Advice on moving out of London

Charlton_King

We have had several London relocators hereabouts who, having sold their squalid basement flats in the capital, are of course able to inflict themselves and their estuary accent on our area, forcing prices higher and pricing local people out of affordable housing.

The only good side of things was that some of them couldn't stand the quiet at night which they found 'spooky' and moved back...

PlutoinCapricorn

You may well lose as much as you gain by moving away from London. Doing a lot of research before committing yourselves certainly is a good idea. So much depends on your personality and what you like to do.

I love to get away for a day out, but it is just as good to come home to good old London. I can see all the disadvantages in living here, but the advantages more than compensate for them. I can walk in the big cemeteries and parks or go on long bus rides through green open spaces if I want to get away from the noise.

enthusiasticsaver

We moved out of Greater London 26 years ago when our daughters were small and a job transfer was offered to my husband in the South West (within 20 miles of Plymouth). Never regretted it and we are still living in a small town just inside Cornwall which has given us a lovely quality of life, cheaper housing and jobs we both like and our daughters attended wonderful local schools . The pace of life is slower certainly but we like that and it is lovely being able to enjoy the countryside and beaches and we have the best of both worlds as our family still live in the London area so we visit them and do the theatres, concerts and London sights as if we were on holiday. All our friends thought we were mad to move out at the time and issued dire warnings but we never regretted it.


Downsides are that public transport is not as good as London so if you don't drive that could be a problem, job opportunities also not as good for youngsters, our elder daughter has moved to the Midlands for work, our other daughter has stayed down here and married. There are jobs here for those who want to work, our daughters and all their friends are working but salaries and promotion are not as good as in London. Luckily my husband has worked for a multi national company for more than 30 years and he actually got a pay increase and promotion when we moved down but he reached a ceiling down here about 15 years ago which he could only increase by moving back to the City but we decided the quality of life was more important and it is still a good salary. Housing costs are still expensive down here but still better than London. Concerts and theatre shows are not as varied as further up country but we do all that when we come up to London for long weekends or the occasional week to visit relatives.

littlegreenparrot

Charlton_King wrote: »

We have had several London relocators hereabouts who, having sold their squalid basement flats in the capital, are of course able to inflict themselves and their estuary accent on our area, forcing prices higher and pricing local people out of affordable housing.

The only good side of things was that some of them couldn't stand the quiet at night which they found 'spooky' and moved back...

In the small home counties market town I grew up in there are also many incomers, which was fine. What wasn't fine were complaints about the noise from church bell ringing (having moved into a beautiful house next to the church) And also complaints about the noise from the Town Hall, which has been the place to hold parties/discos for 200 years, and is one of very few amenities available. They had moved into a house directly opposite. Believe me, these are genuine :rotfl:
I'm sure these families left with tales about how very unwelcoming everyone was. So my only advice is, if you do move somewhere small, don't try and change everything!

trailingspouse

Research is the key. Choose a place that seems likely, and visit/stay there at various times - including during the winter. A place that seems vibrant during the summer season could be completely dead in the winter. Also steer clear of traditional 'retirement' areas, unless you want to be surrounded by old folk.

BUT - there is life outside of London. I love to visit - it's one of my favourite cities in the world - but I wouldn't want to live there.

Why is your OH reluctant? I think you need a full and frank discussion.

Caterina

Interesting points, thank you, including detecting a slight note of hostility towards "incomers" from London, on the part of Charlton King. Having to take into account the prejudice attached to the fact that people are coming from London, regardless of their origins AND manners, is one of the things that we need to weigh.

I have read a few forum threads in places that we might consider, and funny that there has been a couple of mentions of Lewes, which is a potential, and the hostility is quite appalling in some cases.

I understand that there are a lot of braying city bankers that "downshift" from their multi million penthouses to 5 bedroom cottages in the village, then go and try to impose their ways and complain (as per littlegrenparrot's post above) but it is not pleasant to be at the receiving end of such sweeping generalisation. However it is USEFUL because if we decide to move we want to do it fully aware of the pitfalls. Re. bells, we live in front of a church and are well used to the bells!

Trailingspouse, DH is reluctant because he does not like change, mainly. So far he has resisted it because he did not want the aggro of having to look for a new job, but now that he is not far from retirement he is the first to say that he is amenable to the idea. He comes from a tiny mining village in Yorkshire and knows too well the downfalls of living in a village. However I am very clear about not wanting to live in a village, my idea is the outskirts of a smallish to mediumish town, large garden, small manageable house, facilities within reach. Traditional retirement places would not bother me too much because there are a lot of "age appropriate" activities, music events, gentle yoga, walks etc, I noticed this, having been on a few holiday in Shanklin, Isle of Wight, the capital of retirement in the South of England! As well as a few towns on the south coast (Bexhill and surrounds). And a bit of quiet in winter would be very welcome, in fact a bit of quiet at any time, I have had enough excitement in life and crave a bit of quiet now.

Thank you all for keeping posting your experiences, this is an invaluable thing for DH and myself and it is making us reflect very carefully.

PlutoinCapricorn

I have had some culture shock during day trips, never mind short breaks!

Early closing of shops for example, and little choice of where to shop. A 'town centre' with just a handful of shops. Buses that run very infrequently by London standards.

lostinrates

Caterina wrote: »

Interesting points, thank you, including detecting a slight note of hostility towards "incomers" from London, on the part of Charlton King. Having to take into account the prejudice attached to the fact that people are coming from London, regardless of their origins AND manners, is one of the things that we need to weigh.

