divorce advice please

TBagpuss

You definitely need to get some proper advice. Look for a solicitor who is a member of Resolution.

In trying to come to a finacial settlement, a court (if it got that far) would have to try to come up with a settlement which was fair to you both, taking into account all of the circumstances. Things a court will consider include:
- Your ages, and the length of the relationship
- Your incomes and earning capacities
- your financial needs
- the needs of any children.

Although contributions can be a factor, they tend to come a long way down the list. Contributions to the family home are less likely than other types of contribution to be taken into account.

Generally, the issue of your respective needs and the needs of any child are the key factors.

One thing for you to look into is what your own mortgage capacity will be as a single person - speak to an independent mortgage advisor to get a feel for what you would be able to borrow in your sole name (assuming the exisiting mortgage is paid off). Before you sepeak to the mortgage advisor, check out your eligibility for tax credits so you have an idea of what you may be able to claim, as some lender swill take this into account.

Once you have an idea of what you may be able to borrow (and can afford the repayments on!) you can also look at what properties are available which would be suitable for you, and then work backwards with those numbers to work out what the minimum is that you would need as a deposit, in order to be able to rehome.

That will give you some idea of what you would need from the sale of the house, if it is sold, and whether selling it is the best way forward.

before you can really start to discuss a financial settlement however you need to know what the assets are, so you and he will each need to give the other details of your finances - he will need to provide copies of his last 2-3 years accounts, and perhaps his tax return, and you will both need to provide bank statements , pension values etc.

Moving out can be a mistake as while it does not change your legal rights, it can make things much more difficult on a practical level, not least becasue it may mean that he has much less incentive to move things forward, if he is comfortable in the house. If you do move out, consider taking with you anything which you want and which could not be replaced (personal items, photos etc) and take photos of all the rooms and the outside rof the hosue so you have a record of what was in the house, and the general condition everything including the house itself was in, at the time you moved out.

Take final readings and ensure that you notify all of the utility companies you are moving out, to get final bills and your name removed from the accounts.

But first , go and see a solicitor.

Guest101

U signed as tenants in common on an uneven split. Uve not been together a long time, the judge could decide u both go back to the starting position.

However, equally he could decide as other posters have suggested.

What's the grounds for divorce? Assuming you haven't been seperate two years

TBagpuss

Guest101 wrote: »

U signed as tenants in common on an uneven split. Uve not been together a long time, the judge could decide u both go back to the starting position.

However, equally he could decide as other posters have suggested.

What's the grounds for divorce? Assuming you haven't been seperate two years

It would be unusual to follow the Dec,. of Trust given that there is now a child involved. The reason for the divorce is irrelevant to the financial settlement unless it is based on very serious bad behaviour which is likely to have direct financial consequences.

Guest101

TBagpuss wrote: »

It would be unusual to follow the Dec,. of Trust given that there is now a child involved. The reason for the divorce is irrelevant to the financial settlement unless it is based on very serious bad behaviour which is likely to have direct financial consequences.

The partner may be given a charge on the property which takes into account the DOT, whilst ordering the house to remain for the child to live in.

My point is that until 3 years ago, the arrangement was clear, then marriage took place, and it was a short marriage.

For 4 years the DOT was active and both parties were happy, a court will look at this. Im just pointing out that this is not straight forward.

This is assuming the OP gets custody too, the STBX is self employed, this could work in favour when considering who is best placed to care for the child.

Given the OPs profession, the holiday entitlement does help of course.

But this is not clear cut, and should never be said to be, as some posters have suggested,

Floxxie

Recommend you take a look at the Wikivorce site: if you post your details, there are a number of people who can direct you on what you should expect as a financial settlement.

There is also advice on parents making arrangements for children.

DUTR

sunshine_shell wrote: »

i am about to start divorce proceedings against my husband and i need a bit of advice/wisdom about our house and mortgage. He put up 40k and i had 10k for the deposit and we bought as tenants in common (i think that's right??) as we weren't married at the time of the purchase.

he is saying that he want 'his' money out first then split the rest. which i understand as it was his Grandmas money, HOWEVER this would mean i would get very little and would reduce the chances of me being able purchasing a house for his daughter to live in.

It's also made me very angry that the first thing to come out of his mouth was about money and not the welfare of his daughter. I'm finding it harder and harder to live under the same roof as him, he has made it clear that he's not moving out because 'he has every right to be there'. My wonderful parents have offered my DD and I a safe , relaxing place to stay while things gets sorted but i'm worried about what he'll do to the house and mine and DD's possessions while we aren't there.

Am i right in thinking as long as i pay my half of the mortgage while i'm not living there i don't have to pay any other bills?

