Jobs around your kids

lynzpower

madsmum wrote: »

Hi Lynx,

You've had some great suggestions already. I just wanted to add that if you really want a baby go for it. What would you of done if by accident you became pregnant? Got on with it of course! I became pregnant at 19 and boy was it a struggle. Now he's approaching 18 :eek:

I wish you the very best in your decision

MM xx

Sorry missed this one

Theres no chance of any accidents, ive got a coil so it takes plannig to know when to get it removed!

dianadors

I managed 4 years off when mine were young - it is amazing how little money you can get by on when they are tiny. I did child minding for a short while and really enjoyed that - the kid was great, but the parents took advantage of my generous nature - I should have been stricter with them! I went back to work for a telephone bank working 3 evenings 6-11pm and all day Sunday initially. My hubby was more or less able to cover for these hours. Before kids I was a training and support officer for an IT company so the bank thing was "now for something completely different"!!!! I did the banking thing until my kids were at Comprehensive school and now have an part time admin job during the day which enables me to ferry them about to various interests/clubs etc after school. I know I missed out on great earning potential (the girl I worked with in the IT role earns almost 40K now- and I dont!!) but I wouldnt have done it any other way. Hubby and I have always been there for the kids and we have always enjoyed the kids company. They are only young for such a short period of time - I cant believe where the time has gone!!. Some mothers that attended the same post natal support group as I did seem to have spent so little time with their kids. They returned to work as soon as they could "dumping" the kids (their words not mine) with Grandparents/childminders etc they have taken holidays on a regular basis without them and managed to maintain fabulous social lives. Our social lives revolve around family and friends and each others homes. We may not have the big house (or the big mortgage!!) and I know they turn their noses up at our perfectly adequete but basic cars whilst they have personally registrations on their massive cars. They considered me a freak when I didnt return to work straight away but I feel that the time I spent with my kids when they were younger is worth more than having my initials on my registration plate.

Pinklepurr

I was lucky enough to be able to spend 8 years at home with my kids, only taking on self-employed work in the evenings and weekends when childcare was not an issue. It was always important to us that I was at home for them and having raised them to school age, I am so pleased I was able to take time out to do that. Our income dropped by 12k when I stopped work and it was a struggle to begin with but we manage fine now due to OH's pay rises over the years.

I've just landed myself a job in a local school which of course is term time only and I am so chuffed as I can look after the kids myself during the holidays. The money isn't great but the most important thing to me, besides that actual job, is the flexibility. You'll find jobs at schools, universities, playgroups and pre-schools will all have similar hours but to work with children you need previous experience with working with kids, being a mum isn't enough apparently! I got my experience thru some voluntary work I did.

Now I feel like I am "starting out" again. I will never be a high flyer but that is not what is important to me. Matierial things are lovely but you can never replace your childs early years.

I think it is great that you are taking your decision to have kids so seriously. There are not many people who can say they can afford to have kids (unless they are Posh and Becks) but don't get too weighed down with agonising over the financial aspect, you will manage, most people do. Above all, kids need a stable home environment and won't care where they are or if you have a BMW X5 in the driveway.

Good luck in whatever you decide.

Ms_Piggy_2

Have you considered training as a child minder so that you could stay at home with your own but also earn?

wendym

lynzpower wrote: »

No, you are right there Bargain

I do have a fair wedge sat aside, and I am saving a lot at the moment too. however, this was in the eventuality of us emigrating in due course as we both dont want to raise our children here. this is something that I am particularly "dead set" on and almost, Id rather not have children almost than raise them here ( mainly educationally)

I'm interested to know you what your concerns are, and where you would want to move to.

My two went to the local comprehensive, and one of them is about to be a primary school Head (in a really poverty stricken area), and my 4 year old granddaughter is about to start in a reception class (in an afluent area) run by an impressively no-nonsense teacher. Americans over here for the husband's job had heard such horror stories that they assumed they'd go private, but their son is going to the same state primary as they're so impressed by both the staff and the facilities.