I have read a few forum threads in places that we might consider, and funny that there has been a couple of mentions of Lewes, which is a potential, and the hostility is quite appalling in some cases.

I understand that there are a lot of braying city bankers that "downshift" from their multi million penthouses to 5 bedroom cottages in the village, then go and try to impose their ways and complain (as per littlegrenparrot's post above) but it is not pleasant to be at the receiving end of such sweeping generalisation. However it is USEFUL because if we decide to move we want to do it fully aware of the pitfalls!

Thank you all for keeping posting your experiences, this is an invaluable thing for DH and myself and it is making us reflect very carefully.

In truth, as someone who has lived in villages where the 'big houses' very much fund and enable the community events to continue in a way they are used to while there is some griping there is often real community to. The point made about fitting in not expecting life to fit round you is the key. 'Money' and 'London' or city and country life have always been entwined and in many cases the industries and enterprises a lot of us want in communities are in no small part funded by I comer money. For my family there has always been one foot in each when in UK. for different reasons, it was the compromise measure I found more difficult to take!

greenbee

Lots of really good information here Caterina, so I hope it helps. I grew up in a tiny village (in Norfolk). I mean REALLY tiny. Probably a hamlet (about 50 people, only 2 children, amenities were the church, phone box and post box, one bus a week, no mains gas or sewage and many of the cottages got their water from shared standpipes in the street and had elsans in the back garden when I was little - and I'm in my early 40s) rather than a village. I moved to a small city for Uni, then London, then a large village and have finally returned to a more rural area - although being 10 minutes from the M3, an hour on the train from London and a population of 650 is very different from my roots!

Ken68 wrote: »

Norfolk seems popular, Caterina. Good thinking renting first.
Learn the geography, main roads and rivers, where they lead to and join. Then the streets. And the buses and times. Then you won't feel so lost. Plenty of ex-pat clubs here, though all in one place is a bit disconcerting to the locals. I had one chap from London say I talk funny, then he said there aint nuffink to do. lol

There's a reason the roads into Norfolk are so bad. It's to keep the foreigners out I agree with renting first - rural areas vary so much that committing to one is difficult. I'd recommend a lot of research and holidays.

GreyQueen wrote: »

Hi Caterina, the best quality of life is reckoned to be in market towns, of which there are many. The slower pace of life but with enough stimulation. The edge of a middling market town should give you what you require.

Villages are a different kettle of fish. Disclaimer, I am a village-born, market-town raised, small-city dweller. Villages can be very clannish and to integrate, you need to be a good mixer, with involvements in things like the bowls club, the church. Younger families may have an 'in' via the children, but older people really have to work at it. Also, a lot of villages are sadly dormitories for town and city workers, and some have up to 50% second homes, so not enough life.

Rural life is different to city life and not all the differences are positives. You're unlikely to be on mains gas, broadband will probably be slow, mobile signals sketchy, public transport laughable/ non-existant, access to healthcare not easy. The costs of the same lifestyle rural vs town are easily 20% higher. Plus you'll have kittens when you hear gunshots (the birdscarers going off in the fields) and the muck-spreading don't half whiff.

Also, consider the longer term, as in what will happen if one or either of you are no longer able to drive, and how you'd manage then.

Here's a few thoughts:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sponsored/property/strutt-and-parker/10425492/market-town-properties.html

I agree with GQ - small market town may be the best option. Villages are often polarised between 'locals' and 'incomers'. I had a major breakthrough when talking to a native - once they realised I came from a rural area, had moved to find a job, and didn't have an issue with tractors going all night, the smell of muck-spreading, lack of streetlights and pavements or moan about not having mains gas and drainage, I was completely accepted. Without getting involved in the church (big part of the community here) I've been accepted by locals, and I also get on with the incomers (after all, I am one).

MrsLurcherwalker wrote: »

We came from a small market town in mid Kent some 20 years ago on a job move due to redundancy, I should have been grateful to still have a job for He Who Knows but we moved to a large village in south Hampshire and for the first 5 years it was so unbearably lonely I was in despair. Then I grew angry with the world and it wasn't until I got a part time job in a village shop that I 'found' people here. I've learned that in a village you can't just arrive and have a place, that people who already live here might not feel that it's a good thing you have arrived to enrich their lives and that you actually have to EARN a place in the village heirarchy before you are accepted by the locals. I wouldn't want to live anywhere else now, home is here and my friends and my place is here. He Who Knows has earned his place too and we are now both very settled and very content. It does take time though and those first few years when you know no one and have no 'chatting' aquaintances are bleak and very lonely. Don't look for Utopia, you will have to seek and earn your own place in any community but when you do, it's most definitely worth it!!!

More good advice. Mrs LW lives not far from me Caterina. Maybe you should come and visit ;-)

And maybe you should visit in the middle of winter when things are at their most bleak and depressing. I went for a run today, and the farm tracks were almost liquid mud thanks to the tractors; the water levels are starting to rise and we've already had one flood warning. On the plus side, my local market town has all the facilities I need (it's 3.5 miles away) even if the greengrocer isn't that great. We have yoga classes in the village and I go to pilates classes it two neighbouring villages.

timehastoldme

Another who left London (North) to return to the midlands about four years ago, we rented in an area we thought we liked until we knew we loved it, then bought. We travel this country more than ever now we are in the middle, and have improved our finances massively. Houses are reasonable here and good red brick stock. I heart the midlands!