The 'I'm less money-idiot more money-savvy' Diary

judi24

Oh no Kantankerusmare - hope washing machine gets fixed with not too much expense!!! :mad:

Today has been a lovely and quite lazy day! I woke earlyish (8 am)and house was still quite to sneaked downstairs and made a cup of tea, put a wash on and let the Doodle out - then crept back to bed trying not to wake the gang! Success - tea in bed followed by another little snooze! was woken at 10.30 by DD3 and a cup of coffee!!:o

DS's cadet boots arrived in the post (phew!! crisis averted as he has camp tomorrow and I was a little anxious about the delivery date quoted yesterday) and a lovely and thoughtful gift arrived for me too!!! Unfortunately the post man also brought speeding fine!!!! :eek:

Made brunch with yesterdays birthday breakfast left overs then cross checked camp list - a few items outstanding so we went to shops to get the bits (blister plasters included as I have no doubt the new boots will rip his feet apart!!!) plus DD3's school shoes - so not a NSD!!!!

Then visited cake making friend to return borrowed equipment and now she is planning the mothers day cake!! I keep having to remind her that my skill level is still basic!!! Had good catch up - she feels she is struggling to carve a real niche in the cake world even though she demonstrates all over Europe! Her cakes are amazing - it always seems such a shame to put that much effort into something people will munch on without giving it a second thought!

Not much else to report - ducked out of a meal out tonight. I made the excuse that I don't have a babysitter and another friend promptly offered to have the kids for me - so had to come clean and say I had spent my monthly spends budget so couldn't go - friends seemed fine about it - they even offered to bring me a doggy bag! I have no doubt my finances will be the topic of some gossip tonight but who cares - I will be the one with no debt soon while they continue to live on credit!:j

ampersand

Burger that 'not so fast' - judi. HICCUP ONLY. It's one of those annoying 'slow down' parallels for you and speeding fines STING.

Can you opt for speed awareness course? It's still a nasty £s bullet to bite[Hate it]but doesn't mean points on licence or add-on insurance nasties.

As for ' I made the excuse that I don't have a babysitter and another friend promptly offered to have the kids for me - so had to come clean and say I had spent my monthly spends budget so couldn't go'

-and I'm guessing judi immediately could have thought 'Why didn't/don't I just say it straight out, with a strong smile? This is what matters. I'm rpoud of how I'm doing. It's working better with the family too. I'm feeling better than I have done for ages, over everything.'
I'd also say your rating will go right up i.,e. in your own esteem and theirs.

To ' I have no doubt my finances will be the topic of some gossip tonight but who cares' Exactly. Friends? Really?

Let them know you only plan for real Life, now and longterm. 'Any treats or outs, let me know in plenty of time, so I can see whether or not it's possible.' Word will get round that judi needs notice. Your arrival at anything will be seen as extra-special.

judi - knowing my strong admiration for Celia Lashlie, may I please hi-jack your Thread and place this wonderful archive of her talks on radio NZ here:

http://www.radionz.co.nz/collections/celia-lashie

All mothers having hard times, or people who know those mothers, will find calm wisdom here.

judi24

Hi-jack away - if it helps anyone who is challenged by raising their boys then great! I am going to post her letter as you did in the OS board as it speaks so loudly to me!


Yes I am now at point with people that if they want to gossip because I have said I can't afford it (and actually I can afford it if I wanted to - it would just mean paying less off my debt - which I choose not to do!) then let them get on with it! I have had very different lives to them and never had a hubby that I could rely on to take care of my future - I am in charge of my own destiny and know that by doing this now I will be able to retire when I choose with a good lifestyle. My kids won't go without but will know the value of money!:D


The speeding ticket is very annoying :mad:- but yes it is symptom of my high speed life style - SLOW DOWN seems to be my motto at the moment (and there's me blaming my sons dad for my son's speedy genes!!! - maybe I need to look closer to home!!!)

judi24

I am posting this as it really 'speaks' to me on many levels. Maybe its because I work with patients who are dying, maybe because it remands me of the very fragile nature of the human being, and maybe it helps me realise how much I need to improve how I look after my self and count my blessings.


I am posting it to keep it recorded in this thread so that when I become debt free I can look back and hopefully see that I have take heed



When We walk to the Edge of All the Light (16 February 2015)


“The seductive nature of the modern world allows us as human beings to believe we are in charge. In today’s world we think we are in charge. Technological advances and intellectual knowledge we continue to acclaim, leaves us with the sense that we are in control and that there is enough time to achieve what it is we want to achieve.

We become complacent about the need to take care of ourselves… always something more to do. Some of this is driven by our desire to save the world, others driven by the desire we have to reach the many goals we have set ourselves - many of them superficial.
The simple reality is that we are not in charge and that moment of realisation comes to us when we learn of the fragility of the human spirit. For some, that lesson comes unexpectedly and hard.
Late last year I slowly became unwell. The stress of the lifestyle I was living, the demands I made of myself, the demands other people made of me and expected to meet became too great and as 2014 closed I was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer that had spread to my liver. No treatment, no cure, only palliative care. I’d waited too long to look after myself and my body broke.
To say that it was and is a shock is a major understatement. and as I look at the amazing family and group of friends I’m surrounded with as I now travel a different journey warms my heart. At the same time, there are feelings of trepidation about what lies ahead.

