Retirement Village living

fuddle

Having lived in 4 different houses in the last six years and only 35, I have folded my life away plenty a time to realise that it's the people in the house that make it a home. You will have your loved possesions. Your memories are with you and so are your photographs.

It can be so exciting starting a fresh. You have a very level headed approach and above all a positive frame of mind. I am sure you will make whatever decision you feel is right then run with it... with gusto and a real smile!

glitterpuss

My MIL moved into a retirement village closer to us five years ago.
When she first started thinking about moving FIL was still alive and was very anti the village as he "didn't want to live with lots of old people". At that time they were both very mobile, and he in particular enjoyed his daily walks down to the paper shop. When FIL died, she decided she would move from their 4 bed detached to a 2 bed bungalow.
Its owned outright by her but she pays service and maintenance charges, and if sold can only be sold to over 55's!.
It gives her the peace of mind, and us that she is living in a caring community with like-minded people. They have a film club, a scrabble club and jigsaw club in the community lounge. The mini-bus takes them to the supermarket twice and week, and the doctors/hospital if needed. They have a warden who pops in each day.
Downside is that the residents have no control over the service costs, they often have problems with their internet,as the modem is often switched off over the weekend, and sometimes it takes a long time to get things done.The retirement village is in the middle of nowhere though, so although MIL is able to walk a little way she can't get anywhere unless she's driven.FIL would have felt cut off from the outside world, but MIL doesn't seem too bothered!
Best decision she ever made though, she's made lots of new friends and is busy every day.
Hope you enjoy your day out investigating - and let us know how you get on.

nursemaggie

Hi Bella

I wish you the best. Do not let these people rush you into anything. This sort of thing is not to be rushed into so if they are giving you a deadline, for me alarm bells would be ringing.

None of us has actually told you anything about extra care because we have not got the experience of it. I've heard of it and get the impression it is the sort of place you would move into after you need extra care instead of a nursing home.

You are not going to need it for years if you ever do. The vast majority of older people never need any care at all. Some need a couple of hours a week cleaning usually it is anything heavy. The vast majority get that cleaning done by family. Those that pay for someone to clean usually either have no relatives, no relatives outside their age group or their family is too far away to make it practical to come for two hours a week cleaning.

Extra care seems a bit over the top. I have never heard it described as anything but a substitute for a nursing home. If you can afford it is a very good alternative because you keep a greater level of independence.

I have worked in a total of 5 schemes with two local authorities and two Housing associations.

The reason I recommended Age UK is they are independent expert advice. It cost nothings anyone over 50 can go to them for advice on just about any subject. They are a brilliant organisation. I have had them recommended to me as better than CAB.

Precisely because you are quite young yet I think you are right to be hesitant. I know one of the problems of looking for a little bungalow is there have never been enough built. In some area they are like hens teeth.

btw I think you can also get a lot of printed booklets about all types of older peoples accommodation from Anchor even if they are not in your area. Anchor also manage a lot of very small housing association's properties. These are usually just one property like my very first scheme that belonged to the Baptist Church. As a housing association they have mainly general housing. It was run buy a local committee. I think only the treasurer was under 60 some of the members were well in there 90s and older than all of the residents. The church had a dwindling congregation with mainly older members so the last I heard was they paid to have it managed by Anchor. I also used to visit a small scheme of bungalows owned by a housing association with general housing and that is managed by Anchor too. It is in Gloucester and the main HA is in Birmingham. You can see the sense in having that managed by experts.

There is a lot more available than you think.

Should you need extra care in the future the place you are looking at may have resales.

I would try and get your DH to go see a Dr about the chest pain especially if he gets it again. It could be angina. With good medical care he could live a long and happy life with no need for any nursing care. If it isn't he will have had a very good checkup.

lessonlearned

Hi bells

Just a quickie to wish you well.

I agree with nursemaggie, take your time - you don't have to make any decisions today.

