - yesterday was a lesson that I need to take heed of! I do need some real 'me' time occasionally and I need to build some exercise into my routine too as I know I feel sluggish and tired as I have not been doing any!

I have my babies home tonight - I have missed them so much (even the fighting!) and even stayed calm when I picked them up - DD3 looked like she hadn't had a bath or a change of clothes for a week! and I am looking forward to a catch up with a friend I haven't seen for a while tomorrow night - so a lovely weekend ahead!:T


Yes Bob - I was not best impressed I have to say! but worse things happen at sea I guess!

ampersand

Walking by sea with a 4-foot ticks every 'need' box, judi.
Alone is fine, with child needing same is fine.

So much clarifies. Stress and bleugh chaff is winnowed. Chucking/skipping stones [& is not as good at this as she thinks], splashing, paddling, sticks thrown, etc - all good..
Always have appropriate Thermos, treat, for 1 or more:-)
#
Aren't we lucky to 'know' you?
Oh yes!!!

TheMagician

If we're talking about choice, how about this? Looks amazing to me

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3116580/Couple-quit-UK-rat-race-bring-children-remote-Tonga-island-takes-THREE-days-hit-earthquakes-tsunamis-stay-eight-years.html

judi24

Thanks Ampersand - the sea air (along with some wise words!) certainly did me some good! The challenge today - despite the gorgeous sunshine - is to move DS and DD3 away from the house - they have clearly missed being in their home surroundings! But its ok - I am having a coffee in the garden watching DD3 play with the bunnies - I will shop later and DD3 is writing the list for me as she wants to cook dinner and bake tomorrow.


The Magician - I watched this family on the Ben Fogle show a few weeks ago - It looked idyllic but hard work and interestingly the 13 year old left and went to boarding school! I am resigned to the fact that my little cottage in the country (here or France!) will have to wait until my younger 2 have at least finished schooling - my focus over the next 7 years is to give me enough money and skills find my own little corner of the world and be able to make a living and a difference!

TheMagician

I too want to move away from the city, a little farm would do just fine, a few animals... I know how you feel.
But the more I think about it the more I realise that the money needed to do that and retire early cannot be earnt doing 9-5. Hence my goal is to obtain shares via my job in a company that later sells.
An FD I know has done it 3 times now and he's got enough £Ms to never need to work again. Having said that, he still does.

judi24

Well interesting evening yesterday - with some very valuable learning about myself and a friend -


1. I absolutely DO NOT like night clubs - full stop! and will not be being it again EVER! I thought I would give it one last try - its not something I have ever done frequently but last night we were out for a friends birthday and that's what she wanted to do! Safe to say birthday or no birthday it won't be happening again! - they are expensive, noisy hell holes!!! I like a good boogie on occasion but will have to do that at weddings or other party type events as night clubs are definitely not my thing ( I never really thought they were but last night I made the decision that I will not be persuaded again as my dislike for them has got to extreme levels!)


2. Someone I consider a friend has shown herself to be very selfish and maybe not as good a friend as I thought!- I had my suspicions about this before last night but I was a little disappointed to find that I was right - ah well I do have some great friends though! Its always helpful to truly get the measure of someone I believe!


Not a good day money wise yesterday - as I ventured into the big green emporium with DS and DD3 (fatal mistake!) and ended up over budget on the grocery front! I did also get some plastic storage containers (half price too!)for dry goods following the beetle incident as all the kitchen cupboards have been cleaned and sprayed and all dry goods needs to be stored securely to stop them becoming infested now I have removed the spicy source! ( I found some more in another item from the Chinese supermarket!)


I am very proud of my DS though - he is learning well! He wants to buy a PC with his birthday money and wanted to go to PC world yesterday! I explained that they are definitely not the cheapest but the money was burning a hole in his pocket and being 13 waiting 2 days for delivery was just out of the question! He spoke to the sales assistant who gave him some advice about the type of thing he wanted - and his budget did not quite stretch to the recommended model!(what a surprise!) and he looked wistfully at the highly priced hi tech blue flashing light gaming PC - I agreed that he could top up his birthday money with a little from his savings account (in my mind he is better getting a PC that might be a little future proof!) also showed him an equivalent model to the one recommended online (while standing PC world!!!) for £100 less! He was amazed and agreed to go home and buy it online and wait 2 long days for delivery! no tantrums, no demands and no rushing into making a decision on the spot!!! Was very proud of him!

Bobarella

That's great about your son Judi. They do have to learn at some point and the fact he is putting his own savings in and not asking that you top up the shortfall is great.

I am with you on nightclubs. I think I've always had an old head on young shoulders as I even hated them when I was 18 and the whole clubbing experience left me cold. You can't hear anyone. The booze is expensive. They are often dirty. Just bleu!!