Family Christmas Gifts

TBeckett100

What do they buy you? If they send you a card and that's it, just send them one. The problem with small presents is they just get recycled. I have a rule, a decent present or no present.

My grandma bought me a box of chocolates last year despite me taking her to the doctors (in work time) on 17 occasions. My sister who does FA got £50.00.

My birthday was just after Xmas, did she ring me up? Her birthday was just before Xmas and I took her to lunch, bought gifts etc etc.

Anyway, I vowed to only speak to her again if she phoned to see how I am. So far its been 11 months. heh ho.

masonsmum

TBH my nieces do not even have the decency to thank us for the gifts they have received in the past, last year I gave them a £20 soap and glory gift set plus a lovely scarf each and they did not even acknowledge they had received it! I always take it in on xmas eve so they can open it in the morning and they do not even say thank you when they visit on xmas day!

dandelionclock30

I'd ask SIL not to bother this year for your children and say that your only buying for your own kids due to finances being tight or say that just a card and a token gift would be sufficent and that your doing the same.
She might be relieved not having to bother. Lets face it a lot of people do not want to buy gifts for relatives.

Buzzybee90

masonsmum wrote: »

TBH my nieces do not even have the decency to thank us for the gifts they have received in the past, last year I gave them a £20 soap and glory gift set plus a lovely scarf each and they did not even acknowledge they had received it! I always take it in on xmas eve so they can open it in the morning and they do not even say thank you when they visit on xmas day!

I think we all know someone like this! I personally send thank you cards, my parents always made sure we did as children and I don't know why that should stop at adults. However, I think a phone call or face-to-face thank you is perfectly sufficient but it's really, really, really, rude when you see someone and they don't say anything.

Buzzybee90

millysg1 wrote: »

On my OHs side, there are 6 Aunts and uncles and 5 cousins with 3 partners, but when you also include his parents, his brother and sister and grandparents (who we always buy for) the additional 14 people is too expensive when that also doesn't include any of my side of the family to buy for.

Therefore, we do secret Santa with those 14 people.

I can see how this would be an issue! I think it also depends on how close you are. I want to buy presents for those I am close to, I enjoy it. However if you do have to buy for lots and lots of people you can feel slightly less 'happy' about it.

maman

TBeckett100 wrote: »

What do they buy you? If they send you a card and that's it, just send them one. The problem with small presents is they just get recycled. I have a rule, a decent present or no present.

We were aware that an awful lot of 'stuff' that no one really wanted or needed was being bought so we stopped all presents except for our two DGDs and a few school age nieces and nephews about for years ago. The few adults in the family that we used to buy for were pleased as they were always racking their brains what to buy (as we were) so now we just go out together and enjoy each others company.


So now we buy really good presents or give money to our DDs for their birthdays (near Christmas anyway) and sometimes buy small 'saw this and thought of you' gifts for others during the year. It's spontaneous and appreciated but not essential.


To answer the OP, I'd stop buying for the nieces, but you do need to mention it beforehand so SIL has the option of not buying for your LOs. Maybe discuss it with your DH too as it's his immediate family and he may think differently.

Carmina-Piranha_2

My (huge) family do things differently to my husband's (small) family.

It might be worth mentioning to your SIL beforehand if you decide to buy a token gift for older nieces or nothing at all. When I tried to cut down on present giving within my husband's wider family my MIL thought it might cause offence because they seem to have 'rules', so she said that anybody we didn't want to buy for, to tell her so she can buy them a gift in our name. It seems daft to me when they are people I've never met in 13 years of marriage, but that's the way they do things.

Within my family we tend to buy for nieces and nephews who are school age.

victory

masonsmum wrote: »

We have quite a large family of neices and nephews and I am undecided on what to do about Christmas Gifts this year. My husbands sisters are a bit older than him so a few of his nephews are a bit older (early twenties) but we still have 3 neices who live at home aged 19, 18 and 16.

Now the 19 and 18 year old live at home and both work bringing in an income, what would you do in this instance would you continue to buy gifts till a certain age? Bearing in mind that my SIL still give my 2 kids who are young at 8 and 3?

But the SIL gives to yours because they are 8 and 3:) after say 18/21 that is it, just a card, or if they agree then secret santa, once they have a job and can buy themselves anything they want.

System

I only have a small family, even still for money reasons we are doing a secret santa this year (which im gutted about as i love buying presents, so the bf will be getting extra this year!)

. I remember being a bit miffed when my step aunty decided to stop sending birthday money on my 18th, but she kind of set a precedent as my mum insisted on doing the same for my cousins when they reached that age (which i don't think is what she intended on happening, i just don't think she liked me much as i'm not a blood relation). I think if you discuss it beforehand that will be ok, i just don't recommend doing it without telling anyone as it might cause some confusion.

Torry_Quine

I have a very few gifts to buy, just three other than my husband.

I would love to have the problem of lots of people to buy for such as nieces and nephews or even good friends although I appreciate it must be hard to think of what to get especially if finances are tough.

Your SIL will getting for your young children but you presumably got for hers when younger so don't stress too much about stopping but if you do please say something to SIL first so it doesn't come as a surprise.