NOT BUYING IT! 2015 - A consumer holiday

WeeMidgie

I've been forced to write to a friend who lives some distance away, and has known for several years that I don't want Christmas gifts, but who said on the phone last night that she had the last few Christmases gifts waiting for me, plus this year's... talk about ignoring a clearly stated wish!


Here's the letter - sent by email:

Dear B,

I realise you are having difficulty accepted that I really don't want any gifts. I think it's important that you realise how disempowering and dismissive of my expressed wishes you're being by saying that you WILL give me gifts when I have quite clearly stated on more than one occasion that I don't want any gifts. I know my own mind, I don't buy into the false commercialisation of Christmas, and I do not need or want you to give me any gifts.

Here's an interesting quote from a blog:
_________________________________________________
What a request for no gifts means.

I saw this tweet go past that said, “When a girl says she DOESN’T want a Christmas gift, she really does.”
To which I responded, “If a woman says she doesn’t want an X-mas gift, she means it.”
Strangely, this seems to be a point of controversy and I got responses such as, “this is a trap. ,” and “Even if she means it, that’s not going to keep me from getting her one.”
Look… do we really have to have the “No means no” conversation again?
I mean, you do realize that this betrays your opinion that people are liars, right? Because, otherwise what it means is that your need to feel important generous trumps respecting someone’s wishes.
_______________________________________________________________


Non material gifts work well! The gift of time - Just to meet up and share a meal or a coffee together is much more meaningful.

My friend L and I are giving each other the gift of help: I have helped her clear out a room, and taken unwanted stuff to the charity shop for her. In return, she's going to come and help me hang pictures round the house. Double bonus - we each get the help we need, have fun doing something which wouldn't be fun single-handed, and no unwanted gifts enter each other's houses.

Quite a few other friends and family I have no-present pacts with, and mostly because we feel strongly about wastes of the earth's precious resources, and we all have more than enough of everything. I don't need unwanted stuff - the downsize from my previous house was about simplifying life. Unwanted stuff is a burden.

Please view this video, when you have a moment:

(Link to The Story of Stuff video)

So, my dear, by all means let's meet up and enjoy the gift of each other's presence, so much more precious than any material object, but please stop it with trying to force me, against my expressed will, to accept things I REALLY don't want. No thanks really means no thanks.

Have a very happy and peaceful Christmas!

________________________________________________

I hope she finally accepts that NO means No!! She's someone who is inclined to think that she knows best. She's a retired primary school headteacher, used to her word being taken as gospel!

But this girl's reading from the gospel of thrift and having enough already :rotfl::rotfl:

Primrose

[QUOTE=edwink;


Maybe some of you on-board could grow a few of the cut and come again lettuces. These are lettuces (for those that have never grown their own veg) that you can take leaves off of as and when you need them. This type of lettuce just keeps on growing. They say you can cut leaves off at least 4 times before it actually will stop growing. This type of lettuce is great if you do not have a lot of space to grow veg. Y

Edwink x[/QUOTE]

I!m a great fan of these lettuces as although I grow my own salads from seed I find that these are far cheaper then buying strips of salad leaf seedlings from garden centres where you can pay about £1.99 or more for six seedlings. In the Living Leaves punnets you can get up to 40 little plants which if carefully separated and planted out will keep you in salads for ages . They are useful starter plants while your other salad leaves seeds are still germinating.

CAFCGirl

JackieO wrote: »

CAFCGirl I only just seen this as a day goes by and the thread is galloping away again :) I wish I'd know I have a very large wool stash in my house and you would have been welcome to have what ever you like I rarely buy wool as my friends all seem to 'donate ' it to me as I'm the 'knitting lady' I make blankets for The Linus Project which ships them to children around the world who have nothing at all,also I make small ones for prem babies along with tiny hats for then as prem. babies feel the cold even in hospital.And I only live 10 minutes away from you I could have loaded some in my car, and met up at Dobbies at Bowaters roundabout great idea of making the presents though I think people love something where a bit of thought has gone into it.

