Retirement Village living

duchy

My aunt was adamant she didn't want to live in sheltered housing "with a lot of old people". The first few weeks she didn't mix and preferred her own company in her own flat but gradually made friends and joined in the varied activities. She loved it there- social life right there- but if she wanted her own space it was always respected.

The day she died she attended an event there and then excused herself -saying she felt tired. An hour later the warden popped up to check on her in case she was unwell and found her dead in her arm chair. She had gone peacefully -and with dignity- and found quickly as the people who ran the place cared about their residents and kept an eye even on those who appreciated privacy- but in a tactful manner.

Not all retirement villages are the same and different styles suit different people - but I do think they are worth a look -especially if there are concerns if a person is already single- or is likely to be widowed later on and wouldn't do well living completely unsupported .

bellaquidsin

Many thanks once again for all your comments.


Mrs LW No neither of us have been in the forces. We have considered many of the other suggestions made on here. We have looked at bungalows, smaller houses etc. and just about exhausted the possibilities in the area in which we wish to live.


Whilst the Retirement Village is still under construction and won't be ready for about 12 months, the marketing is coming to a close and there are only a few apartments available, so we are going to have to make up our minds fairly soon, having dragged our heals for a couple of years.


Tomorrow we go to talk finances and that may well be the deciding factor.


Bella.

lessonlearned

I was a manager at a sheltered housing scheme run by Anchor Trust, a charity which has complexes throughout the UK.

I concur with everything nurse Maggie has said, I cannot recommend them highly enough. When the time comes I shall certainly be booking my place.

I had people come into our complex who were broken wrecks, within a matter of weeks they blossomed. Time and time again I heard the same comment "I wish I had done this years ago".

Over time I began to notice that our new residents were getting younger. They were simply offloading larger properties and preparing themselves in plenty of time.

Many of our younger ones had large sums of money from the sale of their houses and were more than happy to pay rent, and not have the worry and expense of the upkeep of their properties.

Not all sheltered housing is council owned and run, there are plenty of charitable foundations which own some lovely complexes.

fuddle

I am a dom carer for a private company. Many of our customers are in sheltered housing. I have to say that I find these buildings warm, inviting, comfortable, easily accessible and have beautiful gardens. The feeling I get is cosy contentment. Being in sheltered housing still affords people choice. Like I say they still buy in our services and help, privately.

I also see the heartache in elderly widow/widowers who have a large, old house that they are very attached to but can no longer look after or cope with mobility issues in the space. I feel there is an added pressure, a burdon maybe even a depression with my customers who are in this kind of scenario. It's very sad.

Ultimately, if it was me, I would be looking to keep control of my life and make decisions based on what I need. No one knows what scenario is around the corner and I take my hat off to you bellaquidsin for taking control of your later years.

It's very sad to see people get swept up in circumstance that results in feeling trapped or not in control.

bellaquidsin

Thanks fuddle, you seem to know where I'm coming from. I have a horror of being left in this house and having to cope with selling it alone. I don't think I would, I'd just stay here and rot then my family would have to come and dig me out. I don't want to put them through that and am trying to make plans to protect them.


Bella

[Deleted User]

Bella do what your intuition and heart are telling you. There has been some great advice on this board and it has opened my eyes too. I particularly like the paying rent post as I thought it was buy or nothing. I think we are all a bit scared of being left alone and unable to cope

nursemaggie

Bella I highly recommend Anchor Housing but there are lots of housing associations Anchor is just the biggest that specialises in Sheltered Housing. There may be a small local one near you that is ideal.

Very few people manage to get a brand new car in their life unless they get a company car. I have found a new car is what most people treat themselves to when they sell their house. They keep it for life. A special holiday is always popular too.

I still recommend you talk to Age UK they have people specially trained for this.

DS and I had a talk about a couple of hours ago. I am going to find out if anyone will accept him living with me in sheltered housing. I have lots of health problems including cancer so it would be a good idea for me. I have worked on schemes that have accepted sons under the age but 20 may just be too young.

bellaquidsin

Thanks nursemaggie, there is no Anchor Housing in our area. We are looking at an Extra Care Retirement Village and will be discussing finances with them tomorrow.


I hope you will be able to sort something our re. having your son living with you. I can see that is very important for you.


Bella

bellaquidsin

Well, today's the day! We are going to talk money at the Retirement Village. We have lots of questions and not a little apprehension, e.g. are we ready to do such a drastic downsize? Is anyone really ready to fold away one's life. Should we wait until it is absolutely necessary, but by then it may be too late to make the move.


When it comes to lying awake wondering where on earth I would keep my mop and bucket in the new apartment, I think that just maybe the time has not yet come......,


It certainly flies in the face of my very frugal OS ways and those of my forebears who have left me financially in a position to be able to even think about it. There would be no room to stockpile, batch bake, fill the freezer with homemade ready meals and all the things that make up my life at the moment, but then OS can be very tiring at times. Oh dear, I'm in a muddle.


Bella.

iris

I have been reading this thread with interest, as my husband and I have been discussing what we would like to happen in the next few years.


14 years ago we moved from a small country cottage in Devon that required lots of upkeep, to a new detached bungalow with an easily manageable garden (no lawn), which is where we live at the moment. It was the right move for us at the time and we were able to buy our bungalow and have money left over to enjoy ourselves/invest.


We are now at an age (69 and 73) when we are thinking about our next move. Whilst our bungalow and garden are easy to maintain, we are wondering would either of us want to remain here if we were on our own.


I shall follow this thread with interest and hope you make the right decision for both of you.