I’m now focused on the moments of magic that are appearing in front of me: The laughter of my grandchildren; a smile of a friend attempting to walk this journey with me and the pure beauty and strength of my adult children as they battle their anger, grief and sadness at what is happening to their beloved mother.
It’s time to leave the work to others now.
My wish is that others will learn to stop before I did, to take into account the limitations of their physical bodies and to take the time to listen to the yearnings of their soul. It is in the taking care of ourselves we learn the ability to take care of others.
“When we walk to the edge of all the light you have and take that first step into the darkness of the unknown, you must believe that one of two things will happen :
There will be something solid for you to stand on, or, you will be taught to fly.”
“Faith” by Patrick Overton - “The Leaning Tree”

R,I.P. Celia Lashlie - but keep on making plenty of right noises.




Thank you Ampersand for pointing me in Celia's direction

Cwtchie

I don't really want to tarnish your last post by commenting, because it is so beautifully serene. Beautiful healing words x

judi24

Having a lovely - if somewhat unproductive weekend so far!!! Yesterday was spent packing and relaxing an getting DS ready for Cadet camp. Went out for a very cheap lunch using vouchers I had - only had to pay for drinks which came to £8 - it uses up the last of my fun spends pot (in fact nothing left in any pot at the moment! Luckily it is short month!) I have money in the bank but it is the tax rebate and still debating what to do with it! I would like to keep it in my account as it completely clears the smile OD - I would just have to make sure I didn't dip into the OD again. But might be better paying it off the CC - decisions decisions!


Had a lovely moment with my DS yesterday - I took the opportunity to have a quite hour and read on my bed and he came and joined me with his book - we had a lovely cuddle and chill - I am not sure if he was a little nervous about going to camp (he has been to plenty of residential but never with Cadets). Last year was most definitely a challenge in relation to my DS and at one point I really thought I would loose him - so yesterday was very special! We seem to be back on track and


Last night I went to visit a friend - again I cooked and he provided the ingredients (lovely lamb stir fry!) and the wine! Had a little too much wine so had a bit of a bad head this morning!!! Took the opportunity to just relax and read most of the day - it was lovely! (and it wasn't uni related!) - tomorrow I need to get my act together - need to spend some time in the garden if weather is ok as spring will be springing soon and I haven't even done the winter clear up!


Not a lot to report in relation to finances - still not managed another NSD - today went shopping for top up shop and spent £20 but that included a YS cooked chicken which I turned into curry for tonight for me and DD2 and will have the rest of tomorrow as a stir fry. Will make stock and soup from the carcass tomorrow. Also bought DS a couple of t shirts in DD2's shop at 50% off so £4 each.


I have about £10 in change in my purse which will cover DS bus fare and cadet subs and that is all I have to last me until the end of the month! But I don't NEED anything!

judi24

Cwtchie wrote: »

I don't really want to tarnish your last post by commenting, because it is so beautifully serene. Beautiful healing words x

It is lovely and it really makes you consider how lucky we are doesn't it?- I am currently reading one of her books about raising boys - its so well written and real food for thought!!! I can't even begin to explain on here the despair I felt last year with issues around my son - I really doubted my ability to take care of him and keep him safe and I was so close to not fighting for him and letting his dad take him - I am so glad I found the strength then to fight for him and not listen to his dads criticism of me - and I have no doubt this book will be a real source of comfort when things get tough again (which they will I have no doubt!)

Dansmam

Jumping in with both clodhoppers, me. I have noticed that on mse sometimes when folks are deep, there's a sudden silence. Which, no disrespect, stops ppl starting up again. I really respect the silence and need to reflect, but hope this breaks it for those who're ready to talk. Or Judi`'ll be talking to Judi for ages... Ta dah!
Oh, and had a boy go awol in his room for about 2 years with father angst, so feel for everyone who's been there too. I let him ride it out but not sure I judged that well. So hard to know when they need words and when not. Being there ready when they're ready to talk seems to be all we can do. With food, they're always ready for food.
DM

judi24

Thanks Dansmam - I do get that people might be put off by me posting deep and reflective stuff on here - its not meant to be all serious and doom and gloom but I do want to plot my progress through this diary and for me that involves understanding my thinking about 'where I'm at' in this journey - where I have come from and where I want to end up!


This is definitely not just a journey to becoming debt free has an element of self discovery that will help me stay debt free and enjoy a different life with my family. Celia Lashlie's letter was just very apt in reminding me of what was important in life!

I don't mind talking to myself for a while (I'm used to it in my house!!!:rotfl:)

beanielou

At the end of the day judi it is your diary so post as you want.
Lovely post about your DS :j