Job hunting is proving so stressful

Slinky

Can you create a job for yourself working from home with hours to suit you? Do you drive, could you take in ironing for example? I know you can't stand for extended periods of time, but if you can do it at your own pace it doesn't matter if you spread it out over a day or whether the kids are home or not.

Flyonthewall

Are there any parents who live nearby whose kids go to the same schools as yours? Could you drop your kids off with them? Perhaps offer to pay some petrol money for them taking them to school and/or offer to have their kids over sometime.

You could look at what you could do self-employed. Is there anything you could buy to sell or create and sell? Any services you could offer such as ironing as mentioned already? Another option is delivering catalogues. Requires walking but you could take regular breaks if that's a problem, you wouldn't be standing for hours on end. You could work your own hours. Might not pay well at the start, but if you can get regular customers buying from it you could make a decent amount from the sales.

duchy

Sounds like you are having a bit of a pity party.

You can choose to define yourself by your marriage breaking up and you having the major responsibility for your children (and yes I *do* get it wasn't the gig you signed up for) or you can say I'm bright and determined and I'm going to regard obstacles as challenges not problems ! Childcare in afterschool clubs is covered by extra CTC in the main so if you are fortunate to have access to such a club it will be affordable as what you pay will be far less than you'd earn in those extra hours -plus your job choice will be broader than trying to restrict yourself to school hours.

Stuff like choir and other after school activities may have to go in the short term although usually other parents are helpful with lifts. Have you considered changing schools to make the morning run do-able ? Yes there are compromises to be made - but realistically you chose to have several kids so the school run was always going to be an issue assuming your husband worked and you would be the one getting them all to school (I'd expect an A level student age child to be capable of helping you in the morning with really tiny ones - and the middling ones to only need checking and not babying over getting organized in the mornings though)

School jobs can be in huge demand but often jobs in colleges not so much so and often are quite family friendly with hours .Reduced fees if you want to increase your qualifications too.

As for a shortage of part-time jobs- Demand has always exceeded supply -nothing new there.

I do sympathize I was in the same situation -further complicated by not only my marriage breaking up but my son getting diagnosed with autism and my widowed Mum having a brain anurism all within the 12 months. It was hard work keeping everything going and finding a new job/s but we do it because we want life to be better for us and our kids.

You can do it -and you know you can !

As for your stupid comment about putting them all in care.....maybe they could live with their father if you don't want them (and I hope none of them read your post)

Toomuchdebt wrote: »

Call me dumb but I actually have no idea what this is meant to mean. Perhaps you're trying to tell me it's my fault for having children and being a single parent to which I will say that I didn't know in advance that my ex was going to cheat on me and go off with another woman. Perhaps you're telling me my attitude stinks? I honestly don't know.
All I know is I don't know where to turn next to try and find a job.

FBaby

I'm confused. Do you have 6 children but 5 living with you? You say you have one who has already done her A levels and one doing it now?

The 11 and 14 year old should be self-sufficient now as should the one in college. Tax credits IS to pay towards transport, and £45 a month is not that excessive.

That leaves two children of 4 and 6. Firstly, why is their school so far away? Are you saying that there is not one type of childcare available at all? How do other parents do? Are you saying that all parents in your area consist of a SAHP, or have a grand parent to look after the children? Are you sure you have checked properly? As for the children activity, do you really think that a 6 year old doing choir is more important than you being to get a job and support your family? Children activities are worked out around work, not the other way around.

I do know what it is like to be a single parent, very tough, but you make it sound like it is absolutely impossible to raise your family whilst working. The reality is that it would be tough, would require sacrifices, every one helping and contributing, but that makes it impossible only if you decide that it is.

You do come across as really not wanting to work and not wanting to look for work. My two are 11 and 14, and they have been home alone for a couple of years now. Why? Because my husband and I have to work. They have learnt that if they want pocket money, to be able to do activities, be taken to the cinema etc... they have to behave whilst they are home (which they always do). By the way, I am in a nice area and that hasn't stopped burglaries taking place. As a matter of fact, nice areas are probably as much at risk if not more.

Toomuchdebt

Slinky wrote: »

Can you create a job for yourself working from home with hours to suit you? Do you drive, could you take in ironing for example? I know you can't stand for extended periods of time, but if you can do it at your own pace it doesn't matter if you spread it out over a day or whether the kids are home or not.

I don't think I would be able to-most people specify no pets if you're ironing clothes and I have pets and no room that I could designate as a pet free room.It's the same reason I can't do childminding-my house wouldn't pass the inspection and as I only have one room plus the kitchen downstairs there's no pet free area.

Toomuchdebt

Flyonthewall wrote: »

Are there any parents who live nearby whose kids go to the same schools as yours? Could you drop your kids off with them? Perhaps offer to pay some petrol money for them taking them to school and/or offer to have their kids over sometime.

You could look at what you could do self-employed. Is there anything you could buy to sell or create and sell? Any services you could offer such as ironing as mentioned already? Another option is delivering catalogues. Requires walking but you could take regular breaks if that's a problem, you wouldn't be standing for hours on end. You could work your own hours. Might not pay well at the start, but if you can get regular customers buying from it you could make a decent amount from the sales.