Thats so incredibly kind of you and truly appreciated. Would Dobbies have been for the free tea and coffee? :rotfl: I'm actually a stone's throw from the hospital, as yourself I believe...... I imagine we live not 3 roads apart.....
I'm hoping they appreciate them, and I think they say more in terms of effort than £'s and I'm ok with it now, as frankly I dont have any other option.

DH has had a 'meltdown' over money, and has ransacked the dvd collection and sent off £75 worth to MusicBird. I hate having to point out to him how much he has spent on them to only get £75 worth but maybe this is what it will take for him to realise we cannot afford to live the way we have been.....:(

Aril

Hello:D We have gone completely retail mad today and bought...wait for it....drumroll...a battery:D Mr Gbt's watch has conked out and they are far cheaper from Boots than buying them in a jewellers. The town seemed busy but not frantic. We went off to the local Methodist church in the town to view all the Christmas trees which the various clubs that use their church hall had made. They'd laid on a lovely light lunch of soup and homemade cake for which you could make a donation of your choice [or not] to a local charity.

Please remember that the Ship of Not Buying It does have lifeboats so if you do fall overboard [I know I will many times:o] during the course of the year we are here to rescue you and keep you afloat until you find your sea legs again!

Arilx

greenbee

It's Panic Saturday here... not due to shopping (hate it, haven't been near any retail outlet for several days) but because I've suddenly got rather a lot of family descending tomorrow afternoon. I invited them, and it'll be lovely to see them, but it does mean I have to get a move on with finishing my Christmas preps - cleaning and putting up decorations.

Presents are all wrapped. I only had brown paper, but found some of the kids' crayons and have drawn holly on it - it looks a lot better than I expected! This year's presents are more modest than they have been in the past, but we know that they are all things that people want.

I've just found some pastry in the freezer, and a jar of last year's mincemeat, so should be able to run to homemade mince pies tomorrow!

Primrose

Well it,s surprising how unusual Christmas parcels can look if wrapped up with newspaper if they have some attractive ribbon round them and a nice bow or some real holly stuck on.

carolbee

CAFCGirl wrote: »

Thats so incredibly kind of you and truly appreciated. Would Dobbies have been for the free tea and coffee? :rotfl: I'm actually a stone's throw from the hospital, as yourself I believe...... I imagine we live not 3 roads apart.....
I'm hoping they appreciate them, and I think they say more in terms of effort than £'s and I'm ok with it now, as frankly I dont have any other option.

DH has had a 'meltdown' over money, and has ransacked the dvd collection and sent off £75 worth to MusicBird. I hate having to point out to him how much he has spent on them to only get £75 worth but maybe this is what it will take for him to realise we cannot afford to live the way we have been.....:(

I was in Dobbies today, never been there before, and thought to myself are there any MSE'rs in here, they would have been the ones with the free coffees!

mirry

I like the idea of real Holly stuck on the wrapped presents, it might stop my lot from playing guess the gift .

I think tomorrow is scary sunday, Then it's Mad Monday, Terrible Tuesday & worried Wednesday :rotfl:

Effyb4

I've really enjoyed keeping up with the thread. Today I did go into town and got the boys a couple of books each and a dvd from some charity shops. I didn't spend a lot. I shall also make up some vouchers for them saying something like 'Boy's meal choice for one night' or 'Mum will bake boy's choice of biscuits or cake'. I think they will appreciate these gifts and it will give them something to open.

I have also been thinking about what I can do for DH. We have agreed not to buy each other presents, but I thought I could offer to wash his bikes for him.

PenguinOfDeath

Primrose wrote: »

I!m a great fan of these lettuces as although I grow my own salads from seed I find that these are far cheaper then buying strips of salad leaf seedlings from garden centres where you can pay about £1.99 or more for six seedlings. In the Living Leaves punnets you can get up to 40 little plants which if carefully separated and planted out will keep you in salads for ages . They are useful starter plants while your other salad leaves seeds are still germinating.

These do sounds good, I have a small planter to go on the kitchen windowsill which is crying out for something productive to be grown in it, off to investigate these now