Christmas Crakers

JPears

For a little festive frivolity,:beer: I thought it might be a bit of fun to think up some new excuses for the airlines to churn out in their desperate attempts to avoid paying out what is rightfully and legally due the claimants they have delayed, cancelled or denied boarding.
You know - the sort of dirge that you get on a piece of paper inside a cheap cracker. And almost as funny, not. :rotfl:

stevemej

I'm afraid your flight delay was caused by the pilot sleeping in. He is not employed directly by Jet2 but from a 3rd party agency. As such the delay was out of our control and is an extraordinary circumstance. In this case compensation is not due.

Regardless of this we have a clause in the terms and conditions stipulating that any delay, no matter what the cause, is considered extraordinary circumstances and compensation is not due.

supermac9

Jet2 flight from Newcastle to Faro 25.08.12
Reason for delay - No.1 VHF control panel failed (after 2880 flight hours)

My Question:
Your letter of 19th November 2013 stated that this part has a soft-life of 48,000 hours (Mean Time Between Failure (MTBF) of 64,000 hours)
Your letter of 23rd December 2013 gave the MTBF as 3,300 hours (soft-life of approximately 2,500 hours).
You state (11th March 2014) that thesoft-life for this piece of equipment is now 6,500 hours, and was produced bythe Jet2 Reliability Department, which, I assume, is made up of technicalexperts from within your organisation? Could you advise how this latest figure wasarrived at please?

Jet2 answer: I can confirm that the statements regarding the soft life being 48,000 hours and 3,300 hours were incorrect due to clerical errors. There was no soft life in place at the time of your flight delay.
The Reliability Department is an internal department within Jet2.com who, with the co-ordination of other departments, assist in ensuring serviceability of our aircraft (don't laugh!).:huh:
The soft life of the VHF control panel is currently 6,500 hours, this is calculated as approximately 25% less than the MTBF rate across the fleet. The majority of the soft life programme, including the control panel, was introduced in May 2013.:rotfl::rotfl:

len49

So you had a delay. It may have been caused by something that's gone with the wind but quite frankly my dears I don't give a damn.

Clark Gable, Head of Customer Service, Windy Airlines.

Cheers

len

JPears wrote: »

For a little festive frivolity,:beer: I thought it might be a bit of fun to think up some new excuses for the airlines to churn out in their desperate attempts to avoid paying out what is rightfully and legally due the claimants they have delayed, cancelled or denied boarding.
You know - the sort of dirge that you get on a piece of paper inside a cheap cracker. And almost as funny, not. :rotfl:

111KAB

Thank you for flying Monarch Airlines. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride.

Grumpelstiltskin

We apologise for the delay caused by passenger Mr R Reindeer.


He became upset when he realised Mr S Claus wouldn't be on this Jet 2 flight.


As this is an exceptional circumstance no compensation or presents will be available this Christmas.

Hedgehog99

We apologise for the lack of hold luggage capacity on our 2350 hrs departure on 24th December 2014. Mr Claus has exceeded his permitted methane emissions under EU Directive N0N5EN5E_2014 and has had to ground his reindeer, so we will need the hold space to convey his final shipment of the evening. We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause, but we have our fingers crossed behind our backs as we type this with one finger, so our apology does not count - bah humbug. We can assure you that this problem will not happen again next year because Mr Claus will be changing the reindeers' diet as a result of EU Directive LAU6H_2015.

Skid_Marks

Thomson Airways at the check-in desk:

'The bad news is that we don't have an aircraft available for your flight today......the good news is we can offer you a £4.00 refreshment voucher.'

Compensation denied after a 12 hour wait and still fighting for it!

JPears

Excellent my friends.
Cookie for the best one :cool:

A_Flock_Of_Sheep

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am sorry that you experienced a delay to your journey. I can confirm that the delay to your flight was caused by a team of flying reindeer and and sleigh being sucked into the engines shortly after take off. As a result the aircraft had to return to the original airport.

We consider this to be extraordinary circumstances and if you don't like it, sue us.