Two things

You talk about folding your life away. This need not be the.case,.

For every one of my residents the move was about beginning a new life, a chance to make new friends. Freed from the heavy responsibilities of trying to upkeep their properties, they usually had a new lease of life and energy.

You won't have to give up all your favourite hobbies and pastimes but you will have the opportunity to try new things.

You say you won't be able to live an OS life, batching cooking and freezing, I dont see why it, many of my ladies did. They had knitting and sewing afternoons, baking sessions, regular bring and buys sales etc.

A couple of our residents were very keen gardeners and they were able to have their own vegetsble plots. One gentlemen in particular had very green fingers and would sell his surplus to the other residents.

I promise you you wont be treated like children or have decisions removed from you. You will still have full autonomy to run your lives as you see fit. You can keep yourselves to yourselves or join in with your neighbours as and when you want.

It's just a case of finding the right place. You are very fortunate in that you are both still fit and well and you are not having to make a rushed decision. Take your time.

One thing I would say and this is based on my experience as both a manager at a sheltered housing accommodation and as a carer for my late husband. Please pay close attention to the practicalities of the building, it's location ie proximity to shops and day to day needs, watch out for steep hills etc. Also think care fully about wheelchair access, so look out for flights of steps, is there a lift if you need one at a later date. Try to forward plan for a time when you might be less mobile.

Look forward to hearing how you get on today.

bellaquidsin

Many thanks for your input on this thread. I think it is wise advice not to rush into things. We were going a bit headlong but I think we are calming down a bit now. The only pressure on us is that ouy of 212 apartments there are only a handful still available. The complex won't be finished for another year but the marketing is almost complete.


The apartment we favour because it is on the ground floor and because we think it is the one we could afford, is very small. There are bigger double apartments which have a walk in wardrobe which would make all the difference storage wise but cost £20,000 more. The kitchen in the smaller apartment has very little work top space most of which would be taken by a toaster, kettle and microwave so I think I would be saying goodbye to baking and batch cooking. The freezer is also very small, the fridge however is bigger than anything I've ever owned and I would love that.


It is very well situated on a main bus route which would take us to the city centre or to more local shops and also to the hospitals. Inside the complex everything has been thought about and disabled access is no problem. There are several lifts throughout the complex. Yes, there is a gardening area and a craft room, so plenty of activities which would be dear to my heart. DH is not a hobbies person but our place of worship is within walking distance and he says he would go there and practice on the organ as he is already the organist but has never had the time to learn to use the pedals.


We'll be off soon and should know a lot more when we come home. I will certainly keep you all informed as you have all been so kind.


Bella.

[Deleted User]

My late Oh and I downsized 19 years ago to a smaller cosy property within 2 miles of our children .I loved my other house, but now I am so glad we did what we did when we did it it realeased capitol for our children at a time when it was most needed, when their children were small. It meant that research into where and how accessible shops,Drs,librarys etc were when we no longer drove were.

I still drive at the moment, but one day I will have to stop and I am five mintutes from a decent bus route plus the Drs ,shops etc are all within easy walking distace (good job really as I am not able to walk that far and use a stick now)
I now live in a mid terrace house with three bedrooms and a sitting room and not too bad a sized kitchen. I have my small conservatory plus about 70ft of garden (I do have a chap who comes once a fortnight to do the mowing etc) My overheads are reasonable, and my heating costs are around £44.00 per month for gas CH and electric combined.I live well within my means and because the house is far smaller its not so much to heat.I have a window cleaner who is great once a month for £6.00 he does the outside .Council tax is a lot cheaper here than in London so its win-win.My late OH decide that we were spending far too much time whizzing up and down the motorway seeing our DD and grandchildren so downsizing near to them was a more sensible option.I never fancied living on a over 55s place as I have friends of all ages and the thought of being stuck with similar 'crinklies' filled me with horror.It took me about two years to settle into a smaller place but getting rid of a lot of stuff helped and now I have enough room as sadly there is only me to please.

