Tomorrow I have to call the mortgage company and tell them I can't afford to pay them

barbarawright

TakeAwayKing wrote: »

I hope they will give me one more try. I have £350 that I can give them (should be giving them £1900) to show that I want to pay
I'm dreading them just saying "nope. You had a chance. Deliver up your keys tomorrow."

I know you're very worried but you should know they can't do that. You might want to read this about what your mortgage company can actually do. Even if they refuse your offer (very unlikely). they can't just repossess your house without going to court

http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/wales/debt_w/debt_mortgage_problems_ew/eviction_for_mortgage_arrears.htm

TakeAwayKing_2

Thank you barbarawright
I am just so worried
This is all my fault I know
But I am 3 months in arrears already. This will make it 4. Over 4500 in arrears and I am going to offer them just £350 this month

barbarawright

TakeAwayKing wrote: »

Thank you barbarawright
I am just so worried
This is all my fault I know
But I am 3 months in arrears already. This will make it 4. Over 4500 in arrears and I am going to offer them just £350 this month

We know you're worried but you need to DO something. You can't ring the mortgage company until tomorrow so spend the time researching your position and - more importantly - contacting GA. That's the best possible thing you can do. Otherwise, frankly, this is going to happen again.

TakeAwayKing_2

Thank you

It seems there is a ga meeting up the road from where I live on a Monday night
I have emailed them to ask If I need to book or if I just turn up

theoretica

Can you set up a standing order with your bank so that the mortgage payment goes out immediately you are paid? And other priority bills? That way the most crucial things would be paid first, not last.

Muhren

I can't help you with your mortgage situation but I can give you some advise on the gambling front. Your money situation won't get any better until you stop gambling so this is the first thing you need to address.

As has been mentioned find out when your next ga meeting is and go along to that, you will get advice and support there and be around people who been in your situation.

I don't know what type of gambling you have been doing, if it was in the bookies or online or whatever. You need to physically stop yourself from being able to gamble, here are my suggestions;

For online I use a bit of software called k9 which you can download and set up to stop access to gambling sites, if you can get someone else to put a password in for you then do that, if not make a random one of numbers and letters that you will not remember.

You can ban yourself from bookies by taking in some passport photos to all the different ones and they will bar you from all of their local outlets. Take someone with you so you aren't tempted to gamble whilst you are in there.

If you have a phone that you can get onto the internet with either get rid of it for a basic phone or phone your provider to block over 18 sites so that you can't gamble on it.

If you can have someone else look after your money so that you don't have any to gamble with. Only take money out that you need with you for the day.

These might sound like drastic steps but you need to stop this at the root. It won't have to be like this forever, I have been off 2 years now and have regained a little bit of control over my finances and also have a start phone again. Things do get easier the longer you have been off so get yourself along to ga. They say give yourself 90 days and if you don't like it then at least you have given it a try.

I know that you must feel terrible right now as I did when I thought I had nowehere else to turn. There is help out there for you so use it and you will be able to beat this addiction.

All the best in your recovery and if you have any questions or just need a bit of support I will try and help you out best I can.

Muhren

TakeAwayKing wrote: »

Thank you

It seems there is a ga meeting up the road from where I live on a Monday night
I have emailed them to ask If I need to book or if I just turn up

You won't need to book you just turn up. It is run by other compulsive gamblers who are all on the same level all trying to beat their addiction.

TakeAwayKing_2

Muhren. Thank you
I know this is all stuff I need to do as I am out of control and know I have a problem
I just keep thinking it might be different next time
You know?
I guess I need to speak to my partner too
Oh dear god

Muhren

Yeah I know what you mean it will all seem very daunting at the moment but you just have to take little steps and I promise you that things will get better if you stay off.

I didn't stop first time, I thought I could do it by myself but I couldn't. I found that telling people helped me even though it might seem like a difficult and uncomfortable thing to do, once you have it will feel like a massive weight lifted. Yes they might be angry and upset to start with but once they get their head around it they should be there to help you get through this.

They call it the silent addiction as you can be going through hell without showing signs like you would if you were drinking\taking drugs. My friends were so shocked when I told them as they thought that I would be the last one to have this problem. It can take hold of anyone, you just have to fight it as hard as you can and put as many barriers in place to stop you from going back to it.

Bobarella

I don't have anything useful to add to the excellent advice by the above posters but wish you well getting some peace of mind in all of this. I really hope you can get through your addiction & financial difficulties. All the best.