Labour- didn't know what to do/what was going on with my body - anyone else the same?

hippychick1

My first labour I was totally unprepared for. I hadn't been told/read enough about giving birth to really be prepared. When I went into labour to begin with I was very calm. When the pain got really intense (baby was born face up as oppose to face down = long and more painful labour apparently) I just lost control and panicked. Eventually gave birth with the help of ventouse, which actually broke, then forceps. He was 10lb 1oz :eek: which didn't help matters!
During my second pregnancy I suffered from panic attacks from 6 months onwards, I was so scared of giving birth. I had a fantastic midwife this time (made all the diference). Everything went much smoother (even though baby was wrong way round again) and I got by with a couple of puffs of gas and air.
I am 24 weeks pregnant at the moment and have just started suffering mild panic attacks. I'm not too sure why. I feel much calmer this time around and am hoping for a home birth which I feel would make me more relaxed. The local hospital does not offer gas and air anyway so I may as well be at home.

These experiences have made me want to train to be a midwife. Even during my first pregnancy I knew the midwives looking after me seemed pretty useless and I know I can do a lot better!

tiamai_d

My first was great. I had to be induced 5 weeks early due to pre-ecclampsia. I had been offered a section, but firmly refused (a fear of operations) everything was explained to me, I was calm, even laughing! Everyone round about me was calm. When it got the hard bit I kept falling asleep between contractions. Good job as it did get a bit worrying at the end, baby's heart rate was dropping. Remember the doctor in between my legs, telling me something, his mouth was moving and I thought 'yea, whatever, night night' would wake to push and fall asleep again, was great!

Second time, was the whole emergency c section, 33 weeks, placentral abruption, blood loss, ecclampsia, baby heart rate very low, and then 3 days afterwards I was in intensive care. A lot happened, and it was scary. A week afterwards, I was 'debriefed' by the doctor who had performed the c section, in a very clinical way. I was in my room, alone, hubby was at home with other son, baby was still in NICU, and this Doctor was telling me 'you lost a lot of blood, your clotting factors were so low that the c section could have killed you, but we gave you medicine for that. Baby was delivered and resuscitated for 15mins, his agpa was 0, then 2, then 4. You then went ecclamptic, I have no idea how you survived that. Your liver and kidneys started to fail, your heart was tachicardic, you almost had a heart attack, but again, somehow you pulled through, so thats fine then.' Then left me, alone. I held it together for 12 months, well, hid it more like, even after discovering at 8 months that my son has cerebral palsy due to him been starved of oxygen as he was being born and then I snapped. You hear people talking of post traumatic stress disorder after having a baby, but you have no idea what it is like.

All I can advise you, is that at any point if you feel like your not coping, tell someone, do not keep it bottled up. Its natural also to talk about it afterwards, I think thats where I went wrong. My husband went through just as much as I did, and he did not want to talk about it, so I didn't get the chance to talk it all through. Even now, after speaking to a councilor, I still get upset talking about it, and yes, I do have a morbid obsession with it. But eventually the memory of it does fade.

candygirl

Yea even though it was over 20 years ago I still shudder at the memory of it.Basically 2 weeks late, went in to be induced, 36 hours later had a horrific forceps delivery and episiotomy.
Didn't want to put anyone off who hasn't experienced the joys yet, but in my experience some people are more made for it than others.Back in the dark ages both me and my daughter would have died, as I am in no way a natural at child birth. On the other hand my sis in law (who's had 2 kids in a year!!) had them both in under an hour from start to finish of labour.Now she is a natural at it;)

inkie

[QUOTE]
Didn't want to put anyone off who hasn't experienced the joys yet, but in my experience some people are more made for it than others
[/quote]

Yep, that's right. Only 50% of women have a 'gynaecoid' pelvis (a true female pelvis)

Snaggles

inkie wrote: »

Yep, that's right. Only 50% of women have a 'gynaecoid' pelvis (a true female pelvis)

Gulp!

*goes off to look this up on Google*

Snaggles

I had a horrible labour with my first, and an amazing, fantastic labour with my second, and the only real difference was how in control I felt (not even remotely with my first, and much more so with my second).

I read everything I could possibly read, and watched endless hours of 'Homebirth Diaries' and 'Portland Babies' etc, and while they scared me silly, I felt really well informed, and when the time came, I didn't panic all that much.

My second labour was incredibly fast (set off to hospital after my second contraction because my waters broke and they had meconium in them), and still only just got there in time, and DD was nearly born in the hospital corridor.

I was scared, but calm, if that makes sense, and I felt in control. It also helped that I had discussed my birth plan with hubby beforehand, so he was able to be the one that said 'actually we don't want to do that' and 'why do you need to do that'.

My second was such a lovely experience (despite the pain, which in actual fact wasn't that bad really) that I just want to do it again and again - but hubby says I'm not allowed....booo!!!

I also can't stop talking about it....so sorry for rambling on!

candygirl

inkie wrote: »

[QUOTE]
Didn't want to put anyone off who hasn't experienced the joys yet, but in my experience some people are more made for it than others

Yep, that's right. Only 50% of women have a 'gynaecoid' pelvis (a true female pelvis)[/quote]
ooh i've never heard of this..just off to look it up too:p

positivelymummy

Snaggles wrote: »

Gulp!

*goes off to look this up on Google*

he he, i googled too!, learn something new every day, and speaking og pelvis's, on top of my other labour probs (see earlier post) i also had Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction, which left me practically crippled for 2 years! wore a support belt, had crutches and dr arranged for home help (i turned down the home help as i had my o/h!) but the funny side of it was the midwives said when i was giving birth i hadn't to open my legs more than 30/40cm:eek: ??? anyone tried giving birth with their legs crossed:D of course it was completely ignored once we got in the labour room:D

candygirl

positivelymummy wrote: »

he he, i googled too!, learn something new every day, and speaking og pelvis's, on top of my other labour probs (see earlier post) i also had Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction, which left me practically crippled for 2 years! wore a support belt, had crutches and dr arranged for home help (i turned down the home help as i had my o/h!) but the funny side of it was the midwives said when i was giving birth i hadn't to open my legs more than 30/40cm:eek: ??? anyone tried giving birth with their legs crossed:D of course it was completely ignored once we got in the labour room:D

Apparently I have a long vaginal passage too.They got all the trainee docs in to have a look and feel as it was supposedly unusual.Led to probs wiv smears etc too.Oh the joys .....:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

positivelymummy

candygirl wrote: »

Apparently I have a long vaginal passage too.They got all the trainee docs in to have a look and feel as it was supposedly unusual.Led to probs wiv smears etc too.Oh the joys .....:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

nice of em to invite everyone along for a look eh?:eek: