How to find out where sombody is?

bluelass

Some good ideas including the link to the electoral look up

jackyann

janb5 wrote: »

Off the record, do people not say`died` anymore? I have had three close deaths in my family and we say `died`. I find this passed over said all the time so I am just wondering is it just me who find it euphemistic?

I dislike it greatly. I normally say "died" or "dead" (why on earth not?!)
However, it's a situation in which one hates to give offence. If I hear a bereaved person saying "passed" I try not to use the "death" word, as I feel at such a difficult time for them it's not up to me to make a stand.

I suspect that it is exactly that attitude which has led to it being used so much - everyone hating to give offence.

If I am leading the conversation I say "died" or "dead", and when I have been the close bereaved relative I have always used it.

Actually, I find the term "passed" quite unpleasant - especially if used as "passed over" (passed away not as bad IMHO!), but I'm the sort of person who doesn't tell others that I'm offended because I hate upsetting them!

Ader1

My mum paid another visit just before New Year's and enquired at a nieghbour's house. He said that the police and social services had been there some-time before Christmas. It appears she was still alive at that point.

Spendless

Ader1 wrote: »

My mum paid another visit just before New Year's and enquired at a nieghbour's house. He said that the police and social services had been there some-time before Christmas. It appears she was still alive at that point.

My Grandmother has been hospitalised twice following her making emergency calls to the police about stuff that isn't true. When it's become clear it's a mental health issue and not actually a crime has taken place, the police have worked with social services and psychiatric services to get my Nan the medical attention she needs.

It sounds possible that a similar situation has happened to your Mum's friend. Did your mum pop a note through friend's letterbox with her contact details on? Someone may be still checking on her home. This is what we are doing, calling and collecting any post.

Ader1

Spendless wrote: »

It sounds possible that a similar situation has happened to your Mum's friend. Did your mum pop a note through friend's letterbox with her contact details on? Someone may be still checking on her home. This is what we are doing, calling and collecting any post.

They should have done although the friend does have mum's contact details as they have throughout the years sent each other a gift at Christmas time. But she (mum) should have left a note saying she had paid a visit.

Spendless

Ader1 wrote: »

They should have done although the friend does have mum's contact details as they have throughout the years sent each other a gift at Christmas time. But she (mum) should have left a note saying she had paid a visit.

We haven't gone through my Nan's address book to inform people that she is currently in hospital and has been since mid December as we don't know enough about people she is still in contact with.(ie if they are still alive, at the same address etc) As people have contacted Nan, mostly through christmas cards, we've got in touch then. Fingers crossed your Mum should hear news of her friend soon.

Mojisola

Ader1 wrote: »

My mum paid another visit just before New Year's and enquired at a nieghbour's house. He said that the police and social services had been there some-time before Christmas. It appears she was still alive at that point.

As well as putting a note through the door, I would write to Social Services explaining that your Mum is a friend trying to make contact and enclose a card for her friend with your Mum's address on it.

Ader1

I sent an email to Social Services and after a couple of days in which there wasn't a reply I telephoned them and this lady was known to them although they wouldn't say what had happened to her. But the nice person who I spoke to said he would pass on my message to the social worker in charge of this case. The next day, the social worker telephoned mum and wanted to know about this lady. She's apparently in their care and for some reason hasn't been able to tell them anything about herself. I got the impression he wanted some information so he could get back to her and talk to her and establish some conncetions with her past. Mum will soon pay her a visit. Thank you all for your help.

Yorkie1

Well done on not giving up. Hope your mum's visit goes well.

kerri_gt

Good to hear you've maamged to find out whats happened to her, it's sad when people really have next to no one. Howl your mums visit goes well.