prem baby question

Pepperoni

Definitely get a card.

My baby was born prem, but no where near as severely as your friends.

I didn't open half of the cards to start with as I wasn't ready, but when I was ready (and she was still in special care) I opened them and loved reading them.

I have memories of someone not sending one and then receiving it later once baby was home etc and I found it odd, like they didn't want to acknowledge the birth of my daughter until she was home safely. Home or not at the time, she had still been born!

peachyprice

Yes, buy a card. Their baby has been born and deserves to be acknowledged, same as any other baby. To not do so could be construed as not having faith that the baby will be a little trouper and will pull through.

You could also buy a little gift, just something small that they can hang on the incubator to make it 'home' for the baby.

heuchera

Thank you all for taking the time to reply

I think a card is definitely in order, but I'll look to choose the wording carefully.

I'd rather wait when it comes to gifts.

heuchera

peachyprice wrote: »

You could also buy a little gift, just something small that they can hang on the incubator to make it 'home' for the baby.

Oh that's a good idea.

arbrighton

heuchera wrote: »

Thank you all for taking the time to reply

I think a card is definitely in order, but I'll look to choose the wording carefully.

I'd rather wait when it comes to gifts.

How about 'thinking of you' or similar. Or a blank one where you can write an appropriate message?

peachyprice

heuchera wrote: »

Oh that's a good idea.

When my boys were in SCBU the WRVS ladies brought round a little trolley of small soft toys etc for the incubators, just to make them a little more personal. They had a frog each

It helps when visitors come too, if they're only allowed to look through the glass it's easier to identify which baby is in which incubator if you know they one you've come to see has a little pink bear hanging from her home.

MamaMoo_2

When the same thing happened to a friend, I bought a "blank inside" card so I could write my own sentiments, a special comfort blanket called a Cuski that's suitable for the neonatal unit (http://www.cuski.com/cuskiboo/index.php), and ordered her a pack of clothes from http://www.popngrow.co.uk
They were all very much appreciated, and also came in very useful, and let my friend know that I was thinking of her.

trailingspouse

When my son was born (11 weeks early) we got a couple of cards from people who knew what had happened, and my SIL sent a teddy from Canada. Sadly he only lived 2 1/2 days, but I loved the fact that for just a few short hours we had a little boy and his existence had been acknowledged. The teddy didn't arrive until after the funeral, and my SIL felt awful about it, but it didn't bother me - it was a small strand of normality on our journey to hell and back.

I would say - send a card, but send it quickly.

And if things turn out badly, acknowledge that as well. You wouldn't believe the number of people who say nothing because they don't know what to say. It doesn't help, and can make you feel very isolated.

Kaye1

I had a little prem and I loved the cards. I had a baby. Even though things were a bit wobbly, someone sent me a tiny bear (about 7cm tall) for the incubator- a tiny bear for my tiny baby. I was so thrilled and the bear became a favourite.
All was well in the end and while I was terribly upset to see all the happy Mums on the main ward, I still had a beautiful baby.

kingfisherblue

My son was prem, but not greatly so. However, her was born with several major abnormalities that needed immediate surgery to save his life. Before his birth, we knew that there was a chance that he wouldn't make it. As it happened, he had the predicted abnormalities and more besides. His first surgery was at nine hours old, and just prior to that, he was given four hours to live. I was in one hospital, having had a Caesarean (emergency, given the injection in my hand as the doctors ran me up the corridor). My son was in Alder Hey in Liverpool. We were very lucky, my son recovered, although he was left with some lifelong disabilities in addition to being born with Down's Syndrome.


During that dreadful time, I received cards and flowers from friends and family. Two local churches added my son's name to their prayer lists. All of this this gave me great comfort. I didn't know how long my son would survive, if at all, but at least people were acknowledging his birth.


My gorgeous little fella is now 16 and I am very proud of him.


I would say definitely send a carefully chosen card. Even if the little one doesn't make it, one day the parents might want to look through the things that they received and remember how many people were rooting for him. If you do decide to send a gift, a photo frame might be appropriate. You could also consider handcream for mum (hospitals dry your skin terribly - trust me, I've spent enough time in them over the years to know!). Hospital food isn't usually great, so you might want to take in something tasty. When a friend was in a couple of years ago, with her daughter, I took in soup and rolls from a local bakery, along with a gooey cake. It made a difference to them, and they were delighted.


I hope that the baby is alright. Her parents will need to know that their friends are still there for them, so even a text each day would probably mean a lot to them.