Retirement Village living

meanmarie

Have seen the safe and happy life that a relative had in sheltered housing for many years, there was a warden who checked on every visitor to any of the residents, lunch was available to anyone who wanted it.....this was a council operated rental facility and is a move that I would recommend to anyone in your situation Bella, selling your house and putting all your money into one venture doesnt seem a wonderful idea to me....it has been suggested by another poster that you could sell and move to a small house if the idea of rental doesnt appeal......my OH and I are 74 and 69 respectively and are no longer very fit.....we pay to have the garden tidied up a couple of times a year, have a cleaner but still have our independance which we cherish.

Forgive me for the lecture, but please look at all options before making a decision which may be very difficult if not impossible to change

Marie

franklally

I can completely understand all the negatives also but speaking from a personal point of view my parents in law had 8 very happy years in a McCarthy and stone flat that is local to us - they felt safe, secure, warm and very content the whole time and we did not have to worry about them at all if we went away for a few days as we knew the warden would always know if they had not seen them and give us a call.
Financially it would have been better for them to stay in their house and leave more money in their will - but we were not interested in that - and always looked at it as their hard earned money that they could spend as they liked.
In recent years I have noticed a lot of single abandoned elderly people around me - who's children have moved away and left their parent dependent on the goodwill of local folk - who are themselves elderly - and tHe parent is then patronised with a visit by their child a few times a year.
I can see what living arrangement makes financial sense - but then I know what option I would prefer...

bossymoo

Is it worth talking to someone who lives there already, to get their take on things?

bellaquidsin

Thanks again for all your input. We do have a friend who has lived in a Retirement Village for the last two years or so. She has been extremely happy but it's hard to compare as her personal circumstances are so different from ours. She is alone (divorced) and disabled with rheumatoid arthritis, the house she sold did not realize the price of the apartment and she is on pension credit. She has had a lot of help and only pays a very small weekly amount towards the expenses of the place.


Whilst she is somewhat of a special case she does report that all the ladies around her seem to be just as happy.


Bella.

[Deleted User]

bellaquidsin wrote: »

Oh dear, more negatives than positives here. We have been considering this move for a long time and it all came to a head last week when we were washing the net curtains from the front bay window. I'm not very good up the steps as I have had three foot operations in the last four years so DH was doing the bulk of it - reluctantly. Half way through he had to sit down with a pain in his chest. I don't think it was anything serious but it got us thinking again about moving.

.

Dh and I downsized, first of all 10 years ago to a lovely house in a ( non retirement) development of 45 properties, the gardening, insurance even window cleaning was taken care of by the management company. We, as a group, saw the management charges creep up and also a lack of care in awarding contracts. Also living in close proximity to lots of other people is not a good idea if you value privacy, many people can be lovely but it only takes a couple of nasty ones to upset the applecart. Six years later we moved while we were still able

We now live in an easy to maintain and cheap to run, eco detached house in a small village and we have a good community but we all respect each others privacy, while rallying around if help is needed. No close neighbours playing booming music, heard through walls, like before, just birds, sheep and an orchard behind us. Neighbours two minutes away to the front, in fact someone just came to ask dh to get a difficult lid off something, we are like that here and we help each other. So we have the community but privacy too and we have room for our bikes and for dh to relax, while pursuing his new wood carving hobby. He has heart failure and mild copd but having a new hobby has made him younger

We have worked steadily to make the garden manageable for the future, lots of gravel and slate and drought resistant plants in pots and we can get a gardener if needed. Next door has a cleaner, we don`t need one at the moment but never say never. Our stairs are wide enough for a stair lift and we have a snug downstairs, suitable for a bed if needed

What I am saying is to perhaps make a pros and cons list, include noisy neighbours and make allowances for what you can buy in to help you, for much less than the management costs of a retirement village. Then think on a bit further to `what if a care home is needed?`. You will have the full value of your own home to enable you to buy into a care home of your choice

In summary I would do my sums first and then downsize to somewhere where you won`t be isolated or be surrounded by young families with children and near a bus route. 70 is not old today but is a good age to get ready to be old

Ches

I think this all depends on where in the country you live. Certainly here you could not get a council run warden assisted flat if you already own property so that wouldn't be an option. My sister does live in a council run WA flat and hers is so tiny I couldn't live in it as its so restricted and she spends most of her time in the communial (sp) lounge which wouldn't be for me. We have friends who live in a private retirement village and its beautiful. A lovely 2 bed flat with company in the communial bit when wanted and I could certainly live there if I could drive as its quite remote. There is a third way though. We downsized into what is really a starter home. Modern 2 bed property with a very small garden. Easy to clean and maintain and in a small town with good facilities and a reasonable bus service. Perhaps its something you could consider as an alternative.

