Girlfriend is taking out and paying a loan for her brothers wedding?

whitecloud663

ratrace wrote: »

This may not be a bad idea from a financial point of view

lets say you girlfriend gets a loan offered at 10% interest

and the parents remortgage and their rate is say 5%
(interest rates on mortgages are lower than unsecured loans)

so you save 50% interest plus he he fails to pay his dad his old man can kick his @ss in to gear

all this avoids any problems with you or your girlfriend

I know - Im a genius :cool:

The brother comes across quite frankly as a moron. I don't even think he has the means to pay back his dad for at least the next year or so.

whitecloud663

curiousralphy wrote: »

If you are planning on getting married then her family affairs are your family affairs and you are already involved. You really do need to speak to her - they are choosing a big wedding and can't afford it, the parents would re-finance the house to do it and your girlfriend sees no problem with getting a loan to fund it when she has nothing spare for what she does need (car) - , it sounds like her "culture" as you put it, has a emphasis on how things appear and this will likely spill across all choices she makes in life. You need to make sure now that you are able to live this way or that she is happy to change and not live this way. This time it's about the brother's wedding but there's a much bigger issue here that you should probably get sorted before you mix your lives together any further.

Thanks for the advice. Just thinking about how I can bring it up tonight when I talk with my significant other

ratrace

whitecloud663 wrote: »

Thanks mate. My head is in a complete mess now. The pitfalls, where to begin?

Flat being repossessed?
No car?
Cannot stair case to 100%
No disposable income?
What else?

Alright that seems like a list

few others may be,
job loss,
health issues,
can be involved in a accident (god forbid)
something needs replacing in the flat asap etc....

But overall he really needs to take control of the situation cant he just borrow the money of friends and family without them taking a loan

i can understand she want to help her brother and they have grown up together so are probably close, but it is her neck on the line if things dont get paid

ratrace

whitecloud663 wrote: »

The brother comes across quite frankly as a moron. I don't even think he has the means to pay back his dad for at least the next year or so.

cor i take it you dont get on but thats not the issue

the issue is that can the loan be repaid and i think the answer is NO it cant well not by him any way

its not only a 7k loan there is interest on top of that and then the term the longer the more interest needs to be paid

Just talk to her about it and see what she reacts like also its worth mentioning that "Everyone else seems to be moving forward in life, but we and going backwards financially of course"

Just to add mate, I wouldn't worry about what people are saying about you adapting/learning her "culture" Im sure after 2 and a half years of being with her you know her well enough, hence the reason you going to marry her in the future. Its a funny old word we live in aint it full of narrow minded people

All the best mate

CKhalvashi

TrickyDicky101 wrote: »

I take it this is an Asian family? I have a friend who has Bangladeshi ancestry and the lengths he will go to to support his family (and indeed his extended family) is, quite frankly, unbelievable to my Western upbringing. I would be very prepared for this money to never be repaid and plan accordingly.

It's the same in the (former USSR) upbringing I had.

We would only pledge what we could, however, rather than attempting to guarantee a loan for something like this, and this is (IME) the same for most.

gycraig_2

Absolutely awful idea. No matter what culture it's an absolutely awful idea. Why should you spend money you haven't got that you actually do need on a completely optional wedding for her brother. Crazy

ratrace

gycraig wrote: »

Absolutely awful idea. No matter what culture it's an absolutely awful idea. Why should you spend money you haven't got that you actually do need on a completely optional wedding for her brother. Crazy

You sir, Are a genius!

dealer_wins

So your girlfriend can "save face", she should inform her brother that she has been declined the loan by the bank.

poppasmurf_bewdley

whitecloud663 wrote: »

Thanks for the advice. Just thinking about how I can bring it up tonight when I talk with my significant other

You sit her down at the table and say "About this idea that you are not going to do!"

Lungboy

dealer_wins wrote: »

So your girlfriend can "save face", she should inform her brother that she has been declined the loan by the bank.

This is probably the best option. Or tell him she would need a guarantor loan with him as the guarantor, see how keen he is for the money then.