Advice on moving out of London

moneyistooshorttomention

Indeed...and the phrase comes to mind about those 3 wise monkeys, ie "Hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil".

In Home Area those "monkeys" meant I simply hadn't heard/seen/etc comments by hunt saboteurs. Who...me?:p. See all/hear all and say not a word because I agree with them personally....though I wasn't brave enough to join them.

In this area....its harder for me because the Three Monkeys thing here applies to keeping schtum about people not paying tax. There is a positive "industry" here almost of people who get paid and don't pay the due tax on their earnings and that is a very different kettle of fish that I personally struggle with...whilst biting my tongue hard about "No blinkin' wonder government at all levels spends b&gger all on things...because of the number of people ensuring they don't hand over the due tax on their earnings to said Government....".

Keeping schtum about hunt saboteurs = no problem.

Keeping schtum about the amount of totally illicit tax evasion going on around here = now that hurts....because I can see just how little money Government (at any level) is spending here compared to what I am used to...

catkins

I would definitely let your house out and rent somewhere. Me and OH made the mistake of not doing this when we moved out of London and then when we wanted to move back we couldn't afford to.


We moved to a village and lasted 3 years. I absolutely hated it. OH didn't dislike it as much as me but he wasn't happy there. I hated the quiet, the fact that you had to drive to the nearest shop if you run out of milk, the cinema was miles away, no decent restaurants, missed the mix of races/cultures etc in London, missed the theatres, the museums, the art galleries, the lovely parks, the transport that is far more frequent and, on the whole, more reliable. I even hated the fact that there were no pavements and every time I walked the dog I felt I risked my life walking along narrow roads with no pavements. There were far less places to walk as well as most of the surrounding area was farmland. I also hated that everywhere was just mud in the winter (I am obviously not a country person!)


We now live in Essex which is not bad although we would move back to London tomorrow if we won the lottery. We go to London at least once a month for a day or a weekend and it is an easy and fairly quick journey on the tube from Epping (also very cheap with an Oyster card (£1.50 single)). We both very much regret moving out of London and for all the people I know who have moved out and are happy I know as many who, like us, regret it

Caterina

Thank you again for more response, food for thoughts. Mostly positives but I am interested also in hearing stuff like Catkins's post above, it expresses our fears very well.

Yesterday late afternoon I was on top of the hill at the Greenwich Observatory in the park, admitting an amazing sunset, looking at the Thames below, such a beautiful view, maybe I need to stop and appreciate what I already have. Also, I feel I need more open spaces, maybe i can make sure that we spend more times outdoors, arrange walks and camping breaks, spend the odd weekend at the seaside etc.

It is going to be difficult to take a decision but we still have a bit of time so we can explore more small towns, check places in winter (now) and keep an open mind.

DH read the thread with great interest too and thanks you all for your interesting posts.

topsyturphy

Caterina we live not far from Epping in a village with a good community. 1 bus an hour, 10 min drive to tube station. Epping forest on the doorstep with lots of lovely walks. Yet only 45 mins to get to Oxford Circus. 20 mins to Stratford (Westfield). I have to drive to supermarket but quite often do online shop.

London is accessible for restaurants, theatre, museums etc but still surrounded by countryside.

catkins

Caterina, I did think about not posting as my post was far from positive but I thought it might be helpful to see the "other side" as it were.


Me and OH really thought we would be happy in the country. It had been a dream for a while but goes to show how wrong we were. I think although we did enjoy living in London and did visit the museums, galleries etc regularly as well as the places like Tower of London (people always say you don't visit places close to you but we did) we didn't appreciate it until we moved away. I had occasionally moaned about how crowded London was, especially when having to use the tube to get to work and dirty etc but now I realise how much I love London - to me it is the best city I have ever visited.


I think topsyturphy's post is interesting and agree that if you lived somewhere very close to a tube line you could still visit London frequently. Tube fares are so much cheaper than train fares. As I said, it costs £1.50 single to central London from Epping with an Oyster card whereas the train costs about £10 single. I live about a 30 minute drive to Epping but it's worth the drive to save so much money.


Every time me and OH go to London, which as I say, is frequently, I wish we lived back there. I never want to come home. I love the buzz of London

catkins

Caterina wrote: »

Thank you again for more response, food for thoughts. Mostly positives but I am interested also in hearing stuff like Catkins's post above, it expresses our fears very well.

Yesterday late afternoon I was on top of the hill at the Greenwich Observatory in the park, admitting an amazing sunset, looking at the Thames below, such a beautiful view, maybe I need to stop and appreciate what I already have. Also, I feel I need more open spaces, maybe i can make sure that we spend more times outdoors, arrange walks and camping breaks, spend the odd weekend at the seaside etc.

It is going to be difficult to take a decision but we still have a bit of time so we can explore more small towns, check places in winter (now) and keep an open mind.

DH read the thread with great interest too and thanks you all for your interesting posts.

Do you live near Greenwich? I used to live in Eltham and loved going to Greenwich Park - try and go back there at least a couple of times a year (our dog loves it there).


I do like the countryside (for holidays!) but often find there are actually less places to walk because of it being farmland. In London you have parks like Hyde Park, Green Park, Kensington Gardens, Greenwich Park, Regents Park, Richmond Park, Golders Hill Park. Also places like Hampstead Heath, Highgate Wood, Primrose Hill etc

moneyistooshorttomention

Re less places to walk in the country (ie because of much of it being farmland), I would say imo that that's not the case. What is the case is that farmers are, shall we say, not necessarily that open about public rights of way for walks across their land?;). There is the occasional one that signposts clearly/keeps it clear/etc. Most would, it seems, prefer the public not to use the walks, but "just step out firmly and ignore that" and do be prepared for the occasional obstacle (like wondering just where the continuation of a path is..as its so obscure...I've had a couple of them recently).

