Labour- didn't know what to do/what was going on with my body - anyone else the same?

Mics_chick

tiamai_d wrote: »

oooops, sorry, yes. One GP was very flippant. 'Oh well, yes, you had a shock, but you do not get PTS from having a baby'. Thanks to him, I spent another 10months hiding everything before I cracked.

Even now, I doubt its on my medical records. There will be a note of mild depression though, as they assume you only get PND straight away after having a baby.

I think I feel a bit bitter! :rotfl:

Who says you get PND straight away after the birth - I've heard first-hand accounts of women diagnosed with it when their child was 2 years old :rolleyes:

tiamai_d

Mics_chick wrote: »

Who says you get PND straight away after the birth - I've heard first-hand accounts of women diagnosed with it when their child was 2 years old :rolleyes:

Exactly! With both kids it was when they hit 1yr old that PND hit me. OK, the second one was a lot more complicated as I had all the stuff from his birth and being told of his resulting disability, but still, once they hit 1, I get depressed.

You are bombarded with stupid questionnaires when they are babies 'how sad do you feel on a scale of 1 to 10'. These may help some Mothers, but its as good as asking 'Heyy, are you depressed?' how many will honestly turn around and say yes? Not only that, but the way these sheets were slipped to me, it was all hush hush.

Think I'm just having a bad day, I'm reading through these posts and feel so !!!!ed off with the way we are treated some times. I also help run a support group for Plagiocephaly, babies with flat heads, and it seems to be a recurrent story. If it has to do with Mother's and Babies but there is no risk to life, they don't want to know.

bylromarha

Welshlassie wrote: »

Best of luck and try and enjoy (as weird as that sounds)

Sorry to hear it wasn't good for you OP, but have to say I loved giving birth both times and thoroughly enjoyed it, even though I had the crash team for both of them-1st I had a PPH, 2nd was born in the car whilst driving to the hospital.

The 1st birth could have been a negative experience as it all went wrong very quickly, but the midwife was great and came and explained to me what happened about an hour afterwards, then again 5 hours afterwards and came and saw me the next day too just to see if I'd thought of any questions overnight...inkie hit it spot on-I was informed, so I view the birth as a positive time...though not so sure I'd feel so good about it if no-one had explained to me what had happened so throughly.

Would happily give birth again as i loved it so much, but would not be so keen to take the little bundle home! 2's enough for us thanks!;)

tiamai_d

Its strange, I had a really good experience the first time, yet I was shot down in flames for saying 'oh, it wasn't nearly as bad as people say and I didn't think it hurt that much'. One woman went off on a right rant about how there is no way anyone can honestly say its didn't hurt. Well, it did hurt, a lot, but not as much as I expected.

I think its just sods law how it goes for you, but it helps to have as much info and supportive midwives/GP's etc who explain things and accept that even though they know what they are doing, you have no idea whats going on.

inkie

I too enjoyed both my labours and deliveries - I had the same midwife for both. However, I must say that as a midwife I had 'too much' information! I remember looking at the CTG (monitor), and seeing the heartrate dipping and asking who was the obstetrician on call that evening. The friend of mine who was looking after me turned the monitor around and turned the sound off so that I wasn't worrying! I did not think that it was as painful as I was anticipating it to be.

Ishtar

Mics_chick wrote: »

Who says you get PND straight away after the birth - I've heard first-hand accounts of women diagnosed with it when their child was 2 years old :rolleyes:

True. I was diagnosed when my daughter was 18 months old and it took me the best part of a year (and more Prozac than I wanted to take) to start feeling normal again.

As for saying it's impossible to suffer PTSD after the birth - well, that's probably a load of old wossnames!

Thankfully, I didn't have a very traumatic experience and I think I coped quite well with the labour and birth, but I can see how it can easily turn out to be very different to your expectations. After all, you are often in a strange environment...if it's your first baby, then it's something you've never experienced before, and in some instances you feel out of control - I certainly did. You can easily draw a parallel with, say, a car accident - something which is known to cause PTSD.

I sometimes wonder whether doctors are too dismissive...

D.

Crispy_Ambulance

a lot of hospitals now have midwives who are specially trained to debrief birth experiences, so it may be worth contacting them and seeing if there is somebody who can go through what happened with you.

Giving birth is a profound, life changing experience for women and can sometimes be deeply traumatic, with long term effects. Knowing what is happening in the body and the pros and cons of choices you may be asked to make can help women regain control. Try contacting the National Childbirth Trust - many branches run refresher classes.

inkie

Thankfully, I didn't have a very traumatic experience and I think I coped quite well with the labour and birth, but I can see how it can easily turn out to be very different to your expectations. After all, you are often in a strange environment...if it's your first baby, then it's something you've never experienced before, and in some instances you feel out of control - I certainly did. You can easily draw a parallel with, say, a car accident - something which is known to cause PTSD.

I sometimes wonder whether doctors are too dismissive...

I don't think that it is that they are dismissive per se, but are not the best people to deal with it. I think a lot of the problems with the fact that people feel ill-debriefed after delivery is the way that care is organised i.e. different professionals undertaking intra-partum and post-natal care.
I worked as part of a team where we did the 'full-monty' for our ladies i.e. ante-natal, post-natal and delivery too, and so if a 'traumatic delivery' had taken place I would have been there, and would have been able to give support re: this in the post-natal period - I think that such continuity would reduce the occurance of things slipping through the net and would be foremost in the thinking of midwifery staff.

squashy

Glad it's not just me. Looking back I realise I was very panicky during the birth of my two children, and I am expecting my third in 9 weeks so I am obvioulsy worried about feeling this way again. I recognise that I do get panicky in certain situations too, such as when I needed a General Anaesthetic last year and I started hyperventilating before they even got the line in my hand. I also have not had and do not want an epidural or pethidine so i guess I am just going to have to rely on entonox again. i would love to try reflexology but I don't think I would be able to afford for them to come to the actual labour.

Thanks for this thread, I'll be watching with interest for tips on getting through it.