Girlfriend is taking out and paying a loan for her brothers wedding?

Buzby

Funny, in my 'culture' the male paid for the stag do... the Bride's family paid for the wedding, NOT the groom.

tabby_cats_mum

Perhaps your son could sell his car and help you out.

Thrugelmir

dealer_wins wrote: »

So your girlfriend can "save face", she should inform her brother that she has been declined the loan by the bank.

Sound idea.

whitecloud663

I have an update that I would like to share. I had a long and thorough discussion with my girlfriend last night and I'm glad to say I feel much more relieved, although not completely.

Regarding the financial matter, she showed me an ISA account, in which she has £6k in savings. She says this is her 'emergency' fund so god forbid if anything does happen, in that she cannot pay back the loan, she does have security.

She also said that she's fairly confident that her brother will pay her back but I'm still rather sceptical about that. According to her, she will have to pay for the first 3-4 months until her brother can get on his feet and he will start to pay back there on.
I guess worse comes to worse, she'll just be giving (an extremely) expensive wedding present should it be that he is unable to pay back. I should have also mentioned that she's currently paying off a credit card debt (its now interest free as she has had a balance transfer done) in the amount of £4k. In the past 2 years or so she has cut down the debt by more than half and I do trust her on this. It was not her fault that she was in debt (again past family issue that put her in debt) and in her defence she isn't wreck-less and has been really working hard to pay off the debt as soon as she can. However, I still do feel that taking out another loan would inevitably hinder her ability to save and therefore our ability to move forward financially and staircase our flat to 100% etc.

suicidebob

You can't really say your girlfriend's not reckless when she's about to give £6K to someone who does not have the means to pay it back.

Her brother obviously has no self-respect, otherwise he wouldn't be expecting his sister to pay for his wedding. He ain't paying her back.

Your girlfriend isn't seeing this £6K so it's a gift, not a loan.

whitecloud663

suicidebob wrote: »

You can't really say your girlfriend's not reckless when she's about to give £6K to someone who does not have the means to pay it back.

Her brother obviously has no self-respect, otherwise he wouldn't be expecting his sister to pay for his wedding. He ain't paying her back.

Your girlfriend isn't seeing this £6K so it's a gift, not a loan.

The brother does not even want her to take a loan out. He is not aware of this, he thinks his parents are re-mortgaging the house. I know that does not make it better but my girlfriend and her mum have talked about this and they are going to say the house is re-mortgaged when in reality, my girlfriend is providing the loan

suicidebob

The family are obviously mental cases then.

This story doesn't end well. That's obvious to anyone!

GaleSF63

Your girlfriend is already in debt because of helping a member of the family out, and now they want her to take out another loan before she's finished paying the first one off?

They see her as a cash machine; this is not going to end. Another year or two and there will be something else, and again, and again, while her relatives sit in their mortgage-free houses...

ratrace

whitecloud663 wrote: »

The brother does not even want her to take a loan out. He is not aware of this, he thinks his parents are re-mortgaging the house. I know that does not make it better but my girlfriend and her mum have talked about this and they are going to say the house is re-mortgaged when in reality, my girlfriend is providing the loan

Why all the ducking and diving?

Why is she paying off the first debt surely if she got in to debt for her family they they should be paying it as technically its their debt although its not in their name

also why is you other half playing a central role in all this while the parents take a step back surely he is their responsibility

its all a bit bizarre the most sensible thing to do would be to postpone the wedding while the funds have been saved up then a wedding an take place

also as someone mentioned it only cost around £130 at the registry office

sorry cant be able to help more

whitecloud663

I know it all sounds bad but it isn't as bad as it seems. The wedding will be in India not in the UK and the total cost of the wedding is around £10-12k. Registry is out of the question, as the soon to be husband/wife are settling in Canada. The parents are providing the rest of the funds and I believe the brother is providing a little bit too.

Clearly for them showing face in India is a top priority and so hosting a wedding FOR THEM is important. Here on out there shouldn't be any more further financial 'unnecessary' requests as the brother will be in Canada and the parents in India.