SailorSam

I'm only 61 so younger than you Op but my house is fairly big with a big garden and i've thought in time this may become unmanageable for me. Not far from where i live are a couple of flats in a nice position but they're shared ownership which put me off, there are other new build flats going up and i imagine there maybe some sort of service/maintenace charge i'd be more inclinced to go for one of them.

lessonlearned

I think a major factor in these decisions is your health.

If you are in your ealy 60,and in robust health then that might be a bit too soon for a retirement complex. If however you already have mobility or long term health issues then it is probably better move sooner., rather than later.

For a lot of people simply downsizing to more manageable accommodation may be enough.

Chose the right property and you may never need to consider a retirement complex. You might get away with just buying in some help as and when you need it.

I am 63 and I shall be house hunting soon. My husband died earlier this year after a long illness which resulted in him being paralysed. I learned so much about the needs of wheelchair users, difficulties in bathing etc.

My dad is 88 and has only just recently moved into sheltered accommodation. It's lovely and he has settled very well. However I've noticed a few poor design features which the builders could have done so much better.

I know exactly what kind of property I shall buy so that I can future proof it and adapt it for when I'm less able. I shall be ensuring that everything will be wheel chair friendly, just in case.

Then, hopefully, if or rather when I get frail I will be able to remain in my own home for a good long time.

bellaquidsin

Well, we're back from the meeting at the Retirement Village and it seems we are at the end of the road.


The fact is that if we put all our money from our house sale and our capital together we can just about afford to buy the smallest 2 bed apartment BUT we cannot afford the weekly costs from our income.


We could however go for a larger apartment on a part buy/part share basis and retain some capital and add rent to the weekly costs until the capital was eroded down to £16,000 after which the weekly costs would be reduced by the grand sum of £30.00 but we still would not afford the costs out of income.


So it looks like we've reached the end of the road but who knows what is just around the corner, maybe the beginning of another adventure.


Thanks to everyone who has shared this little journey with me.


Bella.

lessonlearned

As the saying goes "if it's meant for you, then it will not go by you".

Ok so this was not the option for you but there will be other choices. Take a break from it for now and then perhaps you can think again after Christmas.

I would suggest you contact Age Concern, they should be able to give you lots of advice. Also perhaps your local library or your local council should have a list of all the local charities that have sheltered housing your area. Try your local surgery, and your local adult social services dept. a good source of help is PALS (patient Liason services) attached to your local hospital.

I only mentioned Anchor because it is nationwide but there are bound to be several smaller charities that are local to you.

In our city we have dozens of complexes run by all sorts of charities. For example there are some gorgeous almshouses but you have to have worked in retail to be eligible.

Don't despair there will be something out there.

You haven't reached the end of the road, your journey is only just beginning.;)

Without wishing to pry into your finances would the funds fron the sale of your house stretch to a bungalow.

I don't know if you read my last post but I will be househunting soon and a bungalow is top of my list.

I think that in the near future bungalows will become like gold dust because unfortunately no one is building them any more. Luckily there do seem to be plenty around in my neck of the woods.

Re flats. They can be a good alternative but extreme care has to be exercised. You are at the mercy of your neighbours, even more so than if you are in a house. A lot of flats have very poor sound insulation and if you are unlucky enough to have the neighbours from hell your life will be a misery.

If I was looking at flats I think I would opt for an over 55,s complex.

(I used to sell new build properties for a living:). I once sold a lovely very prestigious development of apartments In a very sought after area and we had several retirees move in.

The last two unitis were sold to two single guys who just so happened to be drug dealers and who turned their flats into brothels. It was awful. I'm afraid I've rather been put off apartments since then.

You are both still young, and although I gather you are a bit concerned about declining health, all being well you don't have to make any immediate decision.

Take time out to have a break and just mull things over for a while.