But the answer to that is buy a good Ordnance Survey map with the footpaths/bridle paths on and step out confidently. I have found that the Ordnance Survey people seem to have started producing a new series of maps that I find a lot easier to use recently called the "AZ Adventure" series and these come in book format, rather than large maps you struggle to fold and refold.

I think I should be just about equipped for all nearby walks now with a copy of my local one and a pair of those small garden handheld clippers (for the odd time when you can just about see you need to climb over a stile, but it has been obscured by nearby plants being "allowed" to grow over it).

*********

On a different theme, re post raised by previous poster, I do tend to feel (though maybe its just me) that there is a bit more of an outlook trying to place you within the context of a family and regard you as "a member of a family", rather than as an individual in your own right. That always feels very odd to me, as I would hate to be judged by my brothers' attitudes and opinions (and I'm sure vice-versa applies:rotfl:), as we are such different people to each other. Generally, I'm very glad there is a substantial incomer side to the community I am in, as the local side to it feels a lot more family-oriented than I am used to. So, you do have to make sure there are plenty of things going that accept "individuals", as well as "families" in smaller places. I'd certainly never had the experience of being asked "What does your husband think/do?" until I came here and was more than a little taken-aback by it....

Caterina

Catkins I live in Greenwich and often shop in Eltham, it still has a few nice small individual shops alongside the big chains. Thank you for writing up about a different perspective too, I need to think about all these issues and if I decide I want to do it with my eyes wide open, not with rose tinted spectacle and sentimentality!

GQ, a brace of freshly killed game would gross me out BIG TIME, maybe I need to think carefully shout where I go!

Money I understand what you mean about being an individual, interestingly this is one of the potential worries/downsides for me in the balance of move or stay put. I am Italian and (apart from nationality) slightly unconventional, fairly outspoken and basically would stick out like a bright pink elephant in any provincial market town setting.

This could go either way. In my experience, apart from being accepted in London generally (because on a London scale I am very low in the weirdness factor), people either accept me totally, because I am "foreign and exotic and this is the way foreign people are", or they pretend to accept me, because of political correctness (embrace diversity etc) but struggle with my "foreign ways" or reject be because of my foreignness (DH family notably, but a few others too).

I have a handful of friends, British born and bred, who don't give a fig where I am from and don't comment on my "lovely accent" - I mean, put it in context! Would people feel comfortable at commenting on say a Jamaican or Punjabi accent, or even make fun of it? It happens regularly to me, I even had the assistant director in a council job do it, I could have taken action but was too new to feel comfortable with it. Racism does not only come in skin colour discrimination! My friends just accept me, sometimes take the mickey gently but it never feels forced or sarky.

OMG wher did this rant come from?

But this is something that has somehow held me back from pushing for a move more forcefully. DH would blend anywhere, he is 100% British in the most possible stereotyped way, and a gentle soul who gets along with everybody.

The quest continues!

Edited to say: we have mentioned Essex/London outskirts for small house with biggish garden, so will look around in the near future.

moneyistooshorttomention

I'm not sure that its down to Britishness or otherwise.

To me...I'm someone who has thought through many aspects of my life (what my opinions are/what my tastes are/etc/etc) and I'm as British as they come...and very conscious of the ways in which I am a product of my background, but I have made up my own mind about the vast majority of things and its not necessarily been in a conventional direction.

The Wierdness Scale, as you might call it, is set at a much higher bar the bigger the place you are in I feel. The small city I came from was different in that respect, somewhere like Brighton would (I imagine) come higher up that scale. London would rate higher still up that scale. I'm not quite sure what the casually-dressed/usually with hoodie local lads would think, for instance, of a man I am friendly with back home area who is likely to go out with dyed hair/make-up/etc and I doubt many people blink an eyelid looking at him for instance. They are quite used to people dressing like "hippies" here, though I'm aware I've instantly been identified as English before I open my mouth whenever I do so....but some things I've never seen here.

There may well be a thing that goes "The more you make up your own mind for yourself...the bigger the place you need to be in". There can be a "community opinion" on something in a smaller place rather more and some longstanding locals will give a "look" to someone who has formulated their own opinion and its different to said "community opinion". Fortunately, I can see the funny side of things and just grin when I hear, for instance, adverts on local radio that have been written by someone who obviously takes it for granted that there are "family opinions" and "family ways of doing things"...but those adverts still strike me as very odd.

At local community events in a smaller place too, there might well be commentary that includes telling spectators what family someone comes from and something about the family....so be prepared for that too in a smaller place.

In smaller places the locals don't tend to do "political correctness". Mind you...I'm not from a politically correct generation myself....but I've been surprised at a few things....

There are some smaller places with a reputation for attracting independent thinkers and I could personally, quite happily, live in Totnes or Lewes for instance without blinking...but I cant afford them. However, I think maybe greater care as to where to live has to be taken by independent individualists than by more conventional and family-oriented people. Conventional/family-oriented people can live pretty much anywhere imo, but the rest of us have to take much greater care in selecting where to be.

lostinrates

I would agree that there are more laces to walk in London and Home Counties than in the real sticks ( unless in or near a national park or trail). My experience of living in various locations in all situations meant the best place for horses riding and dog walking ( including a short drive for dog walking) was definitely Home Counties). Not enough to make me want to live there though.

On 'individuality' there are places outside London where 'eccentricity' or diversity is welcome. Glastonbury for example, the small town cultural towns and cities I was thinking of, vibrant good university places, and places that are centred amount arts and culture. These often have things like delis, independant shops, and great communities. Quite often they have decent links to London too, but not always. But most Often these have very hefty property prices too. Out of our price range for the sort of property we wanted, but we have managed to get close to a couple of them.