Jobs around your kids

lynzpower

its all in the early stages, whether we will or not remains to be seen. Some parts of the carribbean of course still have corporal puinishment, adn culturally in some countries there is simply not the feminism either that IM used to . We are in no hurry to make a decison as to the wheres ,really its more where once the bunsess plan is nailed down, where we could settle. The fact is, we cant afford to live here.

No nicki - it isnt just secondary schools im afraid

As for childcare, I would love to be a childminder, it was one of the things I wanted to do when I left social work. However the lease on my old flat forbid running a business from home, and most ASTs do too.

Does anyone run a business like this from a private rented property? Am I worrying over nothing?

Essex-girl_2

Hi lynzpower

When I was pregnant with my first child I used to spend ages working out budets, asking friends with children how much so and so costs etc. The truth is everything changes once your baby is born and you manage. At the time I went back to work pt in my original job working evenings, so oh looked after our lo and also I got to spend time with adults which I really needed.

As for moving abroad we have a little pipe dream in which we move to New Zealand, not for our childrens education but for further down the line - jobs being able to afford a home. I have friends who have lived abroad and have come back to England for the education and health service. A couple of them are planning to move back abroad once there child is around 18. I am lucky in that I live in a rural area and my ds goes to the village school and beleive me everyone knows what goes on there. My DD goes to an excellent senior school in another village and is doing really well there. There is some bullying which I beleive happens at everyschool but it is dealt with well.

My stepmother is a social worker and see's horrendous stuff and I do think it changes your mindset. We moved from Leyton when I was 6, moved to Essex where my parents beleived was better for bringing up us, now i have moved from a large town in essex to here as where I was was not a place I wanted my children to be. Here my dd who is 12 plays out in the village with her mates, no were is 100% safe but here is better than a lot of places and she is learning a lot - I feel really sorry for kids who dont live in an area to do this.

My dd has a few medical problems and although loads of people moan about the nhs she has had excellent service which has been free. If and when we move we will need to factor in medical insurance which for her will be quite expensive and she will probably have some exclusions. I cant imagine living somewhere and as well as the worry of someone being in hospital anyway also worrying about the cost.

I hope you can see the light at the end of the tunnel and best wishes for whatever you chose to do.

lynzpower

Thanks essex-girl.

I know social work does alter mind sets - I seem to think about things on a much "darker" sociological level than many of my mates.

the difficulty will be finding that middle ground between living somewhere where proper work can be found, but cheap enough that I can not work if I choose to, or that theres enough part time work around without having to bear out car costs.

Funily enough, there was the first "discussion" at work of OHs potential promotion last night :j - someone must be listening to the chat we are having here

wendym

I don't know whether there's anything to help you lynz, but today's G2 (the small bit of the Guardian) is entirely about work after children, with interviews with parents, and rating lots of employers.

lynzpower

THANKS A LOT for this wendy I'll get a copy later.

Some tentative good news too, as OH was informally asked about whether he would be up for taking the promotion as someone up the chain is possibly leaving. He said, of course but all dpeends on whether said person does in fact leave or not..... Heres hoping

Red_Panda_2

Hi Lynz,

When I had my first who is now 8 we survived with a mortgage and my partner earning £11k a year, it was very tough to start but its very strange you will be ok, we were. Babies do not have to cost as much as some people like to spend.

I will admit times were tough, we argued a lot over money but we got through it.

Its very hard to plan a child, there are always a million reasons why the time is not right, mostly money, work, and time. Thats why it took 6 years before we did it again!
I have to admit the latest addition was not planned totally, we both wanted another one but the reasons not to outweighed the wants, mainly remembering how hard it was the first time, we took a few risks and thought we would leave it to chance, as it happens little one is 20 months now. I figure that it could not have been that bad or we would not have even dreamed of doing it again.

I now work 4 days a week 9-2.30 which gives me a day off with little one and means I am able to pick big one up from school which is lovely. I am also really lucky with my job as they have set me up a home office so I can put in more hours if I need to. OH works full time and is now on a very good wage so we quite comfortable now.

I think its a case of just doing it, you can over evaluate which could put you off.
As hard as it was on 11k a year I would do it all over as big Panda is fab and I wouldnt do without him.

Good luck

jo1972

Can I also say Lynz, that I moderate a board for women that are finding it difficult to get pregnant but didn't expect to. It takes on average for a healthy couple of 'the right age' a year to conceive and I've spoken to literally hundreds of women that it's taken far longer, and I mean years and years. They go through all the tests but there's nothing wrong with either of them, just didn't happen.

I hope this doesn't happen to you when you decide the time is right but you must consider this too, just cos you want it to happen at a certain point in your life it doesn't necessarily mean it will!!

I think this is where a lot of couples come unstuck cos they decide to do a career and all that but when it comes to having a family they don't consider that this will happen when it happens and quite often time runs out for some. It's very sad and very frustrating.

Sorry, made a sad post there!

lynzpower

Jo this is my concern.

I thought Id had the all clear from the hospital, ( well they said they would monitor me more, but no reason why I coudlnt start trying asap) adn then a few days later saying that they are concerned and can I come back in asap for them to think about operating. I dont know what to believe at the mo, I guess i'l have to wait till the 8th to see whether they think its something we can proceed with.

Im getting rather worried about this, as Ive been waiting nearly 15 years for a diagnosis, and now I have one, they cant work out whether its a concern or not!

jo1972

Lynz, can I ask what it is they think you have. If you think I'm being nosy tell me to !!!!!! off! PM me instead if you don't want the world to know!

wendym

I've got you sorted lynz.

You move to Liverpool*, find affordable housing in one of the nice areas, work for the statutory year, then have babies, with bucket and spade family holidays on the Isle of Man.

*see today's Guardian.