Relationship woes , am I wrong ??

Zipper01

Regular poster here, just need some anonymity
My new Girlfriend and I are both in our 50's we've been together for 3 months and all is great except .......
I work with a close knit team( mainly women) and have done for 4 years we are always doing each other favours ( picking up shopping etc)/ socialising together (with their husbands/partners in tow).

All of a sudden I am expected to stop doing this and ignore their requests and only do favours for and socialise with the G/F . she accepts that I have no romantic feelings towards them but still expects me to only see them at work .

I have tried including her in social events, Indeed my colleagues have invited her too, but these are all turned down . From what she says trust has never been an issue in previous relationships , your thoughts please

Guest101

Sounds very controlling, is this something u want to continue to experience?

Tigsteroonie

Zipper01 wrote: »

All of a sudden I am expected to stop doing this and ignore their requests and only do favours for and socialise with the G/F .

Stop doing them? Or stop doing them in preference to doing stuff with your GF?

I'm just thinking, your GF might consider that you are prioritising your work colleagues/friends over her - and she wants to be the centre of your attention just now.

Errata

My honest advice? Start running, she's not worth your time or trouble.

Torry_Quine

It does seem wrong of her to dictate who you have contact with. Obviously you may not have as much time spare as before but she shouldn't have told you who to help.

candygirl

Errata wrote: »

My honest advice? Start running, she's not worth your time or trouble.

Totally agree, having been in a controlling relationship, that was horrendous:(

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Zipper01 wrote: »

Regular poster here, just need some anonymity
My new Girlfriend and I are both in our 50's we've been together for 3 months and all is great except .......
I work with a close knit team( mainly women) and have done for 4 years we are always doing each other favours ( picking up shopping etc)/ socialising together (with their husbands/partners in tow).

All of a sudden I am expected to stop doing this and ignore their requests and only do favours for and socialise with the G/F . she accepts that I have no romantic feelings towards them but still expects me to only see them at work .

I have tried including her in social events, Indeed my colleagues have invited her too, but these are all turned down . From what she says trust has never been an issue in previous relationships , your thoughts please

Well, that explains why she was single, then.


Run.


Now.

meritaten

I think the word here is 'Compromise'. you agree to spend more time with GF, but she agrees that you should have 'some' time with colleagues (who I would class as 'friends' from what you tell us). if she will not agree to this - think hard about spending the rest of your life exclusively with her.

Mojisola

Zipper01 wrote: »

All of a sudden I am expected to stop doing this and ignore their requests and only do favours for and socialise with the G/F . she accepts that I have no romantic feelings towards them but still expects me to only see them at work .

I have tried including her in social events, Indeed my colleagues have invited her too, but these are all turned down . From what she says trust has never been an issue in previous relationships , your thoughts please

Does she have any friends other than you? Does she spend any time with them?

VEGPIP

Zipper01 wrote: »

Regular poster here, just need some anonymity
My new Girlfriend and I are both in our 50's we've been together for 3 months and all is great except .......
I work with a close knit team( mainly women) and have done for 4 years we are always doing each other favours ( picking up shopping etc)/ socialising together (with their husbands/partners in tow).

All of a sudden I am expected to stop doing this and ignore their requests and only do favours for and socialise with the G/F . she accepts that I have no romantic feelings towards them but still expects me to only see them at work .

I have tried including her in social events, Indeed my colleagues have invited her too, but these are all turned down . From what she says trust has never been an issue in previous relationships , your thoughts please

Run now, it'll only get worse with time. I was in similar relationship that I was stuck in for years.

duchy

How MUCH time do you spend running errands for these workmates?
None of them sound needy and have partners so why do they need you running around for them.

Maybe your girlfriend thinks they are taking the pee and wants it to stop as she feels they are taking advantage of your good nature ?

I can't imagine my partner (who is the same age as you) running errands for women he merely works with -He's not a lackey and has a full life himself so wouldn't have the time even if he had the inclination. I can't think of any non work female friend he needs to shop for either -if they can't do it their partners do it.

I wouldn't encourage my partner to socalise with people I felt were taking advantage of him either.