Spendless

lynzpower wrote: »

Spendless- no thats INCLUDING TCs! which is why im so worried as of course, Id prefer not to have to have TCs as the government give and take them whenever they please. Which of course does not make for stability!

I've looked back thru this thread and I can't see what I've asked so I don't know how to answer IYSWIM.

tbh-it sounds like you want a child and need to go ahead cos of health reasons. In your position, I think I would use the money you have to compensate any short-fall. Children don't have to be educated in this country until they are 5, so you have until that time to emigrate if that is your wish.

ETA- don't assume an accident could never happen either. I most certainly once worked with a woman whose 4th child was conceived whilst she had a coil fitted.

tiamai_d

Just to let you know that you can't plan for everything.

I am now an at-home carer. My DS2 has cerebral palsy, he is 2, and I had to give up work completely. Luckily I get carers allowance, and with the top up from tax credits due to him being disabled, we manage.

I had the big plan for after I had him, I was training to be a manager. Had childcare sorted, bla bla bla.... then when he was 8 months old and i was back at work full time, we were told 'he has brain damage, he may never walk....' Then went part -time to try and do the whole work, physio thing, but after a year and we discovered just how much work he needed from us, and when I ha exhausted myself, I gave up work.

I have never looked back, my son is walking and everyone is surprised by his progress.

Cissi

As Pinklepurr said, not many people would say that they can easily afford to have children, at any point in their lives. Yet, somehow most of us do manage. You seem to be both financially savvy and responsible, which I applaud. Just be careful not to plan too carefully, or at least don't count on things going to plan! I have no idea how old you are, or what the "health issues" are to which Spendless refers, but please do be aware that a woman's fertility declines steadily from her late twenties onwards. I know many, many women who planned to have children in, say, their mid-thirties - only to then be faced with issues they'd never thought they'd have.

I'd say that as long as you have your life reasonably well "sorted out", which you seem to have, and you feel emotionally ready to have children (which you also seem to be), then it's never too early to start. Personally, I was 28 when we started trying, and I'm so glad of this, as it took us 5 years to have our first child (unexplained infertility, both our children were conceived by IVF). If we'd waited even a few years longer, our chances would have been drastically reduced. By the time we did IVF to have our second, I was already 35. We'd have liked a third, but have decided to be grateful for what we have.

Of course many women are still able to conceive even in their 40s, but it isn't as common or as easy as much of the media would have us believe.

Finally, to answer your question I'm in the same situation as Wendym's daughter (but I don't think she's my Mum, LOL): I live in Twickenham, and we decided early on that it wouldn't be financially worthwhile for me to return to work (especially as my job involved a fair bit of travelling, as does OH's). I too am in the lucky situation to be "cushioned" by OH's income, although of course we miss my income. As for possible jobs around the kids, I was going to suggest Phoenix Trading or something similar. I've actually gone a step further, and set up an internet business from home. At the moment I work this around my DS1's preschool hours, DS2's naps, evenings and weekends, but as my business is growing I will need some extra help.

Another possibility as the children grow a little older is to look for work in a school (like Pinklepurr). Or, if you like working with young children, you could train as a preschool teacher - most (all?) of the teachers in my DS's preschool are Mums, and the hours are great (for example, 3 hours a couple of mornings a week in term-time).

It all seems daunting at first, but usually works out just fine in the end

Alikay

It doesn't necessarily have to be a full time regular job to bring in enough money to manage. When ours were little I worked evenings in a call-centre, but also did a bit of Avon and some mystery shopping. DH and I also spent a couple of weekends delivering the Phone Directory.

Lots of friends worked in Sainsburys or Asda, either evenings on the tills, or shelf-filling at night -even 1 or 2 who'd had good careers & a university education. If you want a family and are prepared to be flexible and keep an open mind, you'll manage fine.

wendym

Cissi wrote: »

Finally, to answer your question I'm in the same situation as Wendym's daughter (but I don't think she's my Mum, LOL):

Hello there!