No parents who live nearby that go to the 2 schools that are far away. I have looked at changing schools but the ones in my area have horrendous ofsted reports and quite frankly the children who go there are the kind that you read about in the newspapers later on and not in a good way.
I'm not good at anything in particular craft wise-nothing of a high enough standard to sell. I did look into Avon as I did that years ago but there are too many in my area,plus I don't think anyone here would buy from me as I've been told too many times in the 2 years I've lived here that we don't belong here etc etc

hlw1810

Can you re-train? I was left a single parent of six when my youngest was 3. Did an access course, now in final year of a degree. Hopefully on to teacher training next year assuming I get my first or 2:1. Youngest will be 9 by then and child care will be much easier. I've relied on the older teenagers for before and after school care and I really don't think it's done them any harm. Needs must!

Toomuchdebt

My answers are in red

FBaby wrote: »

I'm confused. Do you have 6 children but 5 living with you? You say you have one who has already done her A levels and one doing it now?Yes I have 6 children-the eldest is at uni in Cornwall and the 16 year old is year 12

The 11 and 14 year old should be self-sufficient now as should the one in college. Tax credits IS to pay towards transport, and £45 a month is not that excessive. The middle kids walk to school-the bus would be possible if it didn't mean walking for 20 minutes through an area where someone got raped last month-she will walk in the summer when it's light to save money

That leaves two children of 4 and 6. Firstly, why is their school so far away?The school is in the area I lived in before I got divorced-I didn't want to chamge everything in the children's lives as well as moving house and not living with their Dad Are you saying that there is not one type of childcare available at all?There is but I haven't found one that would be happy with picking up/dropping off at 2 schools How do other parents do? Are you saying that all parents in your area consist of a SAHP, or have a grand parent to look after the children?They're either all very rich-ie new car every year, own horses,etc, or the parents work shifts. I am the only single parent in my daughter's class,and there is only one other in my son's class. Are you sure you have checked properly? As for the children activity, do you really think that a 6 year old doing choir is more important than you being to get a job and support your family?They only do free activities as it is and I really don't want to take that away from them-they never get to do the sports clubs and gymnastics clubs as I can't afford them. Children activities are worked out around work, not the other way around.

I do know what it is like to be a single parent, very tough, but you make it sound like it is absolutely impossible to raise your family whilst working. The reality is that it would be tough, would require sacrifices, every one helping and contributing, but that makes it impossible only if you decide that it is.

You do come across as really not wanting to work and not wanting to look for work.I do want to work and if I wasn't limited by my feet I would have already found work in the hours I need.I have applied for jobs that are slightly outside these hours. I have rewritten my CV with help from a careers advisor to make it look better. I am doing courses that will hopefully help with finding wirk. The biggest issue I am finding right now is that I have no experience or little experience in the types of job I can do and although I believe I can do the work, the employers want people with experience. In the past week I have applied to Halifax(rejected), EE(rejected),3 agencies for admin jobs(rejected),3 support worker positions(no response), Nuffield Hospital receptionist(rejected), care home receptionist(no response), Asda(no response), post office (no response) Lloyds bank(rejected) and Barclays(no response).I have seen a careers advisor and had advice from her-she said I was doing all the right things.I just feel discouraged and as if I'm not going to find anything. I was offered one job but not only was it full time starting at 8 it was also 27 miles away-if I had a partner I could do something like that but I just can't manage that.My car won't even get that far. My two are 11 and 14, and they have been home alone for a couple of years now. Why? Because my husband and I have to work. They have learnt that if they want pocket money, to be able to do activities, be taken to the cinema etc... they have to behave whilst they are home (which they always do). By the way, I am in a nice area and that hasn't stopped burglaries taking place. As a matter of fact, nice areas are probably as much at risk if not more.

Toomuchdebt

hlw1810 wrote: »

Can you re-train? I was left a single parent of six when my youngest was 3. Did an access course, now in final year of a degree. Hopefully on to teacher training next year assuming I get my first or 2:1. Youngest will be 9 by then and child care will be much easier. I've relied on the older teenagers for before and after school care and I really don't think it's done them any harm. Needs must!

This was what I was planning to do this year but I already have a degree and therefore won't get funding unless it's for nursing(which would be great as I always wanted to be a midwife) however the nearest university for this is an hour away and according to the job centre I wouldn't get any extra money for living costs.I rang the student loans company to make sure and was told that yes this was correct because even though I never had a student loan as they didn't exist back then, because I have a degree, I can't get funding for another one.

Flyonthewall

If experience is an issue then perhaps look into volunteering.

It sounds as though something has to change, unless you happen to be lucky enough to find a job with the right hours.

I understand you want the kids to be able to do activities, but if them dropping activities will really help you get a job then perhaps it is worth considering. What's better long term? An activity can always be picked up again in the future, it's not the end of the world. Not having a job is surely going to have a much bigger and more negative impact on you and the kids than missing an activity or two.