A new debt free journey

lcc86

Deleted_User wrote: »

Hi lcc86 **waves**

Hi PMO2! :rotfl:

lcc86

Yesterday wasn't a NSD after all. OH and I were going to go to Southend - we've been meaning to go since May and finally got round to it but the weather was pants so we decided against it. Ended up watching football and having something to eat in a local pub. I spent £15 so not the end of the world. I'm sure I'm getting stingier by the second, I seem to begrudge spending anything these days if it's not already planned for!!

Today I may have to spend a few £'s on toiletries so another spend day. This'll mean I've still only had 4 NSD's this month so far. I REALLY need to step up if I'm to hit this target!

Today I'll mainly be doing some studying and working out. Getting a bit annoyed with my course tutor, it seems that every little example I submit isn't good enough but the feedback I get is so vague that it doesn't help me improve.

Anyway, time for breakfast and then I'll crack on.

Florence_J

Try not to feel down about only have 4 NSDs. I've only had 3!! The month is still young.

I know exactly how you feel about spending money on things that weren't pre-planned. I really hate it too!

lcc86

Thanks Florence, have managed 2 more NSD's now so that's 6/15 for me since payday. Weekdays are always easiest!

Not much to report. Spends are looking fine, food budget is looking fine, work is fine. All quiet, just how I like it! Starting my vegan health kick tomorrow so will see how that goes. One to two weeks is the goal.

A work colleague has just quit to go travelling for a couple of months, am starting to get itchy feet and wanting to do the same now... Am formulating a plan in my mind for a month in Australia it would be at least 18 months from now but if I can save the money up then I don't see why not! I first went there at a really tough time in my life in 2007 and in theory it was the start of me getting into debt, so if I could go back in 2017 once I'm debt free it would almost be like coming full circle. Anyway, enough rambling, time to cook some dinner!

lcc86

Haven't updated for a few days. Have had a couple of spendy days - hair dye, food, and went out for the day yesterday to watch a friend do some motor racing so spent on lunch. Altogether nothing major though. The veganism didn't last as long as I'd hoped, it's tough! Am trying again on Monday... I also treated myself to some expensive makeup yesterday, it was nice to have some spare cash with which to buy something and not put it on the old credit card!

Anyway, back to work tomorrow. No plans really next week so should be able to clock up those NSD's. I have 7 more to get if I'm to hit my target of 15 in September. Am also still making a PAD to my cc as well.

lcc86

Frustrating day today. My bank have suddenly done a u turn on the lease extension for our new house and have decided it needs to be registered prior to completion (we previously were going to have it registered on completion). So... This could screw up the entire thing really, the vendor is desperate to complete and this could drag it out for months or worse, make the whole thing fall through. Am really p*ssed off with the bank, the mortgage advisor is trying to sort it with the help of the solicitor, but I'm not getting my hopes up. Seems to be one thing after another with this sale/purchase, am getting pretty fed up of it tbh. :mad: Lease extensions happen all the time, I don't understand why they're being so difficult when we're weeks away from completion. If they screw this up I'll be closing my accounts with them and going elsewhere that's for sure.

lcc86

Feeling abit down over the last couple of days if I'm honest. Feel like I'm slogging away constantly and never see any results. This stuff with the house is just the latest example in my head, feels like no matter how hard I try something will always come up and ruin it. Sometimes I wonder why I bother trying to better myself, to better my life because it never seems to work. If this sale/purchase falls through I'll have wasted so much money on legal fees and it's money that could've gone towards my debt. I'm starting to wonder whether it was even worth trying to move, even with all the impending development outside my house. Maybe I should've just paid my debt off instead.

Work is also a bit rubbish, it's quiet and I get bored. We have three people doing my job when I could do it myself with no bother whatsoever, and it's getting tedious. I know I shouldn't complain, some people would love to have less to do, but for me, I hate it, and it just makes me bored. I also feel a little bit like I've failed a little bit in my job, won't go into details here but I set myself some VERY realistic targets which should've been achievable within 10 months, but I haven't hit them... It's just a bit !!!!!!.

Most of all I think I'm fed up of seeing people online enjoying their lives, travelling the world,, having children, nice houses, nice cars, and great experiences. I can't even afford to go to the pub on a Friday night despite busting my gut for four years to have a better life. It just makes me think f**k it, why am I bothering? I'm just bored of it all, bored of putting life on hold ALL the time. It's just a crappy feeling. If I'm honest, if this purchase falls through I'm probably gonna let my debt take a massive back seat and just enjoy life for a while. There's no need to try and be debt free by X date because all it does is make me miserable. Don't get me wrong, I don't want loads of material things or designer goods, far from it, I just want to be able to go to the pub if I want to or go and see a beautiful part of the country without feeling constantly stressed over money.

lcc86

Still feeling a bit cr*ppy today. I won't hear anything about the mortgage until at least Friday. Tbh I'm not holding out any hope whatsoever as my mortgage advisor said he's already been to all of his managers to try and get them to see sense and they haven't accepted it, so probably got no chance even with my solicitor writing to them to explain things. My friend has given me the details of her mortgage broker, hopefully I won't need to go down that route but I want to be prepared just in case. I don't want to lose my sale and purchase at this late stage.


Been thinking more about why I feel 'down' about work. I don't think some of my colleagues respect my role and see it as an add-on that's not particularly essential. Some have made a few comments in my time here and also I've observed people's attitudes to my role as well. It seems to be very much a case of they can take it or leave it, it doesn't really matter. I think I also miss doing case work and being bored when all my colleagues are busy isn't helping. I feel like a bit of a fraud for sitting here almost twiddling my thumbs when they're up to their eyeballs, and bizarrely, I miss that feeling! I need to speak to my manager about perhaps moving into case work, because I love where I work, the people I work with, and this field, and I don't want to become disillusioned with it, which is what I fear could happen.

lcc86

No real updates to report. Have had 5 NSD's this week - being at work is always good financially as we have no shops nearby! Tomorrow will be a spending day as I have horse riding in the afternoon but that's all I have planned.

I heard from my mortgage adviser but no updates. He is trying one last thing to get them to hopefully change their minds, if not I'm in a really difficult position. I personally am being a bit of a doom goblin and I'm convinced it's going to be bad news. I'm a worrier and a pessimist, no matter how positive I try to be I always have the negative gnawing at the back of my mind, I think that's just my personality. But it just always seems to be the way things go, just when I think I'm getting ahead, reality bites. And it's always financial. Feels like I'm destined to never catch a break financially. If the whole sale and purchase fall through, that's £1,500 down the drain once I take into account legal fees, surveys etc. :eek: If I'd been able to chuck that at my debt, I'd owe less than £4,000! I haven't owed that little for over two years. It's depressing...

I don't know what more I can do to be honest. I'm sure I was happier when I had my head buried in the sand in regards to my debt! :rotfl: it's 100% in the hands of others now. All I can do is wait and have a very, VERY large glass of wine this evening to try and forget all about it.

lcc86

Managed to enjoy a bit of a lie in this morning. Need to pop to the shops for a couple of foody bits but that's it today. Think I'm going to force myself to go for a walk somewhere, i just need to get out and clear my head. I should also clean the house but i keep thinking to myself that if we're moving it's a waste of time! :rotfl: I really should though.

Horse riding at 4pm so lots of time to do chores. I also need to pop to the bank to pay in £10 which I didn't spend last weekend, can use that for my PAD's next week.

I'm really feeling the urge to splurge so I need to keep my mind occupied to try and get rid of that feeling. I think its because I'm so stressed over money and the flat that I (wrongly) think buying something will make me feel better and right all the wrongs in the world!! must resist!!