I have so many things swimming round my head! Thank you for reading my ramble

Michelle

As others have suggested, you will have to seek legal direction.
It's not all as rosy as some have suggested though.
An ex of mine had got engaged and then married to a guy who had put up a large deposit to their house, they were married a good 16 years, when divorce time came, it was as you write, he had his deposit 1st before any equity was then shared. (They had a child together and she a child before the marriage).
If you are to become the PWC then ultimately the housing and shelter will primarily be your responsibility (you don't have to buy a house) .
As for the mortgage, it's up to you if you wish to continue contributing towards it, although when time the place is sold, chances are this will reduce your share of any equity, you shouldn't have to contribute to other bills that are not solely your responsibility.

sunshine_shell

Guest101 wrote: »

This is assuming the OP gets custody too, the STBX is self employed, this could work in favour when considering who is best placed to care for the child.

Given the OPs profession, the holiday entitlement does help of course.

there is no way on this earth he would get custody of my girl, he doesn't give two hoots about her. All he wants is his stupid money, hes a haulage contractor he works away from home


I've contacted a few solicitors am trying to make an appointment after school so i can get some legal help asap

I understand that it is complicated and it will be a horrible process,I am taking everything you are saying on board and that in turn is helping me working out what to ask in my free 30 minutes! Thank you

Guest101

sunshine_shell wrote: »

there is no way on this earth he would get custody of my girl, he doesn't give two hoots about her. All he wants is his stupid money, hes a haulage contractor he works away from home


I've contacted a few solicitors am trying to make an appointment after school so i can get some legal help asap

I understand that it is complicated and it will be a horrible process,I am taking everything you are saying on board and that in turn is helping me working out what to ask in my free 30 minutes! Thank you

Whilst your probably right. Do not display that attitude in court/ with cafcas

XH - I work away your honour, always have, she won't even let me see OUR daughter.

U - he doesn't give two hoots about MY daughter.

Every alarm bell will ring

Lily-Rose_3

meer53 wrote: »

How much he earns might not be a problem, the fact that you don't know might be.

If you go to see a solicitor, they will ask this question. The financial side of any divorce is THE most important one, especially where property and children are concerned.

All you need to know is roughly what his NET profit is, do you have access to any of his paperwork/accounts etc ? If you can get the last few years figures that would help.

You're in a very vulnerable position going into a divorce without this knowledge.

Completely agree with this. I do always find it strange (these days) when a woman doesn't know what her husband earns. How do you budget and sort your finances etc?

sunshine_shell wrote: »

there is no way on this earth he would get custody of my girl, he doesn't give two hoots about her. All he wants is his stupid money, hes a haulage contractor he works away from home

I've contacted a few solicitors am trying to make an appointment after school so i can get some legal help asap

I understand that it is complicated and it will be a horrible process,I am taking everything you are saying on board and that in turn is helping me working out what to ask in my free 30 minutes! Thank you

Guest101 wrote: »

Whilst your probably right. Do not display that attitude in court/ with cafcas

XH - I work away your honour, always have, she won't even let me see OUR daughter.

U - he doesn't give two hoots about MY daughter.

Every alarm bell will ring

I have to agree with this. That attitude there didn't paint you in a very good light Shell. I understand that you're angry and sore and hurting, and I genuinely do feel sorry for you, but you calling the baby HIS daughter when referring to getting money for her, and YOUR daughter when it comes to custody seems a bit disingenuous somehow. Even though you're upset, don't let it show in court, or you will make yourself look bad.

That bit out of the way, I do believe that you should get half of everything, especially as you are married and have a daughter together. Whether the courts will agree I don't know, as maybe it depends on agreements made before. I agree with you though that it does seem awful that he is treating the mother of his child AND his child in this manner.

Sorry if you have said this already, but what is the main reason for you wanting a divorce? Is someone else involved? Did one of you have an affair? Or has the marriage just broken down? I guess knowing this makes giving information and suggestions a bit easier.

rpc

Guest101 wrote: »

My point is that until 3 years ago, the arrangement was clear, then marriage took place, and it was a short marriage.

With seven years of cohabitation and (more importantly) a child, it seems unlikely that this would be classed as a short marriage. It does depend on the judge, but the seem to be beyond the timescales that usually lead to long/short debates.

If a deed of trust exists (OP has not mentioned one) then a divorce judge can and will set it aside if they consider it fair to do so. Although one party may own more of the house, as they are married then the larger share would normally be a marital asset (as the smaller share would also be).

A prenup would be a different matter, but a deed of trust is not a prenup. A deed made four years before marriage and after only one year of cohabitation is (based on prenup guidance) not likely to carry a whole lot of weight.