curiousralphy

Not sure if it helps but some retirement villages have a kind of "step down" system where you can start off in your own house in the community and as you need more care you can be moved down the system to your own house with more care, your own room and ensuite that you maintain, then a room, sometimes shared, where you are looked after when no longer able to do the day to day for yourself (should it come to that). My grandmother was in one of these. Most villages with this kind of thing are more than happy to have people volunteer their time to spend with those who don't have much family and you can often ask to help out in the higher care areas with feeding and just sitting with people. My grandmother was in a great place and I found that it was by looking around the final stage areas that you got to see what kind of a place it really was. Maybe a few months volunteering your time at a few places will give you a feel for them. The management are always happy to take your money and will tell you how wonderful they are but the residents, especially the most vulnerable ones are the ones to look at I think. The good places will always bring them out of their rooms and will spend time taking the residents outside when the weather is good even if they don't seem to notice it, but the bad ones just feed them and turn on the TV's in their rooms and they never sit with them or spend time talking to them. I know you're looking nowhere near that kind of care but if they have a section like that in the village it's harder for them to hide it if the management are not so resident focused as they should be.

[Deleted User]

BELLA have either of you been in the forces? My FIL who had been in the army qualified for a place in a CESSA retirement community where there was a warden on duty 24 hours a day, each resident paid their rent and had a self contained flat with its' own front door, lounge, bedroom, kitchen and bathroom and there were shared facilities like a laundry room, a lounge where they had something on most evenings and always afternoon tea available for anyone who wanted it. Also if you were a singleton they had the availability of Sunday lunch (you had to pay of course) so everyone who wanted to could meet up and eat together. He was very happy there and spent the last 10 years of his life there after MIL died. He said on the day he moved in 'Thank goodness for that, I don't have to worry about tiles coming off the roof any more, someone else can do that for me now!' There was a lift to all floors and they had a hairdresser, a chiropodist and some other useful people who came in once a week for anyone who wanted those services and the warden made sure to check on each and every one of them once every day. Not a buy in situation and yes, you do pay monthly rental but all charges including hot water and central heating were included in the rent. Hope that helps, Lyn xxx.

newthrift

As people have mentioned you could consider downsizing and then bringing in additional care that you require as and when you need it. As example; my Grandad is 79 but in poor health (diabetes, permanent catheter, heart failure, can't bend one knee, overweight and other bits and bobs but still fully there in his mind thankfully )
The house he lives in is a 10-15 minute drive from my parents and has a kitchen and living room downstairs, toilet and his bedroom (+ spare room) upstairs. No option to alter the downstairs to accommodate a bathroom/bedroom due to the size. My grandma passed away nearly 11 years ago and there was the option for him to move to a council bungalow literally a 1 minute walk up the road from my parents with a warden on a pull cord, they are nice and obviously the benefit of my parents being near enough on hand!! He refused to move many times over the years, so my Dad mainly but my Mum quite a lot too, stop in on him every single day and once he deteriorated again they arranged for care to come in twice a day (originally 3 times but 2 is now sufficient), he has a stair lift so he can get up to bed and my parents still do his food shopping and most cleaning (but I think this is something that can be added in on discussion with the care company if someone required).

Bit of a ramble there but just if a retirement village wasn't fully suited it really is a feasible option to downsize (one floored possibly better than two) and manage, even if your health was to become quite poor!!

nursemaggie

As a retired warden I can give you another view but not of private.

I retired early from nursing with a bad back. I then became a warden. They are more often called a manager these days.

We could all do to be able to chose this with hindsight. You may never ever need any care. On the other hand one of you will certainly be on their own, maybe for over 10 years. The support from other residents when the times comes is actually one of the best things about sheltered housing.

Most people perceive more intrusion than there actually is. You can chose how you receive your daily call so you do not have to have a visit. You can have an intrusive neighbour anywhere. The answer to that is to keep your door locked. Your warden will not come in without invitation and he /she will be a mine of information.

Your children will have peace of mind. My parents were in sheltered housing and I never had to worry again.

You will live on average about 8 years longer than anyone not in sheltered housing mainly because you have someone who is trained to observe has all the information about any kind of help you may need before you have even thought about it. You will have an advocate.

I would advise having somewhere that has communal facilities. You don't have to use them but most schemes have something for everyone.

There is a big advantage in going to a housing association. Yes you do have rent and a management fee to pay. You will also have your capital from your house freed to use. Invest it well and you will never have to worry about money again. You will be able to do things older people without capital can no longer do.

There are thousands of housing associations many of them belonging to trade associations and unions so no matter what your job was there may be one that caters for you. Visit your local Age UK. There will be a local office. They will give you free advice and know all that is available in your area.